DS3 who is 8, nearly 9, had a total meltdown this morning regarding his new coat. He does not have a dx, but his older brother has Aspergers and probably his other older brother too. DS3 has some issues that are on the spectrum but could also be anxiety and SPD instead. He doesn't really meet the criteria for an ASD because he has great social reciprocity and he picks up on the social cues that his brothers miss. But he is very rigid, and he gets overwhelmed and frustrated easily.
Background, he had a down coat that was warm but apparently some girls at school started calling him "Marshmallow Man" (it really isn't that puffy
) and it bothered DS alot so we just bought him a new coat. He wore it for the first time yesterday, but wouldn't wear the inner zip-in layer because it "feels weird". It is polar fleece vs the slick wind-breaker type inner material of his other coat. The girls yesterday called him "Darth Vader" (I guess because the new coat is black and red?) We have discussed at length the best response to teasing but he doesn't seem to be able to do it. I don't believe it is bullying in nature, instead I think the girls like him. DS has always been sort of a hearthrob with the girls at school. In K he would come home with love notes that the girls tucked in his homework box (to his embarrassment) and when I took his baby bro to show and tell last year, one of the girls said the baby was "soooo cute...like Hayden" and blushed and you could almost hear the collective sigh. 
He hates it though. He does not like attention, he does not like people to notice him at all. He is very sensitive to their comments. He often assumes that when kids are looking at him they are thinking something bad.
So this morning he didnt want to wear the "puffy" coat and he didn't want to wear the new coat because it feels weird with the zip-in layer and without that it is cold, and both coats cause the kids to say something to him. He was laying on the floor in full meltdown and refusing to go to school. I got him to sit with me and gave him some deep pressure squeezes/hugs to see if it helped with the "weird" feeling. Its seemed to help some. He finally agreed to walk with DH to school (wearing the new coat with the zip-in). DH told me that he said on the way, "I want to find the hardest object in the world and hit my head on it." He bangs or hits his head when he is upset.
I am filling out his intake packet for his evaluation at a behavioral health clinic, but until then....does anyone have any suggestions? Its like this with every change, new shoes, hair cuts.
Background, he had a down coat that was warm but apparently some girls at school started calling him "Marshmallow Man" (it really isn't that puffy
) and it bothered DS alot so we just bought him a new coat. He wore it for the first time yesterday, but wouldn't wear the inner zip-in layer because it "feels weird". It is polar fleece vs the slick wind-breaker type inner material of his other coat. The girls yesterday called him "Darth Vader" (I guess because the new coat is black and red?) We have discussed at length the best response to teasing but he doesn't seem to be able to do it. I don't believe it is bullying in nature, instead I think the girls like him. DS has always been sort of a hearthrob with the girls at school. In K he would come home with love notes that the girls tucked in his homework box (to his embarrassment) and when I took his baby bro to show and tell last year, one of the girls said the baby was "soooo cute...like Hayden" and blushed and you could almost hear the collective sigh. He hates it though. He does not like attention, he does not like people to notice him at all. He is very sensitive to their comments. He often assumes that when kids are looking at him they are thinking something bad.So this morning he didnt want to wear the "puffy" coat and he didn't want to wear the new coat because it feels weird with the zip-in layer and without that it is cold, and both coats cause the kids to say something to him. He was laying on the floor in full meltdown and refusing to go to school. I got him to sit with me and gave him some deep pressure squeezes/hugs to see if it helped with the "weird" feeling. Its seemed to help some. He finally agreed to walk with DH to school (wearing the new coat with the zip-in). DH told me that he said on the way, "I want to find the hardest object in the world and hit my head on it." He bangs or hits his head when he is upset.
I am filling out his intake packet for his evaluation at a behavioral health clinic, but until then....does anyone have any suggestions? Its like this with every change, new shoes, hair cuts.
