4th day of EC - getting frustrated, feeling hopeless, please help

[lichen.r]

We just started at 9 months (a bit late, I know, but we just started learning about EC). We're had a few catches, but they're all seem to be more accidents than anything. We leave him diaperless for most of the day (while we are home) and when we see him start to pee we make the "psssss"sound and sit him on his little potty. Now after four days when he hears us make the "pssss" sound he tries to get away as quick as possible, almost like he's anxious or afraid of us putting him back on the potty.

I'm feeling like a failure already - and it's only been 4 days! I'm beginning to doubt my ability to do this.

had anyone been at this point and gotten over it? Started late? Had similar problems? I just need a little help today...

[KermitII63]

It will get better--the most important thing is that you remember that it's for the comfort of the baby. When he goes in his diaper, congratulate him just the same as you would when he goes in the potty. I think that's the hardest thing--to not be attached to the outcome. When I am too focused on getting it right, ds senses it and goes on strike completley. I don't know if it's cold where you are, but if not taking him outside might help. Also, try to limit the time you hold him to 30 seconds to a minute at first. If you hold him over the potty too long he'll develop a negative association, which is reversable but super frustrating. I might hold off on trying to get him on the potty for a while, and just spend the next week or two making the sound when you see him go. Then he will associate the sound with going to the bathroom and you can transition to holding him over something. You can totally do this--and it's a testament to your connection and love for your little one that you're trying. Don't be so hard on yourself, it will get better!

[lichen.r]

Thank you SO much - this reply just made my day. My little guy just went down for a nap (w/ a diaper) and it's been a nice long one. Time enough for me to relax and remember why I started doing this in the first place! Thank you for your encouragement and your seggestions. You couldn't be more right! I'm trying a bbit too hard today and I need to let go. Thanks for the reminder.

[orangefoot]

It is a big adventure not a perfectionist challenge! I second the pp in saying that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. A catch is a catch and that is all good but don't get hung up on catches to the extent that your whole day has gone badly if you didn't get one you know?

You both noticing a wee is a good thing and getting it in the potty is secondary to that. There is plenty of time to practise so don't worry.

[georgiamum]

I have to disagree with kermit about congratulating the baby for peeing in his diaper. babies learn that pee is supposed to go in the potty because we give them positive reinforcement when they pee in the potty, and we are neutral when they pee anywhere else. I think it would be confusing and counterproductive reinforce peeing in the diaper. when the baby pees anywhere besides the potty, just say an unemotional "pee pee" to make that connection, but don't say it with anger or happiness.

[orangefoot]

I think that if you are late starting *any* recognition of the act of peeing is ok.

[Shanny2032]

We started even later than you (around a year) and something that really helped was for me to get a potty in every room. Our apartment is small but that extra second or so was making a big difference. We bought the IKEA potties that are super cheap. We are fulltime at home but I take her to work with me and it is much less so there. A little over 1 month into it and I have not changed a poopy diaper in 10 days! She is really starting to "get it" now so stick with it we had a few weekends like you described in the beginning.

[HeliMom]

I know I've had a lot of success with catching right after the LO wakes up.

Our routine no matter what is to head for the potty as soon as she wakes up from a nap or sleep. Praise galore.
But I only EC part time. So I'd say I usually catch 4-5 a day at most for my 9month old.

[weliveintheforest]

Originally Posted by orangefoot

I think that if you are late starting *any* recognition of the act of peeing is ok.

I think so too, its probably useful to be drawing the baby's attention to it any way possible and removing any wet diapers immediately to show that urine doesn't belong next to the skin.

Have you done much holding the baby over the sink or toilet to pee? When mine were small I would often just carry them to the bathroom and hold them over the sink or toilet. Right after awakening, or after a walk in the carrier were good times for us to try.

[Erlaine]

Some things that might be helpful...remember that even if you only catch one pee a week in the potty that's still one diaper that isn't going in the laundry/landfill...

Also remember to look at the bigger picture: even if you have five misses in a row, your 6th opportunity is just as likely to be a catch as the first one.

Last thing - varying locations has been huge for us. DD uses a potty bowl during the night, but in the morning for her big pee she protests the bowl even though I *know* she's ready to go. Then we take her to the potty or outside and she goes immediately. If you're pretty sure your DS has to go but he's fighting you, try waiting a minute and changing locations.

Good luck!

[mama24-7]

another thing to remeber is that your dc went in his/her diaper for 9 months, that's what they're used to, that's what they were trained to do. it's going to take a little while for your dc to unlearn it.

i started ec w/ ds1 when he was 1. it took a while to catch on. i had him diaperless at home during the day. i was cleaning the floor a lot between him & our elderly dog. i joke that that was the cleanest my floor ever was!

it will get better. remember to focus on the communciation & that your dc isn't going & sitting in his waste.

lastly, two things. if he protests, try a different place to potty. and i decided after ds1 would protest, that the next time around, i'd use the bathtub if necessary. dc would be able to play in an empty bathtub & that woudl catch whatever s/he didn't want to put in a potty!

good luck!
sus