potty training advice

[kristencarder]

hi all, i'm new to mdc and thankful for the great resources that i've already found here. i'd really appreicate some advice on potty training:

i have 19-m/o ds and am 29 weeks prego with baby #2. i am curious as to whether or not i should start potty training ds...? he is showing some signs of interest (asking to sit on the potty occasionally, and telling me when he is going poop in his diaper). i have less than 3 months before the new one arrives, and i don't know if it's worth it to invest in potty time now (and risk a potential relapse when the baby arrives), or if i should put it off until the post-partum period is over with #2? that would put ds right about 2-y/o.

any of you have experience and advice you can lend?

thanks so much!

[Xerxella]

I think for most people potty training (potty learning, whatever) is a long term process. It's like saying, "Should I teach my child manners today or should I put that part of their education off until x." It's actually a long term process. You kinda start potty training from pretty early on. Heck, you probably already are potty training! Does DS go with you to the potty? Does he ask questions about it? Do you talk about the mess in his diapers? Do you read books about the potty? Watch Elmo go potty on sesame street? Play with the stuffed animals going potty? It's just part of life that he'll eventually learn, like eating with a spoon or drinking out of a cup.

Just give him the option. Make repeated offers. Talk about it. Maybe throw in the big boy card (when you're a big boy and go potty in the potty all these great things will happen). I mean, what else is there to do? Pull ups are just diapers put on in a different way. Threats, force or punishment are obviously out of the question. So, you just present it and stand back. Things happen when they happen.

P.S. FWIW, before DD was born I started talking about how diapers were for babies and that some day when DS was a big boy he'd go potty in the potty like daddy. Not today, but someday. He was 29 months when he said, "Mommy, I go potty in the potty right NOW." And, he never looked back.

[Grace and Granola]

I think potty training can be a very fast process if the child is ready. It can be a very long process if the child is not ready. My boys are 17 months apart, so I had to think about what was the best time for us too. I did NOT want to be in the bathroom alot with a tiny baby strapped to me, or with a crawling baby all over the icky bathroom floor!

We ended up trying when ds1 turned 2 because he seemed a little interested (and everybody said 2 was the magic age). But he was NOT ready. We put the potty away and tried again at 2 1/2. He was ready, and it took a total of about two weeks of being at home alot and racing to the bathroom,etc. before we he was fully trained, and he never looked back.

For DS2, because he had an older brother using the potty right in front of him, he started using the potty sporadically before age 2. He even used it consistently at bedtime before age 2. But he was not ready for full potty training, and it turned into this 6 month long ordeal because he wouldn't consistently go but sometimes he would. Any time he had a diaper on he would pee in it, but would be fine if nakey. That meant that he was trained at home but not away from home, it was all really confusing to him and to me! I wouldn't recommend this method! But then at age 2 1/2, again! He was just ready and decided he was done with diapers and we were done.

I think 19 months is very young, though not unheard of, so I would not expect it to be a fast process at this age. IMHO, if you want to give it a try, make it a short trial period. If it doesn't fly, put it away for a while and try again later.

And welcome to MDC!

[kristencarder]

thank you so much for your responses!

i really appreciate your perspective of 'potty training in every day life'...that is great! ds does go to the potty with me and asks q's and points and stuff, and i see that that is a part of his training. i am also coming to grips with the fact that it's not really up to me when ds is potty trained...it's just the same with everything else about him. i can make him food, but i can't make him eat. i can put him down for a nap, but i can't make him sleep. for me, this is the most frustrating part about parenting. but knowing in advance that i need to let this go will hopefully save us some aggravation!

i will continue to sit him on the potty when he asks, and maybe even give the real deal a try for a few weeks, but i will hold the idea of a potty-trained toddler loosly!