Don't know what to do in the evening

[MeredithK]

My DS is 3 months old. He takes catnaps throughout the day either on me or in his swing. At around 9:30pm, he is asleep for the night...straight until 5 or 6am. Then back to sleep until ~10am.

But, my DH suggested moving baby up to the cosleeper in the early evening to let him sleep by himself. He said this because DS is pretty cranky in the evening and we often struggle to get him to fall asleep.

A big part of me is selfish...I can't imagine DS being upstairs by himself! He's my baby!! Plus, in order for us to respond if he wakes up he is going to need to cry to get our attention. During the night, he doesn't have to cry to nurse because I am a super light sleeper and hear him moving around.

What time should a 3 month old go to sleep? I've just let him lead the way. As it is now, he is getting around 12 hrs sleep at night.

Which is better...upstairs by himself or downstairs with us and noise? We do watch tv at night while DS is sleeping (I feel bad admitting that!)

I'm struggling with what is best for DS. Any advice is appreciated!

[Adallae]

At 3 months, DD had a similar bedtime, between 9 and 9:30pm. We continued to follow her lead, and by 5 months she had moved it up to 7:30pm.

We did - and still do! - the same thing in the evenings. When she falls asleep, we hold her or lay her on the couch and watch TV. A few weeks ago we tried putting her upstairs for a few days, and she did ok, but it was so much more work to have to go up there when she fussed. It also gave her more time to wake up fully, making it harder for her to go back to sleep. So, we're going to keep doing what we're doing until she's consistently sleeping longer stretches. I didn't like leaving her alone in the dark so far away either . Even DH was antsy and kept checking on her, it was so cute.

If it doesn't feel right, just tell your DH that you're not ready to be that far away from your LO!

[Ruthie's momma]

Do what feels right!

DD had a very similar sleep schedule when she was that age. She was 6 or 7 months old when we started putting her to sleep in our bedroom on some nights (versus in the living room...in front of the tube...). At that age, we noticed that the tv was too distracting for her.

If he is having trouble falling asleep with the tv on, but you want to keep him nearby, try turning the tv off until he is asleep. You could go for a walk with him in the stroller or sling and let him drift off. Then, continue to snuggle while you and DH watch tv.

Your little guy has a great sleep schedule! Enjoy the snuggle time...while watching your favorite show...

[Mal85]

Your evening sounds a lot like ours was when DD was that age. At around that age we tried getting her to sleep in her crib earlier in the evening and it did not work out. She didn't like it at all. So for a long time I just held her after she went to sleep and then took her to bed with me. DH and I would just spend that time watching tv together.

She was about 6 or 7 months old when she started to let me lay her down in the evening. By then she had pushed up her bedtime to around 8. This is still what we do now and she still does wake up once or twice before we go to bed.

[BlueWolf]

At 3 months, DD's bed time was about 9-9:30. She now goes to bed between 7-7:30 and sleeps alone until we join her in bed. But I also have a baby that will wake up at 7am no matter what time she goes to bed, so she really needed an earlier bed time.

[Abraisme]

I started putting my DD in the bedroom by herself around 4mo. By 4mo she just slept better in a dark room without any stimulation around. However, our house is small and I can hear her before she cries..

If you're not comfortable having her far away can she sleep in a bouncy chair near you until you're ready for bed?

She went to bed around 10:00pm until 3mo or so, then it changed to around 8:00pm. At 8:00ish I take her into our dark room, swaddle her up and nurse her down.

[boobs4milk]

babies sleep by themselves?!?!?!?! j/k...go with your gut, meredith! oh, and go snuggle with your dh

[cileag]

I find that my October baby also does better in the evenings with us--even if she naps on and off, so I'd stick with that. The only thing that jumped out at me was if she's sleeping 12 hours at night--but only catnaps during the day, is she getting the 14-16 hours needed? Maybe an earlier bedtime, but an earlier wake up time would make time for a morning or early afternoon nap?

[MeredithK]

Thanks everyone. I feel better just hearing that other people do the same thing.

I know I should listen to my gut, but sometimes I think I should try to branch out a little! I tried to tell DH that I wasn't ready yet and his first response was, "Everyone puts their baby in a different room." So, I said, "Yes, and other people have their baby in a hospital with medication, and other people feed their baby formula. But, not us!"

He heard me out after that and admitted that he doesn't exactly know what he's doing either. He just thinks that it's weird to put the baby to sleep in the living room.

Oh well...I'll just do what seems right or at least logical to me. He's just worried that I don't have enough time to do anything else. He's right, but I'm not sure that putting the baby in another room is going to relieve any stress.

[sunshynbaby]

DH or I hold DS and watch TV after he falls asleep between 7-10PM. He goes to bed with me when I am ready to go to bed!

[BlueWolf]

Originally Posted by MeredithK

Thanks everyone. I feel better just hearing that other people do the same thing.

I know I should listen to my gut, but sometimes I think I should try to branch out a little! I tried to tell DH that I wasn't ready yet and his first response was, "Everyone puts their baby in a different room." So, I said, "Yes, and other people have their baby in a hospital with medication, and other people feed their baby formula. But, not us!"

He heard me out after that and admitted that he doesn't exactly know what he's doing either. He just thinks that it's weird to put the baby to sleep in the living room.

Oh well...I'll just do what seems right or at least logical to me. He's just worried that I don't have enough time to do anything else. He's right, but I'm not sure that putting the baby in another room is going to relieve any stress.

All in good time! When you're ready (if ever!) to have your baby in another room to sleep, then that's a good time. DD only sleeps alone for an hour before I'm joining her in bed, but that one hour to myself is so wonderful to have. But it's a recent development.