used to sleep through the night, now no more, marriage suffering - Page 2

[AmyKT]

I've not read all the replies, but I wanted to update my situation. Calgal, we ended doing what you did and got DD a full mattress. We just placed it flat on the floor. I lay with her until she sleeps (abt 5-10 mins) and then slip away (unless I fall asleep, too). It's only been a few nights so far, but sometimes she sleeps straight through, and sometimes she wakes and wants a co-sleeper. I'm hoping that she will grow more comfortable sleeping alone, mainly because with a new baby coming up, we're going to be otherwise occupied at night, but we'll deal with it.

zomigi -- my DD went through a long phase where co-sleeping didn't work, but now she wants it again. Ah, changes.

I hope you find something that works for you.

[calgal1111]

Good to hear AmyKT I hope it works for you. It will get better DD sleeps through the night and only wakes up around 5 or 6am and that isn't even all the time. I actually forgot what a good nights sleep felt like. It takes patience on your part and the nice thing is if you do fall asleep it is ok because you still get sleep.

Also it may be helpful to have your DH help if you can with putting down DD and the early waking. We started this because we are trying to have our next baby and I don't want daddy helping with sleep things to be a new thing when the baby does come.

But Congrats on your upcoming bundle of joy. I truly hope this helps!

[zomigi]

Originally Posted by To-Fu

I know you don't need convincing, but maybe you could remind your husband that CIO isn't the magical solution that works where all other methods fail. Everyone I know who has tried it has had to do it over and over again and it has been distressing and traumatic for both the parents and the baby. I know you know this. But maybe your husband doesn't?

I don't think it would do much good for me to tell him this, because every person *he* knows who has tried it *does* say it's a magical solution that you only have to do once. I know they are probably not telling the full story (not intentionally lying, just forgetting about all the times they've had to re-train), but that doesn't matter -- DH hears that it always works and works fast, so of course that's attractive to him.

But, things are still going a little better at night, so for now, the CIO "discussion" (read: argument) has ended. The last few days, DD has been hard to get to sleep initially, but slept pretty well through the rest of the night. This is the opposite of her normal thing, but if I have to have sleep struggles with her, I'll gladly take them at 8 pm instead of 1 am!

One other thing I wanted to mention that DD sometimes does at night when she's having trouble sleeping: she kicks her legs. She sleeps on her stomach, and often when DH or I is standing by her crib with our hands resting on her back, waiting for her to go to sleep, she'll bend her legs up at the knees and violently kick them back down on the mattress, over and over. I'm wondering if this is a sign that she has some excess energy she didn't get out during the day?

[Maluhia]

excess energy or gas/reflux?

[rzberrymom]

Originally Posted by zomigi

One other thing I wanted to mention that DD sometimes does at night when she's having trouble sleeping: she kicks her legs. She sleeps on her stomach, and often when DH or I is standing by her crib with our hands resting on her back, waiting for her to go to sleep, she'll bend her legs up at the knees and violently kick them back down on the mattress, over and over. I'm wondering if this is a sign that she has some excess energy she didn't get out during the day?

My DD does this when she has to pee (and she has real trouble getting to sleep when she has to pee). When she does this you could try opening her diaper to see if she'll go--we put my DD over a little potty after nursing and before bedtime to help her drift off to sleep peacefully.

[Punchy Kaby]

Originally Posted by zomigi

Thanks everyone.

I guess the issue is that I don't need convincing, my DH does, and I'm not sure how. I could just give up and tell him, fine, you sleep, I'll just do all the night wakings (which lots of moms do anyway, I've found, scarily). But I'm not sure I can handle it physically. I need help during the night. DH is not a horrible person and never wanted to do CIO either. But he's just tired out, literally and figuratively.

DD co-slept with us for the first few months, but then she got to a point where she wouldn't go to sleep with us anymore. She just wanted to play. Sometimes if you get her deep asleep while holding her in the chair, you can then move to the bed and carefully lay down with her and she'll stay asleep. But she usually wakes up and starts playing around. She almost never falls asleep to begin with while laying down with us. So I don't think co-sleeping -- either with her in our bed or with me on a mattress with her in her room -- will work for her. She wants to be held with me/DH sitting up, not cuddled next to us laying down. I don't know what the difference is, but apparently there is one to her. :-)

I could have written this post. My DD is only 8 months, I foresee lots of challenges because she is already like this.

I got my DH to read the info on CIO in the sticky on this board and it was convincing enough that he agreed it was not the best solution.

[zomigi]

Re: reflux. I've been wondering about this. She had some problems with reflux and took medicine when she was really little. In the last couple weeks, there have been a few occasions where she's spit up or vomited. They've usually been preceded by really jostling her around (rolling her around on the floor, chasing her around the couch), so we've thought that was the cause. There have also been a few times where she's made a spit-up or throw-up sound, but nothing has come out. But this I've thought is due to the mucus in her throat from her recent runny nose.

We took her to the doctor on Saturday because of this runny nose and cough, and we mentioned our suspicions about reflux coming back, and I don't think the doctor replied to that at all.

Re: having to pee. That's really funny! I guess I could try it some time.