Is inviting 27 kids to a 4 yo's party insane?

[snoopy5386]

I'm trying to plan my soon to be 4 yo's bday party and our guest list right now is 27 kids and I can't seem to knock it down. 19 of the kids are from the homeschool preschool co-op we attend (students and younger siblings that we see 2-3 times a week) and the rest are other friends from our moms group, we've attended all but two of the other kids bday parties over the past year. Out of the 27 two are infants and four are 1 yo younger siblings. I really want to have her party at our local nature center but they limit the number of kids to 20 including siblings. In our social circle at this point there are no drop off parties - the whole family is invited, which I am fine with, but with adults the party will be close to 60 people including adults so we can't have it at the nature center and will probably end up at the local jumping place.
I don't know what to do - if we invite just the co-op kids we can have it at the nature center, but I feel bad not inviting the other kids.....I'm sure they would all have fun at the jumping place too.......I also feel like I can't count on the possibility of 7 kids RSVPing no so that we can have it at the nature center.....
ideas?

[JL83]

I would NEVER do it.

My sister has done a party that size every year since she had her DD1 who is now 6.

It works for my sister because she has a big house and it's kind of like one huge playdate. She doesn't do games or activities. Presents get opened over the course of the party when kids remember that they brought one. She LOVES that kind of party.

I did my DD's 3rd birthday party with ~10 kids invited including siblings, and that was a nice size for us.

[Althetrainer]

Wow

We come from small families so never had a birthday party that big. Personally I don't think I can handle so many people in a birthday party. But hey, if you can handle it, might as well have a great time! Best of luck with all the preparations. Al

[MtBikeLover]

I would totally do it - especially at the jumpy house place. I always do really big parties and it all works out ok. Plus, if it is at the jump house place, they will usually do everything for you. You just have to show up.

We just had DS's 7th b-day party and there were 22 kids at a laser tag place. Everyone had a blast.

[mlec]

In a word, yes! Crazy!!

I don't think it's a good idea for a 4 y/o. Around here alot of ppl have ginormous parties (like 27 kids) for young children's birthday's and I don't see it as being particularly enjoyable for the birthday child.

I really think the time for a big friend party is age 7 or over....I think a 4 y/o would be happy w/ family and maybe a special friend at a special venue.

[eepster]

I don't know if it's crazy, but I'm right there with you. DS's 4th b-day is in February, and I just booked a local children's museum. When the coordinator asked me how many invites I needed, I did some quick mental math and realized I needed around 25!!! And I'm not even sure how many of DS's preschool classmates have siblings.

[oceanbaby]

At 4yo, ds2 loved jumpies (still does) but absolutely hated being in them with a lot of other kids. It was way too chaotic for him.

I would go with the nature center and just pare it down. It's really okay. My neighbors had a party for their son at a gymnastics place, and with just his preschool friends it maxed out the allowable amount. She invited us and one of his other friends over for dinner that evening instead, but even if she hadn't I would have understood.

I've done big parties (maybe 15-18 kids plus adults), but never that big, and not for that young.

[bjorker]

Geez. I was feeling crazy for inviting 11 kids (plus parents/some family) to our house for my dd's 5th birthday. But! Elsewhere is a little bit different... I think if that's what you want to do, and don't have any ideas about trying to organise much of anything in particular during the party (b/c trying to get that many kids to do anything all together would be a nightmare), then it might be fun. Not inviting the co-op kids, or only inviting the co-op kids, so you can go to the nature center is perfectly acceptable too, IMO. Personally, I would do that option. Me and crazy don't go so well together.

[carfreemama]

We had at least 24 kids (maybe more) in our 1300-sq foot house last year. Almost the same teh year before. Dd will be turning 6 on Feb 28. The parties were just the right side of nuts. We did plan, though. I made pinatas every year and we had some traditional games (no one got "out" though). Plus my friend is in a kids' band and is an excellent entertainer, so he played guitar. The noise level did get deafening, but the kids were great.

I had asked dd who she wanted to invite and she said her whole preschool. I called and asked who she played with and they said "everyone." She's a social little kid and LOVED having everyone there. We had her friends from outside preschool, too.

It works well for us because I HATE excluding people. I never have parties where I invite "just a few friends" and specify who they will be. It's always everyone's welcome, all ages, etc...

I know it's not realistic to do this forever, but for now it's fine. The one thing I will do differently is try to tone down the gifts a bit. Getting that many presents last year was a little embarrassing. I don't want anyone to feel like we're LOOKING for gifts or something. Otherwise, no snags. But we were tired at the end!

[meemee]

go for it!!!!

dont leave anyone out.

my dd has always loved big parties. and the party is more important to her than the gifts. its in summer. we do it at the park. its a picnic potluck. and we have about a mixture of a 100 people.

[Daffodil]

Wow, I assumed everyone would say it's insane. It sounds insane to me. Why not just invite the kids from both groups that your kid is actually pretty good friends with - the ones you know well enough that they've been to your house for playdates? I don't see any need to invite people just because your kid has been invited to their parties.

[busymama77]

I would ONLY do it if it were outside the home. I'm planning DS's 4 year b-day party as well and so far, we have 7 kids attending and this is going to be at our house. I haven't heard from anyone else, so 7, I'm totally cool with.

But yes, 27 - that could not be done at home. Would have to be some place like a jumping place or Chuck E. Cheese's.

[Alyantavid]

Oh wow, I would never ever do that.

We just started friend parties for my oldest on his 7th birthday. And he only had 6 kids and their parents. That was plenty for me.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by busymama77

I haven't heard from anyone else, so 7, I'm totally cool with.

Not having heard from them doesn't mean they aren't planning to come, it just means they haven't gotten around to calling yet.

[snoopy5386]

thanks everyone for your input. I'm still on the fence. At the very least we would do 20 at the nature center (just not sure which 20) so the difference between 20 at the nature center and 27 at the jumping place is not too big. I'll be 9 months pregnant at the time of the party - that is why we are having it out somewhere. Believe it or not these are kids that we socialize with on a regular basis. We have a great and large moms group here and I see these folks all at least once a month if not once a week. And it is not just other kids parties we've been invited to - it is parties we have attended.
For those who have had large parties - how did it go? Did the bday child even know that all the kids were there?

[MtBikeLover]

Originally Posted by snoopy5386

For those who have had large parties - how did it go? Did the bday child even know that all the kids were there?

It's gone great! My DS is very social and he loves having big parties. He felt very sad last year when we had it at home and I didn't have room for everyone in his class plus his friends in the neighborhood so I told him he could only invite the boys. Even then, we had 21 kids in our house. It would have been close to 30 if we had invited the girls - no way I could handle that!

But he definitely knew they were missing.

This year, we had it out somewhere so he could invite the whole class.

[Bug-a-Boo's Mama]

Honestly, yes that really believe that is too many. Can you split it up? Do the mother's group one day and the homeschool co-op another day? The parties don't need to be crazy, cupcakes and snacks along with some toys to play with will thrill them all.

We did a playdate bday party for DS's 4th, his request, and it was wonderful. We also only invited kidlets who are K's friends (along with siblings).

Do you really need to invite them all, meaning does your son really play with all the different children, ask about them, request to play with them? Or do you just feel that you have to invite them all?

[newbymom05]

I wouldn't do it. We have 10-ish 4+ y/o boys in our regular playgroup and we had to start meeting at places other than homes because it got too chaotic.

Another thing I haven't seen mentioned is cost. I don't know whether I'm cheap, or poor, or both, but spending $250+ on a preschool party seems crazy to me. I'd rather spend the money on gifts, or on taking him and a buddy to an amusement park or somethinhg. Heck, for that much I could take several friends!

The few big preschool parties we've been to, the birthday child has had a meltdown from being overwhelmed, and that's both at a home party (sharing toys is hard!) or at a bounce house.

But I also agree w/ what everyone else has said--if it doesn't bother you and you thihnk your child will enjoy it, go for it.

[rzberrymom]

Holy cow, yes!! We had 4 kids at my DD's 4th birthday, and there was total chaos!

[zeldamomma]

Could you have the Nature Center party for the coop kids, and then have a special birthday playdate for the Mom's group friends?

If not, I'd just leave the Mom's group friends out. Its the least hurtful solution, and 27 kids is too many for a 4 y.o.s party-- you won't be able to talk to everyone, and there will be way way way too many presents.