Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand
Hello all! I am a PhD student in history who got pregnant about 6 months too soon...
How do you do it? I feel like everyone around me either formula feeds their babies, puts them in full time daycare and/or does CIO sleep training. I don't want to do any of those things. But I also am so stressed out about finishing! I don't want to not get my degree but most days my brain doesn't work because I am so tired.
I totally feel you on all of this. I was supposed to get pregnant this spring and have my 2nd baby after comping in November. Instead I got pregnant LAST SUMMER and had a 2nd in the middle of coursework. Now I am REALLY struggling to study for comps, since my youngest still nurses and does not take a bottle. My oldest (2 yrs now) was also a very high needs baby.
- some childcare is better than none, and you might be surprised how your daughter starts to like it after awhile. if she's anything like my oldest (sounds like she is -- same issues with sleep!) around 9/10 months she will start to enjoy other people instead of hating them
. (Not sure how old your kiddo is.) If your kid is older, than it might take a little bit of pushing but I bet she will (A) take more solids while you are gone and (B) start to have fun if you put her in a small group situation with other kids. Last summer when my oldest was 16 mo, I finally put her in a part-time, in-home place. I was totally terrified but she ended up LOVING it. And she never quit nursing. I felt comfortable having mornings to work, but still being with her in the afternoon. At that age she dropped her morning nap.
- Start strategizing solutions to sleep. I HIGHLY suggest Elizabeth Pantley's books. If your kiddo is under 1, get the regular No Cry Sleep Solution -- if older, get the one designed for toddlers. Do you have an involved partner? It may be time to get his/her help with bedtime. You also need to impose a sleep schedule if one hasn't naturally emerged. I say this as the mother of a very sleep--troubled child who, like yours, woke frequently at night and didn't have a nap schedule. Creating one FOR her, including an earlier bedtime with a routine that ended with my partner putting her to bed, TRANSFORMED MY LIFE. She didn't sleep through the night until 28 months, but she DID take better, longer, regularly timed naps.
Like you, I will be freaking about having time to work this fall. I have my older daughter in a great daycare in the mornings, and my littlest (6 months) will stay with a sitter or in a childcare co-op for a few hours in the morning too. I hope that between that and my partner helping in the evenings/on weekends, and trying to do some kid swapping with friends, that I can cobble together time to work. And I keep reminding myself that things DO change -- a baby at 9 months is different than 6 months, and a baby older than a year is capable of a lot more independence.GOOD LUCK!!