Transitioning from nap to "quiet time"?

[Corinnabis]

My 3.5yo DD has been a sometimes napper for about 4 months now. Some days she refuses to nap and falls asleep later in the afternoon/evening, sometimes stays away until 8:00 bedtime, and sometimes takes up to a 2.5 hour nap. (napping maybe every third day)

We've kept the pre-nap routine of books & songs and loosened up on the rules a bit (quiet talking and singing in bed are okay), but she's majorly pushing the boundaries these days. Loud singing, jumping on the bed, defiant attitude, screaming, hitting, etc.

We want to keep the "quiet time" (especially since I'm 30 wks pregnant and usually want a rest too) because she seems to need it and is very cranky without a nap. But, I'm starting to wonder if we just have unrealistic expectations or can be handling the situation better.

What have other people done to ease the transition? Has anyone kept a "quiet time" routine even with older kids?

[lovesea]

Just as I'd got my 1 year old napping at the same time as my 3 and a half year old, the 3 and a half year old decided he wasn't napping anymore. What I did was tell him that if he didn't want to sleep, he still had to be quiet because dd was sleeping. He is a real music lover, so I put some soft music on in the living room and he just sat and listened to it while I put dd to sleep. More often than not by the time dd was asleep he'd crashed out too.

[arniflora]

When ds transitioned, I kept the same basic pre-nap routine as the new pre-quiet time routine. I also still pulled down the shades and drew the curtains, just kept on a soft lamp. Enough light to play, but also dark enough to sleep He was still in his room with the door closed. This lasted for a few months but then I gradually had to accept that he just wasn't napping anymore. I had to adjust my time. When he wasn't confined to his room anymore, I still kept it as "quiet" time, and helped him understand that mommy needed this quiet time, too. That is still respected to this day (2 years later).

[pianojazzgirl]

Oh wow, if I could have gotten dd to do even "quiet time" until she was 3.5 I would have counted that as a major success! I think you've done pretty good mama!

Even my ds, who is only 2 and a few months, has pretty much done away with naps, and there ain't no way I'm getting him to rest quietly in bed for any period of time during the day. The best I can do is "active" rest time, which is what it sounds like you're already doing - snuggling, stories, songs etc.

What we did with dd was have a battle of wills over napping (or staying quietly in bed) for several months, before I realized that it just wasn't worth it, and we just did away with the idea completely. Some days she would obviously be tired and then I'd go through the nap routine, but on other days I'd just let her stay up. With ds I find I've been much less attached to having that nap time as "me time" for some reason, and therefore I've been much less interested in enforcing any kind of stay in bed quiet time, though for his own sake I do create down time throughout the day in the form of snuggling and reading or what have you.

At any rate I wish you luck. I know my own mom did "quiet time" with me for years and I never fought it. I guess every kid has their own personality, iykwim.

[RoViMama]

We still have quiet time for our 3.5 DD. She doesn't have to sleep but she does have to stay in her room. She can play or sing or whatever but she has to stay in her room. Most time she does not go to sleep the down time is good for her. She understands that quiet time is over when the timer goes off. Typically about an hour unless she falls asleep, then I quietly turn off the timer and let her sleep. There is def a difference in sleep depending on whether or not she has had a chance to get some energy out earlier in the day.
Sue

[Autumn Breeze]

When my son was 3.5 almost 4 and I was quite pregnant (baby born 13 days before brother turned 4) I decided when he wouldn't stay in his room long enough for me to even fall asleep, that we'd change things around. We cuddled on the sofa and "watched" a movie. I usually slept, he wouldn't, but he also wouldn't get up. We had done that in the beginning of my pg in the morning (when I felt the most sick) we watched PBS while I sat there with my eyes closed hoping not to vomit. Whatever, it worked because I would 'wake up' when I felt him move or get off the sofa.

[freestyler]

When I was in that situation (and we have five kids, so I know where you're at!), I would just enforce my OWN quiet time. I would tell my kids that Mommy had to lie down and they were welcome to play quietly. I made sure to lie down where I could actively hear them, too, even though I generally fell asleep.

I didn't expect my little ones to nap if they were past that, but I did expect them to play quietly and they were good at respecting that. I think the times that I could NOT rest I was such a bear that the kids liked me MUCH better rested.

My kids would read, lie down with books, build forts, play store, and other things like that. We are totally screen-free here (except for the laptop which only DH and I rarely use), so movies were not an option. But movies could be an option for you, if you don't mind that your child is having a lot of screen time.