Elementary School - Skipping school for minor reasons? - Page 3

[rlandnl]

my son is in 1st and misses a lot of school. he has missed 3 days while they did the live h1n1 vaccine, he i don't know 4 or 5 because he was sick, maybe more, and there was a week where he flat out refused to go to school because they had a sub and she wasn't following his 504 plan (he has asperger's and generalized anxiety) and he was scared to go. I am not going to force my child to go into a situation that is detrimental to his mental health, and I have told the school as much. And now anytime they have a sub i have a VERY hard time getting him to go and/or stay at school, (it would help if his teacher actually wasn't out a TON- she has missed i would say at least 10 days herself) he does that a lot, comes home early because he's "sick" but the school knows him and knows what's going on, no one has said anything about him missing so many days. It helps that he is top of his class in all subjects too I think. He is also going to start missing partial days for ocunseling, because his counselor makes everyone share the school day hours, meaning no one can ALWAYS get after school hours we all have to take turns, and well so be it.

I have already decided if the school gets on my case I am going to pull him out and homeschool. I am already toying with the idea of homeschooling next year, and would have pulled him out this year but i have decided wait for many reasons.

edited to add I think I figured out why the school hasn't said anything, in Maine you aren't compulsory till the age of 7, therefore they can't enfore the rule till June. I think I will be sitting down with them in June to amend the 504 plan - since illness is an excused absense and doesn't count towards the truancy laws I want to add his mental health as part of that since he is diagnosed with anxiety. and our kids can only miss a total of 7 unexcused days. I think that's crap. We had 20 when we were kids

[Tigerchild]

Originally Posted by Llyra

It's an interesting question, actually, especially when DD isn't mandatory age yet (it's 6 here, and she's not 6 yet) and when homeschooling is unregulated like it is here in NJ.

I hate to say it, but I'll bet you a lot that it would depend on the race and economic status of the parents. I, as an educated white parent who actually holds a public school teaching license, would probably be less subject to investigation than somebody poor, uneducated, or from an immigrant or minority group. Horribly unfortunate, and sad, but I really do think that's how it would play out.

I agree with you, even though in WA state the law was changed so that it wouldn't be as discretionary. Virtually all of the folks I know who have been "called in" so to speak over tardies and abscenses have been white, middle-to-upper class, educated folks! But that's who's at the meetings where people are complaining about it, for the most part. Even though it's not supposed to be as discretionary, there is always wiggle room there.

I think though, given the animosity of *some* administrators towards homeschooling, if there was a perception that you were pulling your kids out of a school in response to not wanting to answer questions or because you'd maxed out your truancy limit--then I think a lot of good administrators might call if it was a combative discussion. Some might for a power trip (I wouldn't consider them good administrator), but that would send up HUGE red flags for others (that are good). I have to admit, as much as I support and advocate for public schooling, that would raise a red flag for me as well (because I think there are many abusive white, educated, middle+ class folks who are able to hide behind that status and work the system) if I didn't know the person in question.

[rlandnl]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild

I think though, given the animosity of *some* administrators towards homeschooling, if there was a perception that you were pulling your kids out of a school in response to not wanting to answer questions or because you'd maxed out your truancy limit--then I think a lot of good administrators might call if it was a combative discussion. Some might for a power trip (I wouldn't consider them good administrator), but that would send up HUGE red flags for others (that are good). I have to admit, as much as I support and advocate for public schooling, that would raise a red flag for me as well (because I think there are many abusive white, educated, middle+ class folks who are able to hide behind that status and work the system) if I didn't know the person in question.

I have to comment here since I did bring up pulling him out, the school is well aware of my displeasure towards them, and the fact that they are repeatedly and blatantly disregarding the 504 plan set in place. I have already told them that I am thisclose to homeschooling him since they can't seem to provide him with a free and appropriate education, and that I can and will at any time pull him out and homeschool him in accordance with the state laws. So honestly I don't think that they would be surprised in the least, nor would they pursue it, especially since I have made it perfectly clear in writing every instance that they themselves have broken the law.

[frontstreetmama]

sometimes my kids stay home because they're tired or because we're going somewhere, i.e. I have no problem pulling them out to go to the beach on a beautiful day!! they often miss school to go up to their grandparents for long weekends, last year they missed two weeks for a trip to Florida.

I have never had a problem with the school's admin although they did give me heck the year before for so many lates!!! I agree with that though, it's disruptive to have someone come in late but I had a new baby and it was a LONG adjustment!!! I have had one teacher who had a problem with so many absences but usually when I explain that I believe in the value of life experiences they've been more than willing to work with us if the girls are going to miss something pertinent to their curriculum and mark generation... I think it's important for the girls to have multi-generational experiences and they learn about fishing and baking and sewing and other life skills that school doesn't teach... of course, I am an un-schooler at heart... my kids just like school :S go figure!!!

[aussiemum]

I have always taken my kids out of school to go travelling, the longest was four weeks when we went to France. Recently I took them out for a week to visit family in a different state, although I do think DD suffered a bit that time because she wasn't there to work on a project. But she didn't regret missing school, so i'm okay with that. Their public school has always been very supportive of our adventures, but I do insist that they go to school on days when they just plain don't want to, but aren't sick. DS in particular would love to stay home all day every day, but he's not at all interested in homeschooling (i gave him the option) so as I said to him, he has to learn somewhere.

This year DD moves to a private school for middle school, & one thing that was key to me is that the school is supportive of her taking time off school to travel. She'll miss two weeks this year, at least, when we go back to the US for a visit.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by aussiemum

I have always taken my kids out of school to go travelling, the longest was four weeks when we went to France. Recently I took them out for a week to visit family in a different state, although I do think DD suffered a bit that time because she wasn't there to work on a project. But she didn't regret missing school, so i'm okay with that. Their public school has always been very supportive of our adventures, but I do insist that they go to school on days when they just plain don't want to, but aren't sick. DS in particular would love to stay home all day every day, but he's not at all interested in homeschooling (i gave him the option) so as I said to him, he has to learn somewhere.

This year DD moves to a private school for middle school, & one thing that was key to me is that the school is supportive of her taking time off school to travel. She'll miss two weeks this year, at least, when we go back to the US for a visit.

I honestly think there's a different attitude in Australia about this. Travel is such an integral part of the national character. It seems to be assumed that everyone will move around the globe as much and as often as they can. So there's a tolerance that grows along with this. It's a lovely, wonderful attitude .

[Emmeline II]

I find that disrupting ds' routine isn't worth it. We are taking a family vacation in a couple of months that coincides with the school vacation. The ils are in another district and are coming on the vacation; if the vacation weeks did not line up it would be based on the adult work schedules.

Our district has a "don't come to school withing 24hrs of a fever" rule and I think the vomit rule is just that they should not come the morning of school. Ds just started K and I think has been absent 5-6 times. I've only had a Dr.'s note for one day, though we had documentation for two other absences, along with ds obviously appearing uncomfortable or "off" to the teacher (if their is no fever I usually go with what ds wants to do, and the teacher knows I will pick him up if she thinks [really, the Nurse] it is necessary).

If we write notes the absences are "excused," but with very frequent or strange patterns of absences they will start investigating (not necessarily involving the law; they may start by comparing absences with siblings).

Absences affect school funding, but sick children in school can result in the absences of more students (lost of funding) and even teachers; I think that my district tries to strike a balance. Fortunately, my district realizes that more that 3 absences will not torpedo a years worth of learning and hold a student back.

[kennedy444]

My kids have missed for non-sick days...a lot!

A week in Disney the week before Christmas vacation, extra days for long weekends when visiting family, five day trip to London for ds with his grandmother, last two days of school for dd to go to CA with grandmother, and the list goes on....

I am of the feeling that these trips, visits to family, etc. are all part of educating the person/the child and makes them "whole."

I also give my kids two PHDs (personal health days) each year. I figure that I used to get Personal Days when I worked and everyone just needs a day off once in awhile, ya know?

Usually they miss about 6-10 days of school each year.

For the record, this past November my ds got the swine flu that turned into pneumonia and he missed two full school weeks. The poor guy was SO SICK but he caught himself up the first two weeks back and just took midterms and got all As! So proud of him...and all my kids.

[aussiemum]

Yeah, I agree that the Australian attitude towards school & travel is different to the US. Probably so much so that my opinion here is really quite irrelevant. But i do put it out there to show that there is more than one way to view things. I have to admit that I feel a bit sorry for those who are threatened by law or other consequences when they step out of the school attendance box.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by aussiemum

Yeah, I agree that the Australian attitude towards school & travel is different to the US. Probably so much so that my opinion here is really quite irrelevant. But i do put it out there to show that there is more than one way to view things. I have to admit that I feel a bit sorry for those who are threatened by law or other consequences when they step out of the school attendance box.

Bolding mine. I think it would be great if this attitude was adopted elsewhere in the world - at least a little bit. Thanks for sharing the insight into another view.