I tried this over in the gifted forum first and so far it's not going so well. This is always a very supportive area though, and I know many of you can identify. I just need to commiserate a little with someone. I'm feeling a little lost and alone atm, and I think feeling less alone will help.
I was this kid, so I totally understand where they're coming from...but sometimes I'm totally stumped at how to parent them.
Yesterday was one of THOSE days for us. Our house is on a couple acres of farmland, smack in the middle of a very developed town. Condos tower over the orchard on 2 sides. The other 2 sides of the property are well fenced with 6' chain link. We homeschool so the kids are out and visible during school hours all the time. They are working on a project about 3-4 stories up one of our trees. They have this elevator thing to get larger and heavier items up there. Fine. More power to them. Our street is a crazy busy major thoroughfare, though. Multi-lane, huge street. Occasionally passing cars get concerned that the kids are out during school hours or something. Yesterday, one of them called 911 saying some kids had broken into an abandoned property. (Our farm is not manicured in the manner of the local condos. Even lettuce won't grow if you cut it that short.) 8yr dd met the cop at the gate and promptly asked if he had a warrant to be in our driveway. The kids called the dog over (huge dog) to make their point clear. I, of course, have an ear out when they're in the yard...so as soon as I heard a mans voice I was right there. It went over smoothly enough from that point. I let him pet the dog so he we wouldn't have some issue about the kids playing with such a terrifying animal. (he'll protect the kids to the death, but otherwise he's the biggest wimp on earth) Yes, it was all followed by quite an interesting discussion.
Maybe an hour later, 11yr ds comes whipping out of the bathroom declaring that it's 3:30! The skatepark's open! And he's gone. (Its 2 blocks from our house and the city keeps it totally locked up during school hours and after dusk and whenever else they feel like it. It's open like 2-3 hours per day) Sometime after, I go in to use the bathroom and discover blistered paint, scorch marks on multiple walls, and a blackened toilet with a melted seat.
Turns out ds has been working on his homemade flame thrower designs again. He mastered them once, without incident, so lost interest before I could get through to him not to mess with fire in the first place. I guess he's come up with some ideas to "concentrate the stream, and increase directional control." Only, he didn't take into account that if you concentrate the stream, you also increase the power (aka DISTANCE) of the stream. He manage to set the big fresh roll of toilet paper on fire ("and those things really go up a lot faster than you'd think!") and the contraption in his hand! He dropped it all in the toilet to put it out, cleaned things up to the point you could tell WHAT happened, just not HOW, and made a break for it.
Everyone's fine. The damage is all essentially cosmetic. And, yes, ds will be developing a very close relationship with the local fire dept. in the near future.
The next person that tells me how easy I have it to have such smart kids is being dragged in by their ear and made to repaint my bathroom! And if I could reach through the screen, the first responder in the gifted section would already be there! lol
I was this kid, so I totally understand where they're coming from...but sometimes I'm totally stumped at how to parent them.
Yesterday was one of THOSE days for us. Our house is on a couple acres of farmland, smack in the middle of a very developed town. Condos tower over the orchard on 2 sides. The other 2 sides of the property are well fenced with 6' chain link. We homeschool so the kids are out and visible during school hours all the time. They are working on a project about 3-4 stories up one of our trees. They have this elevator thing to get larger and heavier items up there. Fine. More power to them. Our street is a crazy busy major thoroughfare, though. Multi-lane, huge street. Occasionally passing cars get concerned that the kids are out during school hours or something. Yesterday, one of them called 911 saying some kids had broken into an abandoned property. (Our farm is not manicured in the manner of the local condos. Even lettuce won't grow if you cut it that short.) 8yr dd met the cop at the gate and promptly asked if he had a warrant to be in our driveway. The kids called the dog over (huge dog) to make their point clear. I, of course, have an ear out when they're in the yard...so as soon as I heard a mans voice I was right there. It went over smoothly enough from that point. I let him pet the dog so he we wouldn't have some issue about the kids playing with such a terrifying animal. (he'll protect the kids to the death, but otherwise he's the biggest wimp on earth) Yes, it was all followed by quite an interesting discussion.
Maybe an hour later, 11yr ds comes whipping out of the bathroom declaring that it's 3:30! The skatepark's open! And he's gone. (Its 2 blocks from our house and the city keeps it totally locked up during school hours and after dusk and whenever else they feel like it. It's open like 2-3 hours per day) Sometime after, I go in to use the bathroom and discover blistered paint, scorch marks on multiple walls, and a blackened toilet with a melted seat.
Turns out ds has been working on his homemade flame thrower designs again. He mastered them once, without incident, so lost interest before I could get through to him not to mess with fire in the first place. I guess he's come up with some ideas to "concentrate the stream, and increase directional control." Only, he didn't take into account that if you concentrate the stream, you also increase the power (aka DISTANCE) of the stream. He manage to set the big fresh roll of toilet paper on fire ("and those things really go up a lot faster than you'd think!") and the contraption in his hand! He dropped it all in the toilet to put it out, cleaned things up to the point you could tell WHAT happened, just not HOW, and made a break for it.
Everyone's fine. The damage is all essentially cosmetic. And, yes, ds will be developing a very close relationship with the local fire dept. in the near future.
The next person that tells me how easy I have it to have such smart kids is being dragged in by their ear and made to repaint my bathroom! And if I could reach through the screen, the first responder in the gifted section would already be there! lol
. Anyhow, I do want to empathize with you. I'm no longer a single parent, but I was one for a few years, and my DH is currently deployed, so I'm solo for a while and thus the only disciplinarian. I agree with Learning Mum that perhaps a trip to the fire station is in order, as well as a complete overhaul of the damaged bathroom. Perhaps your DS can put that super brain to work in re-designing some of the bathroom decor and/or picking out a color scheme (something to engage his brain while still requiring him to make amends for what he's done).
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