Spitting

[swd12422]

DS is 2 and in a spitting phase. (It better be a short one!)

WDYD? I get LIVID when he does it at the table, but of course yelling doesn't cut it for several reasons. I say, "no spitting" and take his water cup away. He gets upset. Eventually, he calms down, but if he feels like doing it again, he'll just spit saliva on the floor.

He has learned the fun of timeouts from his hitting and kicking and throwing adventures. Now he throws a toy at DH and says, "Corner?" It's a game. So I doubt TO will work with spitting. Same with making him clean up the mess. He LOVES to get a washcloth and wipe things with it. So while it's a natural consequence to have clean up a mess he makes, I don't want him to do it on purpose b/c he likes the cleanup! Suggestions?

[AustinMom]

ummm.....that's a hard one. It's tough when your young kid is smart and high spirited like that. Don't get me wrong it's a good thing, but it can be challenging. Maybe threaten to take away his favorite toys? Have a box with a big X on it, and every time he spits, put another one of his toys in it. When he is good for a whole day (or whatever time frame you deem appropriate) take one out. I think he'd understand that.

[One_Girl]

Have you tried just ignoring him when he is seeking negative attention. Is it really a big deal to you that he doesn't spit into his cup? It is his cup he has to drink out of. If he tries to draw attention to the spitting then I think you should turn away and engage your husband in conversation. I suggest doing the same thing with the throwing, if you need to get up and leave the room, but don't engage him and continue to allow him to think it is a fun game. If this is something he does to get attention then make sure to watch him for signs that he is going to throw a toy, hit, or kick and do something to prevent it like tickling him or asking him a question to distract him.

[BabyFinch]

My daughter (2.5) has started doing this, so we tell her that she is welcome to spit in the sink or the bathtub. She is generally fine with this, since she really just wants to practice her spitting since she just recently figured out how to. If she won't listen and continues spitting on the floor or wherever, that's usually a sign that she's tired or hungry. Good luck!

[littleflair]

I like the idea of having a safe spitting place.

We've struggled with this also, with DD1 (who was 3) and then of course DD2 (who was 18 months) getting in on the act. For DD1, I told her that spitting is unsafe, spreads germs, will get other people sick, etc. Starting some of that explanation now for your DS might eventually start to pay off. For DD2, I mostly just redirect now. DD1 stopped entirely after a week or so, and DD2 only dabbles occasionally.

I also noticed that it coincided with some other stressors in DD1's life, and seemed to be more of an outlet for frustration/aggression. If this sounds like it could be the case for your DS, some of the standard options for hitting/biting/kicking etc. could also apply. e.g. more exercise, safe outlets for aggression (hitting pillows), anticipating triggers, that kind of thing.

[swd12422]

As usual, you mamas have all hit the nail on the head!
1. It's mostly a time-of-day thing. We have a great time running around in the morning, lunch is generally good unless we're late/too close to nap, and everything after nap and before bed is a nightmare. By the time we're midway through dinner, he's starting the hitting/spitting/cup flinging.
2. I hate the idea of allowing him to spit into his cup, but you're right -- it's better than on the floor and it's likely happening b/c he's ready for a regular cup instead of his sippy. Maybe if I give him a regular cup at every meal the novelty will wear off, or at least keep the spit off the table and floor!
3. He probably needs more exercise/some sort of activity in the afternoons after his nap, but that's so close to dinner-making time that we don't have time to do anything. I'll have to start shifting our schedule a bit to see if I can wear him out a little or at least engage him in something interesting...

Thanks for all the help! Now, to get DH to stop yelling, too....

[Dukey25]

no advice. My DS started spitting on the floor around age 2 yrs. I don't know how it began or ended but it did. Def. a phase. Albeit a very infuriating one.