Theodore is 4 now.
still no offical Dx. Looks like SPD / anxiety / physical brain immaturity / and the expressive speech delay he is Dx with.
do we have a "run ragged tired sighhhhhhh" of a smilie
He is getting MORE emotional.
On one hand he is getting much better, longer attention span, more coorraptive and so on .. but then the flip side is his "emotional times" and "silly time" and his "out of conrtol times" seem to be STRONGER -- like more consentrated...instead of being a bit of a gooph all the time, he is more "normal" some and a lot "less normal" other times.
but the non-normal times are getting so much harder to work though / deal with / control.
he is getting harder for me to maintain. A lot of more of it is physical containment, rather than "keeping him on an even keel" -- jsut kinda buffering the uneven keel -- yk?
Also as Charles needs more from me, it is getting harder to strech to maintain Theo (or flat out control him sometimes). I mean I am only one being with two arms. both boys are hevey and strong. Charles wants to look around too, or he is intrested in this or that too -- so it is not any longer "just carry Charles along" and deal with Theo
(and Charles is very vocal about his wants and has more temper than Theo ever has / had)
his sadness is longer lasting, he cries harder and longer and is upset again and again by the same thing. his silly time is 110X more -- running faster, lasting longer, more combing, jusdt MORE
I KNOW he feeds off me and i am having a harder and harder time not personally feeling stressed -- with him and with the two of them. i just feel pulled all the time, i feel like i am not doing my best for either, and i feel stressed ---- i know Theo feeds off that and it just sets him off in a cycle that effects me and os on
I mean -- over all he is more mature and more "together" and wow he is doing so much better is ST and on the school stuff we do at home. But now when he is "out there" he seems farther out.
I don't know just feeling worn down ....
.i tried to talk to mom on the phone, he tore all the sheets off the bed, jumped from the glider to the bed, fell .. dumped 2 baskets of clean laundry and was laughing like th ejoker all the time ... and there is no reaching him when he is like that. I finally put him in his room, he screamed -- 90 seconds later he was seaking into my room giggaling uncontrolable ..
just feeling defeated
still no offical Dx. Looks like SPD / anxiety / physical brain immaturity / and the expressive speech delay he is Dx with.
do we have a "run ragged tired sighhhhhhh" of a smilie
He is getting MORE emotional.
On one hand he is getting much better, longer attention span, more coorraptive and so on .. but then the flip side is his "emotional times" and "silly time" and his "out of conrtol times" seem to be STRONGER -- like more consentrated...instead of being a bit of a gooph all the time, he is more "normal" some and a lot "less normal" other times.
but the non-normal times are getting so much harder to work though / deal with / control.
he is getting harder for me to maintain. A lot of more of it is physical containment, rather than "keeping him on an even keel" -- jsut kinda buffering the uneven keel -- yk?
Also as Charles needs more from me, it is getting harder to strech to maintain Theo (or flat out control him sometimes). I mean I am only one being with two arms. both boys are hevey and strong. Charles wants to look around too, or he is intrested in this or that too -- so it is not any longer "just carry Charles along" and deal with Theo
(and Charles is very vocal about his wants and has more temper than Theo ever has / had)
his sadness is longer lasting, he cries harder and longer and is upset again and again by the same thing. his silly time is 110X more -- running faster, lasting longer, more combing, jusdt MORE
I KNOW he feeds off me and i am having a harder and harder time not personally feeling stressed -- with him and with the two of them. i just feel pulled all the time, i feel like i am not doing my best for either, and i feel stressed ---- i know Theo feeds off that and it just sets him off in a cycle that effects me and os on
I mean -- over all he is more mature and more "together" and wow he is doing so much better is ST and on the school stuff we do at home. But now when he is "out there" he seems farther out.
I don't know just feeling worn down ....
.i tried to talk to mom on the phone, he tore all the sheets off the bed, jumped from the glider to the bed, fell .. dumped 2 baskets of clean laundry and was laughing like th ejoker all the time ... and there is no reaching him when he is like that. I finally put him in his room, he screamed -- 90 seconds later he was seaking into my room giggaling uncontrolable ..
just feeling defeated
I find 4 to be a bit challenging anyway. Actually, the whole 2-4y range. Having 2 there myself right now...
Is there a mother's day out program or something similar that you could try for a bit to at least get a break? Isaac just started preschool very part time (couple of hours a day for 4 days a week) building up to full time when I am gone this summer. Already, it has made a huge difference in my ability to deal with the hard times. Knowing that I will get a break from the intensity, combined with an actual break, is really good for me. I remember feeling this way with the older boys as well (all high needs in their own way), so I think it is probably part of that natural separation process that occurs as they get older combined with the extra stressors of a high needs kiddo.
). The ladies' class is intellectual and stimulating, the MOPS is usually more girl fluff. I know how it is, just needing a break. I'll try to brainstorm some more.
And it helps me be a better mama afterwards. So I don't think it is a selfish thing. We have to take care of ourselves so we can care for them.
