I have never posted anything in a forum before but I thought I should try today. My 4-year-old son is autistic. I have never said that before...first time...so I am balling of course as I write this. He has only been evaluated by a school psychologist so far that stated that according to the DSMIV he is autistic, but on the CARS, he is a 27.5...so not quite but almost. I have been holding onto that "not quite" for a while now just wanting that to be the case...but I know it isn't entirely true. And though I am having him looked at by a developmental ped, having an ADOS conducted, and having him reevaluated by the IU, I know in my heart that he is on the spectrum. He does have great days/weeks where I just think I'm nuts for worrying so much about him...he is sweet, patient, plays well with his friends (as long as there is only 1 or 2) and is able to adapt with only a little bit of prompting or none at all. But this week has been hard. He is hyperactive, repeating a lot, having a lot of trouble answering questions, having small outbursts, etc. Today was one of my harder days though. We were on the playground at his pre-school after school and some of the boys were there playing...some from his class and some older siblings. They were all involved in some form of imaginative play together. My son was oblivious to the scenario they had created. It was clear to me that none of them were playing with him, but as the boys ran around together, my son was convinced they were playing tag with him. At one point he had said something to one of the boys about tag and the other just responded "that isn't the game I am playing". My son wasn't sad of course, just me. He was in his own world. In fact he didn't want to leave. He told me in one way or another through his broken speech that he just wanted to stay there because that is where everyone was at. I am just afraid. At this age, he is able to blend pretty easily, but I am so scared about the future. I just don't know how to even start dealing with what I am feeling let alone accepting it. This is just my first attempt at trying to get myself a little help...because some days, like right now, I really feel like I am losing it.
post #1 of 19
1/14/10 at 12:50am