So, about Barbie... - Page 2

[cjcolorado]

Originally Posted by waiflywaif

I'm not a Barbie fan either. But when you use a gym daycare you kind of take what you get or you don't go. For a regular daycare or nanny you try to find some alignment between your ideals and beliefs, but 90 minutes on an occasional basis? Yeah, pretty much impossible to get everything you want. I don't think it's possible to shelter a child so much that she never even sees or touches a Barbie doll. You still have control over what toys are in your house, right?

Frankly, I wouldn't write a letter. I can't imagine receiving such a letter, if I were the director of a drop-in daycare like at the Y.

[limabean]

I wouldn't write a letter over this. You know there are Barbies there -- with that information, you can choose whether or not you wish to continue sending your DD to that daycare.

[3*is*magic]

Originally Posted by umsami

Or, is it possible that you could offer to donate some toys/art supplies (or even bring in a bag of stuff with you and DD) to the Y? Maybe some child-friendly books on body image or something?

This. I am guessing the Y doesn't have a huge toy budget and they stock toys that have wide appeal with kids. If you have an issue with Barbie, I'd offer to replace her with a doll you find non-offensive but comparable.

IMO, however, you get what you get at the Y daycare. If you're happy with the care your child is receiving, I'd not fight over Barbie. Throughout life your child will be exposed to many, many things that are not a reflection of your family's values. Consider this an opportunity to open the lines of communication with your daughter about what kind of toys you are and are not willing to invest in.

[*bejeweled*]

Originally Posted by mamazee

You can't control everything your child comes into contact with. I'd let this go.

[uumomma]

i had and loved my barbie. i did not have the barbie town house and i still am mad about it! lol

i write this to say, that i am crunchie and green. i buy my kids wood toys but they are watching batman right now on tv whilst the chicken from costco heats in the oven.

i think moderation is the key here. i can not pinky swear that your child will grow up with an eating disorder cuz she played with barbie a cuppla time a week at the gym daycare, but i can prolly guess that no, she wont.
let her play.

it will be ok.

[TulsiLeaf]

you have two options.


Take the kid out of the day care

grin and bear it


The YMCA is under no obligation to adher to one persons rather outlandish request. And although I do agree on your stance, your request is a bit outlandish. You are expecting to be treated special and tailor the daycare to your needs. not all people think like us on here and not all people think Barbie is bad. That is the real world. So either suck it up or pull her out.

[karne]

Originally Posted by TulsiLeaf

you have two options.


Take the kid out of the day care

grin and bear it

Actually, a third option would be to pack you child w/ a bag of approved wooden toys, etc. and send the child w/those toys. You could tell your child not to play with anything else except the toys from home.

[mimim]

I feel that Barbie is an icon of American consumerism and sexism. My kids have enough pressure on them from the media and people around us to believe that women's value is based disproportionately on how they look. I try to minimize that pressure if I possibly can.

Writing a letter is a good thing. The more we talk about these issues, the harder it gets to trivialize their effects. I know I can't keep my kids away from it completely, so I talk about it with them when it comes up.

[homemademomma]

Originally Posted by karne

Actually, a third option would be to pack you child w/ a bag of approved wooden toys, etc. and send the child w/those toys. You could tell your child not to play with anything else except the toys from home.

you are being facetious, right??

I am not a big fan of Barbie, but you just can't control the things that your child is exposed to outside of your house. Yes, you could get Barbies banned from the Y. That might even be a good thing. But what will you do when your child goes to a friend's house? IMO all we can do as parents is to model values for our children by the way we choose to live our lives. We can't be a gatekeeper for them forever.

[TulsiLeaf]

Originally Posted by karne

Actually, a third option would be to pack you child w/ a bag of approved wooden toys, etc. and send the child w/those toys. You could tell your child not to play with anything else except the toys from home.

Ohhhh that's rich!

[zeldamomma]

Originally Posted by karne

Actually, a third option would be to pack you child w/ a bag of approved wooden toys, etc. and send the child w/those toys. You could tell your child not to play with anything else except the toys from home.

That is not an option at our Y. They don't allow kids to bring toys from home. I think it's because they can't be sure that the toys people bring in are safe, and it would be too much trouble to keep track of which kid brought which toy.

ZM

[eepster]

I'd write a heart felt nice letter to the daycare director about how you felt. I'd talk about how you feel the Barbies are distracting kids from the wonderful crafts and exercise offered, and the type of image Barbie represents, etc.

I wouldn't get all up in arms, or bent out of shape, but if everyone just took the attitude that everyone else must love the Barbies than even if no one really likes them they would stay. There is much to be said for speaking up against the status quo.

Then once you've said your piece, I'd let it go. It is annoying, but it is also inevitable. As our babies get older, it gets harder and harder to control what they get exposed to. If it's not the Barbies at the Y, than it's the video game at Wegmans or the Thomas train table at Barnes & Noble or their friends house.

[LynnS6]

I'd have faith that my home values will trump an hour or two of Barbie a week.

I really dislike Barbie. I don't like the image, I don't like the toys, I don't like the clothes, I don't like the fact that the little shoes always get lost and I think they are boring. That being said, I wouldn't ban Barbie in our house. (Thankfully, dd doesn't care for Barbie, so it's a non-issue.)

[buttercups.nest]

Originally Posted by eepster

I'd write a heart felt nice letter to the daycare director about how you felt. I'd talk about how you feel the Barbies are distracting kids from the wonderful crafts and exercise offered, and the type of image Barbie represents, etc.

I wouldn't get all up in arms, or bent out of shape, but if everyone just took the attitude that everyone else must love the Barbies than even if no one really likes them they would stay. There is much to be said for speaking up against the status quo.

Then once you've said your piece, I'd let it go. It is annoying, but it is also inevitable. As our babies get older, it gets harder and harder to control what they get exposed to. If it's not the Barbies at the Y, than it's the video game at Wegmans or the Thomas train table at Barnes & Noble or their friends house.

I have to agree...I know its incredibly frustrating but there's only so much we can do. If we are so serious about limiting what our kids are exposed to we will drive ourselves nuts.

When I first read the original post I thought of a Christian family who shelters their children from the realities of life. I realize that Barbies aren't on the same level as drinking and drugs, but what will happen if you shelter your daughter from everything you feel is bad then like another poster mentioned, she will latch onto it the first chance she gets.

I would also encourage you to look at why you don't like Barbie. Is it the image she portrays? What if your daughter really enjoyed playing with the Barbies? Is there another Barbie type doll you can buy her that gives a more positive image but still allows her the pretend play?

[JayGee]

I was not allowed Barbies growing up. But when I went to play at my cousins or my friends' houses (all of whom had Barbies), my mother didn't call ahead and say, "Please put your child's Barbies away while my daughter is visiting." You can control what happens in your home, but your child will come in contact with things you don't approve of. Honestly, playing with Barbie a couple of times a week for an hour or two didn't make me wish I was 8 ft. tall with enormous.... well, you understand .

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

I'd have faith that my home values will trump an hour or two of Barbie a week.

You think Barbie is evil, but a lot of other families just think Barbie is fun. If you have them removed, someone else will be upset. The Y can't please everyone. Maybe it just isn't a good match for your family.

[Hoopin' Mama]

I don't belong to the Y, so I don't know how your letter will be received. A nice letter explaining how you feel is fine, but I wouldn't necessarily expect compliance.

I don't love the daycare at my fitness club, so I don't use it. I miss out on the bellydancing classes and the postural fitness classes because of it, but oh well.

[Autumn Breeze]

I have to say, I have a personal dislike of Barbie, even though I probably had 20 of my own, I had the corvette the horse, the news stand, no house though. I LOVED my Barbies when I was younger.

I dislike them now because I do worry a little that it may bring out something, somewhere down the line. But honestly, as a PP said, you have to trust that the values YOU teach your child are FAR stronger than the little time spent with Barbie. Because when she's 5 or 8 and goes to her friends house, chances are she's going to encounter a Barbie.

You know something else. NONE of my Barbies were EVER "Super Models" They were all moms, and had jobs. Just like my mommy, they didn't 'need a man'. (my mother was divorced when I was 'barbie age')

And MUCH to my dismay, my 4 yr old has three of her own Barbies. She might play with them once a month....and that's only if she is playing with her doll house (not Barbie, but a large plastic hand-me-down that fits not only barbies but stuffed animals too

I guess this is just a battle I wouldn't pick, and would instead focus my passion and energy on instilling a strong sense of value, self-worth, and self love in my daughter.

[HollyBearsMom]

Seriously? You are going to right a letter that about the toys your daughter played with in a private chid care center that you personally chose to place her??

I say shame on you for not inspecting the place first to make sure that the values of the child care center were in line with yours. Even the most cursory inspection and an interview with the providers would have told you that there were Barbies (or any other toy of which you don't approve) available for play. How hard would it have been to have asked in advance? How hard would it have been to take 5 minutes to tour the center and look at the toys available for play?

If you are going to choose to leave your child in someones elses care then it is *your* responsibility to make sure that the care meets your level of demand. To just frop your child off with out any research is unfathomable to me. If you feel Barbies are "dangerous" then you should be doing your due diligence.

I have no issues with dolls in general but even so I really liked this post:

I'd have faith that my home values will trump an hour or two of Barbie a week.

Have a little faith in your child or do some research next time.

[edensmama]

I feel the same way you do about Barbie. I have a spouse of a relative that buys dd Bratz dolls every year for Christmas, and I end up giving them to a toy drive. I would talk to your dd about the Barbie and expalin that iit is make believe and although it may be fun to play with her at daycare it's really not an appropriate toy. Our kids have mostly wooden, educational, natural toys as well, most of their friends do as well so I don't have to worry about that so much. My dd knows that Barbie, Bratz etc are not very good toys to play with so she doesn't ask or play with them willingly. Good Luck!