What do you do when you think they aren't really "that" sick? - Page 2

[octobermom]

my 7 year old is just growing out of the I can obviously tell she is sick stage... Its rare for her to "pretend" but it occasional happens.
Day one I don't take any chances I keep her in too many times her seemilgly "fake" illiness fast becomes very real not everyone will run a fever or vomit and can still feel crappy..
Day two and upon observing behavior to day before I'll eaither declare it real or say time to go back I wont tell her goto the nurse if you feel bad because I know shes will and thankfully at her age and grade level they will automatically call me and we can then decide the best next step.

Deanna

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

If my kids are too sick to go to school, they are too sick to do anything but stay in bed all day. No tv, no computer, no friends, no after school activities. Books are allowed.

They don't fake.

Do you have a partner that can take the second day? A neighbour/friend whose sofa you could borrow?

Similiar here except truly sick I do allow TV.. I can pretty easily tell the "fake" from real though real shes sticks to bed even if shes hs sputs of wanting to be up and playing she winds down fast and naps a lot REALLY sick and she is stuck in bed. I allow TV if really sick because I know for me somethings jsut the "noise" helps distract me from say a massively sore throat or the imability to breath Books just make me sicker as I ussally can't focus enough to actually read. and they jsut give me massive migranines.

Deanna

[pomplemoose]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

If my kids are too sick to go to school, they are too sick to do anything but stay in bed all day. No tv, no computer, no friends, no after school activities. Books are allowed.

They don't fake.

I don't do this, when I'm really sick I can't focus on reading. Sometimes I just want to lay around and watch a movie. Luckily our occasional daycare lady is very flexible and lets them come as long as there's no vomiting, but usually DP or I stay home. We all got the flu this year so there was like a month of on off illness and I don't like to assume my kids are faking. Besides they know that if they really need an extra day off they can just ask. Im not against missing school every now and then, and not having to feel like death to do it.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

We are working on several fronts to make school more pleasant and him more resilient to normal childhood stress. Its a small private school, so no nurse, social worker or other resources.

i recall from my own childhood what made school more pleasant was the afterschool activities. i remember i couldnt wait for school to be out to run home and do all the stuff i have to do.

the same thing works for dd now i noticed. we usually have something planned at least two times a week - play dates or ice skating or movie or even just picnic at the park. makes a huge difference to her. she somehow tolerates school and cant wait to go do the stuff we have lined up to do.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

I don't think he's actually "faking" in that he's flat out lying about vomiting.

I think there is a difference between *faking* and feeling a little under the weather. The grey area is when a child is a little under the weather but plays it up because they would just rather not go to school.

Anyway, update -- he went to school today feeling much better about the world. Of course, the fact that we are going whale watching today after school with DD's Brownie troop probably helped.

After school activities help a lot! Activities at school are esp. nice because the child can only go if they spent the day (or at least the afternoon) at school.

We are working on several fronts to make school more pleasant and him more resilient to normal childhood stress. Its a small private school, so no nurse, social worker or other resources.

its too bad there aren't other resources, but it GREAT that you are working on the root problem.

[Purple*Lotus]

This brings back fond memories of my Mom. She is very hard core I asked her just now what she used to tell me when I said I was too sick for school. Her answer "When the nuese has to call me because you are carried out of there on a stretcher, you are allowed to come home." I remember that. Of course she was only teasing, but it is a funny memory that I have had all these years

[Momily]

Originally Posted by Mrsboyko

There is a differance between a Day Care (where I have hear the 24 hr rule enforced) and a real elementary + school. They can't say that your kid can't be in school today because they had a fever yesterday monring in "real" school.

.

Sure they can. Where I live that's the health department's policy. If I send your child home today with a fever and they come in tomorrow they go straight to the nurse and you're called to pick them up. I teach in a public elementary school.

[wytchywoman]

Originally Posted by Mrsboyko

There is a differance between a Day Care (where I have hear the 24 hr rule enforced) and a real elementary + school. They can't say that your kid can't be in school today because they had a fever yesterday monring in "real" school.
.

Actually, yes they can. I'm a teacher and our district policy is fever free for at least 24 hours with no medication.Same thing with vomiting and runny tummies. As for colds and flus, that depends on if there is a fever present, how out of control the coughing and sneezing is, and can this child cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze and then wash their hands independently. I've sent kids home over a plain old cold, but then again I work in special ed and my students will think of nothing of crawling over to you and sneezing in your face. They also mouth every object in the room. SO I'm a stickler about my sick students staying at home until they are no longer contagious.
OP...how well do you think your DS is going to learn given the state he is in? You alone can determine that. If he isn't vomiting but is still really wiped out, then an extra day of rest would probably do him some good and will help prevent a relapse.

[Conifer]

Here's the thing, the vast majority of adults I know, if they're vomiting, will make such noises as, "Arrrgh!!" and "Oh, god, oh, god," "I hate being sick!" etc. My experience with children who have been sick is that they're just as loud about it. I don't see how it's possible to know someone didn't get sick. If nothing else, the bathroom would likely smell like sick.

I know my kids are very sick when they are very quiet...not loud! lol

In any case. I keep my kids home whenever I feel like they would be better here than at school. This includes mentally, emotionally and physically. School is hard enough when your well...let alone when you are not feeling good. If it became a habit, I would examine the cause. There is no reason for my kids to fake because they know they don't have to in order to stay home. In general they only miss a few days a year anyway.

[hermionesmum]

If I'm not convinced mine are properly ill I make sympathetic noises, tell them to tell a teacher to call me if they feel really rough, but I think they ought to give school a go.

I'd want to talk over why they are trying to get out of school/having stress-induced symptoms, if I thought that were what was going on, and try and help them tell the difference.