Would you leave your 16 mo DS?

[cdhall26]

I have a 16 mo old DS who is nursing. Usually nurses 1-2 times during night and a few times during day (depends on the day). A few months ago, I was asked to go on a "girl's only" ski trip Jan. 27-31. I said yes & paid my deposit - thinking some "me time" would be wonderful. Well, I wasn't even thinking about my nursling. Now, I am so stressed out about this trip. I don't know what to do. I have never been away from him - not even one night - let alone 4 nights. The trip is a 6 hr car ride, so it is not like I can just "come home," if I need to. I don't know what to do. I hate for my husband to be miserable w/ him for 4 nights. I feel like I would be selfish to go on the trip...Thoughts?

[D_McG]

4 nights seems kind of long to me but I would totally go for 2. maybe 3 if things were going well at home.
it also depends on how you'd feel if he weaned. At that age I'd have been happy if DS weaned. But still 4 night seems like a long time to me. Not selfish or anything. Just that I'd miss my kids.

It's not selfish to take care of yourself!

[lifeguard]

Can you try one night before then to see how it goes? I'm actually looking at a similar thing coming up & my Mom is going to take ds (tonight actually!) to try it out. As long as that goes well I will go on my weekend - otherwise I guess I'll probably cancel.

[Lunesse]

I have the same thing going on right now. A trip to another country, but it means being gone 4 days. Very many time zones away. My guy is 2.25 years old, but I have never been gone more than 8 hours.

I flip flop back and forth. I think if we had done it overnight a few times first, I would feel better. While my son is verbal and such now, he still has no concept of time, 4 days doesn't mean anything and he won't get when I will be back. Plus, leaving him for that long won't be fun (pumping, etc.) and I just am having trouble discerning Mommy guilt from Mommy gut feeling. I'm leaning towards not going, since it is not a trip I HAVE to take, I can do it some other time when he comprehends what is going on better, and I can try shorter trips.

I think for me, this is the "downside" of AP style parenting. But one I will have to take. When I think about not going, I do feel relief, along with sadness at missing the adventure and my far away friends. But following that decision, when I imagine it, doesn't have me up at 2 am worrying and feeling dread about going.

YMMV.