Hi I am a posting newbie here 
and I am in need of some help!
As a quick intro, I am an extended bf, co-sleepin', babywearing, and try my best at gentle discipline (in the non-punitive sense) kinda momma with my wonderful dh. DD#1 turned 2 in Dec, and DD#2 is now 3mos. I am tandem breastfeeding, and this is partly where my night time issues lie (although I think this problem belongs more on this board?)
I night weaned DD#1 during my pg with DD#2 as #1 was an all night constant nurser (who needs a soother when you have mom - Hah!). DD#1 also decided about 3 weeks after DD#2 was born that she wanted to sleep in her own room (!!!), she migrates back to our room every night btw mdn-4am - none of us mind this at all. She knows that we have our first nursing session in the morning when DH alarm goes off (~6am, at that point I can roll over and nurse Liv, and DH can take DD#2).
However, DD routinely asks to nurse well before the alarm clock, and then when I say "we wait for Daddy's alarm clock", or 'it's not time yet' or some variation. The negative answer always leads to crying, shrieking, and general mayhem in the bed. Occasionally she'll settle with cuddles, which is essentially me wrapping my arms around her and then slipping away once she's back asleep to curl back around DD#2.
Problems arise when the 3month old wants to nurse before Liv is completely asleep, or if it is closer to 'wake-up' time, then mayhem continues until everyone is wide awake. She will only settle if I console her -indefinitely. I even resorted to telling her the other night that if she started to scream Dad was going to take her in to the other room, because it was night time, and we are ALL tired, and if that screaming because she is disapointed/mad we didn't want to hear it. It didn't feel like the right thing at all, but I am sick of having all of us woken up in such a jarring way. It didn't help, and then because she was being separated from me she started screaming even louder.
I am kind of at a loss to figure out how to deal with this. DD's tired and wants to sleep, I do not want to return to night time nursing, because it turns into extended nursing sessions with my poor DD#2 either relegated to the bassinet by our bed, or sleeping against my back with me afraid that she'll wedge herself somehow and suffocate. I know it's not safe falling asleep with DD#2 wedged in my back.
I know that what we are doing currently is not working. I think part of my frustrations also are that I think DD#2 should be able to benefit from cuddles with Mommy, and not have to wait to nurse.
Do you think it's reasonable to have DH take DD#1 into the other room until she settles - and then she can come back to cuddle/nurse whatever is appropriate at that time?
Please help, I am interested in any suggestions ppl have to offer, how can I curb the shrieking, and have us ALL get more sleep!
I am now going to head off to bed - let's hope it's a good night
A very tired West Coast Momma
and I am in need of some help!As a quick intro, I am an extended bf, co-sleepin', babywearing, and try my best at gentle discipline (in the non-punitive sense) kinda momma with my wonderful dh. DD#1 turned 2 in Dec, and DD#2 is now 3mos. I am tandem breastfeeding, and this is partly where my night time issues lie (although I think this problem belongs more on this board?)
I night weaned DD#1 during my pg with DD#2 as #1 was an all night constant nurser (who needs a soother when you have mom - Hah!). DD#1 also decided about 3 weeks after DD#2 was born that she wanted to sleep in her own room (!!!), she migrates back to our room every night btw mdn-4am - none of us mind this at all. She knows that we have our first nursing session in the morning when DH alarm goes off (~6am, at that point I can roll over and nurse Liv, and DH can take DD#2).
However, DD routinely asks to nurse well before the alarm clock, and then when I say "we wait for Daddy's alarm clock", or 'it's not time yet' or some variation. The negative answer always leads to crying, shrieking, and general mayhem in the bed. Occasionally she'll settle with cuddles, which is essentially me wrapping my arms around her and then slipping away once she's back asleep to curl back around DD#2.
Problems arise when the 3month old wants to nurse before Liv is completely asleep, or if it is closer to 'wake-up' time, then mayhem continues until everyone is wide awake. She will only settle if I console her -indefinitely. I even resorted to telling her the other night that if she started to scream Dad was going to take her in to the other room, because it was night time, and we are ALL tired, and if that screaming because she is disapointed/mad we didn't want to hear it. It didn't feel like the right thing at all, but I am sick of having all of us woken up in such a jarring way. It didn't help, and then because she was being separated from me she started screaming even louder.
I am kind of at a loss to figure out how to deal with this. DD's tired and wants to sleep, I do not want to return to night time nursing, because it turns into extended nursing sessions with my poor DD#2 either relegated to the bassinet by our bed, or sleeping against my back with me afraid that she'll wedge herself somehow and suffocate. I know it's not safe falling asleep with DD#2 wedged in my back.
I know that what we are doing currently is not working. I think part of my frustrations also are that I think DD#2 should be able to benefit from cuddles with Mommy, and not have to wait to nurse.
Do you think it's reasonable to have DH take DD#1 into the other room until she settles - and then she can come back to cuddle/nurse whatever is appropriate at that time?
Please help, I am interested in any suggestions ppl have to offer, how can I curb the shrieking, and have us ALL get more sleep!
I am now going to head off to bed - let's hope it's a good night
A very tired West Coast Momma
