24 hours in a plane...

[quantumleap]

DD will be 15 months. We'll be doing a shorter jaunt (~2 hours), followed by a 12 hour plane ride, followed by some serious airport time, and then another 12 hours. DD likes to colour and will play with quiet toys, for about five minutes out of every hour! She mostly likes to climb, run, crawl, and poke into EVERYTHING. The airport time will likely be at Heathrow - the terminal from hell. I may also be stuck in Adis, Ethiopia for 5-6 hours. That terminal is interesting though.
If we're lucky (pot shot at this point), I'll also be about 6 weeks pregnant on the way there, and then 11 weeks when we do the whole thing again, in reverse. With DD, I wasn't really nauseated until 11 weeks, when I thought I might die, but I was pretty knocked on my butt fatigue wise. I know every pregnancy is different, but I would like to be prepared for decreased energy levels. My DP can't come.
I'm hoping to avoid flying through the US, so that I can actually bring a few useful items in my carry on, but there's still a limit to what I can carry! What do I most need to bring, aside from the obvious diapers, snacks and sling? Survival tactics?! Help!!!
Thanks.

[sunnmama]

That's a long time!

I don't have experience with flights that long, but I have experience with drives that long with a similar age dc. I remember handing ds an endless stream of objects at one point--whatever I could get my hands on (I was sitting right next to him supervising, so it didn't have to be "baby safe" for him to explore). Cds, sunglasses, the top of a to-go cup, a straw....anything that would hold his attention for a few minutes of precious silence He was no longer interested in the baby toys I'd brought at that point.

Oh, I did a 11 hour train ride with ds when he was about 12 mo and seriously on the move. We walked up and down the aisle about a hundred times. Will you be permitted to move around the cabin? A few people were super kind and would entertain him for a minute or two, or offer something new for him to explore.

Will your baby have her own seat? If you can afford it, it would be worth--more space to play.

Hopefully your baby will sleep for hours and hours on the plane. My kids have never slept much when we travel by any method

Consider a toddler leash for the airport (maybe your sling would double for this), so that you can rest a bit and give her a little more freedom to explore.

Good luck! Sounds exhausting

[tabrizia]

I have to admit when we traveled for over 24 hours to and back from India, we gave DS a ton of lollipops, seriously he was almost shellacked, but it helps keep him happy and since on the way there he slept maybe 3 hours and on the way back around 6, that was important. He was 18 months at the time.

We also found our iPod worked wonderfully for him we put a bunch of kid shows on it and he was allowed to watch as much as he wanted. We would also walk up and down the airplane with him, because he really needed to move. We tried some new toys and some old toys as well, but he wasn't that interested, then again he has never been a big toy child. He did like window clings to put on the airplane windows, but those only really work if you know you have a window seat. He did have his own seat and we brought him car seat which helped a lot as well. We let him walk as much as possible during our layover, to work out a little energy, it helped some, but with a 15 hour flight there wasn't a ton we could do.

Honestly we did whatever we could to survive 24+ hours traveling with a toddler, even if it wasn't things we would normally let him do. If it kept him happy and content, he got it!

[quantumleap]

lollipops. Check.
Honestly, I'm not feeling overly reassured here!
I'm almost tempted to not go, but this is the only way for dd to meet her grandparents and uncle. I'm sure it will be wonderful once we get there, it's just the getting there I'm dreading! My mom is going to fly from Mombassa to Kigali with me, but that's just a little 2 hour jaunt. She seemed to think this was going to solve my travel worries. ahem. I think her memories of parenting young toddlers have dimmed with time.
DD will not have her own seat, at 2000$+ a pop, I'm just going to have to suck it up! The last time I did this (without kids), I was ready to run screaming off the plane about half way through. Ugh. I do seem to remember things being not too cramped until we got to Adis, at which point I was crammed between a ridiculously tall (though thankfully thin) Ethiopian and a typical "Mama" in a boubou (read: large woman in large clothes). Hopefully the flights won't be too full this go around.
Oh dear.

[SoulCakes]

Ugh, boy. Welcome to my life.

So... what are your thoughts on tv? Right before I took DD on her first transatlantic flight, my mom bought her a portable dvd player. I was completely annoyed, but honestly? That thing has been a lifesaver! Especially if you're on a flight without the built-in movie monitors. Just a thought.

I've done these long, long flights and layovers too many times now, but I can't really think of any good advice. Each trip is different: sometimes DD is rested and quiet and easy to entertain (and sometimes she sleeps on the plane, yay!), and other times it's the total opposite. I usually recommend trying to get into the right mindset for the journey. Like, a near-meditative, I-am-the-most-patient-and-unflappable-being-in-the-world type mindset. I'm not joking. Maybe I'm just normally more highstrung than others, but consciously tapping into my most patient mama self really helps.

Lastly, don't fret too much. Lean on the steward/esses, who have seen it all, to bring extra snacks and such. Don't stress about her behavior. Most people have been around kids, and they understand. And if they don't, well, who cares. Just do your best and don't worry if it doesn't go as smoothly as you hoped.

Most of all: good luck!!!

[mamareads]

We recently did a 2 hour flight followed by an 8 hour layover, a 10 hour flight and 2 hours in the car to get home. It was tiring and intense but nowhere near as bad as I had imagined it be before we left. My DS was 13 months at the time.

We bought a GoGo Kidz Travelmate (you can find them used) and it worked really well for us. We didn't buy an extra seat for DS so we gate checked his seat on the way, but the airplane was pretty empty on the way back and we were able to bring his seat on the plane. Either way, it was great to have his seat in the airport so we could wheel him around when he got tired and he could sleep in it too.

We also brought a bag full of small toys, lots of snacks and juice and a portable DVD player. Between the goodies we brought and all the new sights and sounds, he was occupied enough to stay happy.

Hope this helps!

[Fluga]

I thought my 3 hour flight was bad enough...

I flew recently with a 20 month old. Some things that helped were:
Breastfeeding
Plenty of snacks (they sell food on the planes so bringing her fave stuff was much better)
Stickers
uniset travel toy.
Reading her favorite book

She also really loves books with flaps with a picture under them. Getting a new book like that would probably have been a huge hit for us (I just didnt think of it until now lol).

The plane had a personal TV screen for every passenger and I tried to play cartoons for her but she just didnt care. She isnt used to watching TV and just didnt get into it. If you have a lap baby you get a lap belt for them to put on your seatbelt, I found this to actually be helpful. It limited her range of motion but did not frustrate her.

It'd also be great if you can let your daughter play and explore at the airports you have layovers at. A lot of airports have designated play areas but sadly not all of them.

[AllisonR]

I'd avoid it, if possible. I've done 22 hours with a 19 month old. He was, still is, a very mellow guy, but it was tough. And we were 2 adults and one child. But he just could not sleep well- By the time we were done, he had bloodshot eyes from h*ll. If you are going to do it, be sure to stay several weeks, otherwise it isn't worth the huge stress and strain, imo.

On the plus airports were ok because it was an interesting change of scene for him. Also kids can sleep anywhere, so on the floor works great. The air crew will try and help you; if your baby is quiet and happy, everyone else on the plane is happy and their job is easier. Even if you don't pay for a seat for him, if there arer empty spaces, you may end up with one as most other (business) passengers dont want to be next to your toddler, and the stewardesses know this. Ask for exit row seats - much roomier and he can sit on the floor and make a mes with toys. Candy, tv, whatever you don't do - do it now! The airplane ride itself is ok the first hour or two - entertaining for a tot, it's the following 12 hours that are awful, when he wants out and can't understand why you can't just get off! And 15-20 months is better, imo, than 3-4 y, because you can keep entertaining a 15mo with small toys, walks up and down the isle, lolipops... a 3.5 yo will be happy with that once or twice, that's it. On the other hand, they can watch an hour or two of tv.

I haven't done it again since DD was born. We will again this year - two adults, two kids, so wish me luck as well. Now they are 3y and 5 y, and we plan on staying 2-3 weeks.

[quantumleap]

We are going to stay awhile - about a month. Apparently there's a way to do this with an overnight in a hotel in Washington and then a direct to Nairobi flight, which does cut some time off the total, but also means I can't bring a carry on and prolongs the ordeal. I'm still a searching for tickets - I think I'm looking for something that will get me to central Africa in a maximum of five hours. Seriously, someone needs to get on the teleportation thing!

[LCBMAX]

My experience is:

a 12 hour flight with a 6 month old - ha! no comparison! but I learned the joys of ice (unlimited suppy from flight attendants) which rattles, melts, makes messes that you can easily clean, can be worn as a ring, etc. Also the kindness of strangers, especially non-US, non-European fellow travellers who often look more kindly on kids.

a cross country van trip with an 18 month old - still seems like no comparison, but closer. Our non-TV adjusted son learned to watch kids tv in 5 minute increments, and the portable dvd player ultimately could get us a 30 minute break. So if you go that route, prep your kid ahead of time by showing them a few minutes of the same show every day before travel.

Now planning a domestic flight solo with my 2 year old monkey. Again no comparison, but... planning to bring popcorn, bubble wrap, and will be shopping the craft store today for more tricks. A little case of finger puppets. Aquadoodle, which we use as a picture book for made up stories.

You never know, it might be great! But do it because you yourself feel it's right, not for anyone else.

[2boyzmama]

We did a somewhat shorter flight three times...one round trip when our oldest was 9 months old (that wasn't too awful bad because he nursed a whole lot) and then a one-way trip when he was 13 months old. That one was harder!

Our travel for the round trip was 2 hours by car, 2 hours in airport, 2 hour flight, 3 hours in airport, 8 hour flight, 3 hours in car.

Our travel for the one-way was harder... 3 hours in airport (ridiculously early arrival time), 2 hour flight, 2 hours in confined area of airport (only one room, couldn't leave the secure area), 9 hour flight, 2 insane hours in airport (almost missed our connection because of problems getting our dog through customs), 4 hour flight, 2 hours in airport, 1 hour flight.

I think I've blocked out most of my memories of that one-way trip

What helped a lot was to let him down and run around at every possible opportunity. On one of the layovers I got myself a Starbucks and we rode the "people mover" (the flat escalator-type things that just move you without you having to walk) over and over...we'd ride it to the end, then walk back, then ride it to the end, then walk back. Probably over a dozen times. I had a coffee, I didn't care, and he obviously needed to get out some energy.

I packed several cheapy little dollar-store type toys that were wrapped multiple times in really fun wrapping paper. I let him open one every hour or two. It was exciting, it distracted him for a short time, it was cheap.

The stewardesses can help a lot, often they have little trinkets, or they enjoy holding/playing with little ones.

We did many many laps of the airplane when the seatbelt sign was off. We'd just walk up and down the aisles. Often someone sitting on the aisle would stop and play with my son for a few minutes, which would distract him (and give me a short break!)

Otherwise it was a WHOLE LOT of mommy patience, a good sense of humor, a plastered smile on my face, and did I say already a whole lot of patience?!

[JessBB]

Not to be harsh, but maybe you should hold off on TTC until after your trip? What might be merely bad or exhausting could ratchet up to hellish or impossible if you're pregnant & ill. And I cannot imagine travelling that amount of time with a 15 month old as a lap child. I'm sorry to be a naysayer, but to me this sounds like a not great idea, at least at that time and under those parameters. FYI, I have a 3 yo and 1 yo and we've travelled a TON although nothing long-haul. And believe me, you do NOT want your first days of parenting a toddler while pregnant to be on an airplane.

[cherimoya]

What is your DD like? Calm? or a child that seemingly can't sit still?

I flew with DS from Canada to Australia (3 flights) when he was 9mo and it was a breeze because 1) he still fit in the bassinet in the bulkhead seats, 2) he loved to breastfeed ALL the time and 3) he was, and still is, a very calm/easy-going child. When DS was 19mo I did the flight again with DH and it wasn't bad. Flying with toddlers is tough because they want to crawl/run and don't understand why they have to be mostly confined in a seat.

We flew from Canada to Australia again when my DD was 15mo and DS was 6yo. We knew that flying with DD was going to be *trying* because 1) she's a wild child 2) she screams when in the car, 3) being a toddler on a plane is tough. So the way we dealt with it over-all was DH and I told each other that "at some point we know she will lose it and we will stay calm, we will try not to fight with each other and if we cut each other off (due to stress) we will do our best to understand and be patient with each other. And we will just get through it!".......WELL guess what! Before the first flight even took off my DD lost it BIG-TIME. She didn't want to breastfeed, she didn't want to be held by me or DH, she didn't want toys, she didn't want to be in her seat!! It was insane! Once the flight was in the air I spent most of the rest of the flight rocking her in the tail-section of the plane. DH and I just smiled at each other. You just get through it!

So imo it depends on the child, although I would personally never recommend flying with a toddler without their own seat if possible. My DD is a wonderful child, that is getting better in the car but I don't plan to fly anywhere again with her until she's maybe 3 or 4yo.

Things to take with you:

• new toys that you don't mind losing
• snacks, including healthy and not-so-healthy. M&M's are a good size for toddlers
• accept steward/ess help
• ask steward/ess to watch your child while you go to the bathroom
• take extra clothes for you and DD
• get DD her own seat if possible, at least for the longer flights
• money to buy snacks and new little toys at the terminals (you may have lost half of your toys by this point)
• get a bulk-head seat...this is SO important, especially if your DD does not have her own seat
• if no bulkhead, then you MUST have an aisle seat so that you don't have to climb over anyone to get out.
• breastfeed
• let your DD run wild in the terminals, don't worry what other people may think. Most people understand it and would prefer you tire out your child in the terminal before you hop on their plane
• if you're like me and worry about germs etc, LET IT GO! while you're traveling or you will drive yourself insane.

Good luck!

[cherimoya]

Originally Posted by selkat

Apparently there's a way to do this with an overnight in a hotel in Washington and then a direct to Nairobi flight, which does cut some time off the total, but also means I can't bring a carry on and prolongs the ordeal.

DO THIS! Stopping over night in a hotel is seemingly a hassle (I understand that in terms of my thinking pre-kids) but you'll see with a child this is a good idea. On my trip back from Australia to Canada we did an overnight stop in Tokyo...originally I thought that was a hassle and a long way to get home BUT it was awesome! It allowed me to freshen up, have an awesome hot shower, have a good meal brought to my room, have a long sleep and go for a morning walk with my 9mo. I would absolutely recommend that for anyone flying with a child.

Why can't you bring a carry-on?

[Pippi L.]

We had a flight-crazy summer with my then 20 months old. None of the flights were as long as yours, but it was constant planes, trains, and automobiles for a month. Here's what worked for us:

Dollar store. The week before we went I went to the dollar store and got a ton of little toys, stickers, and a coloring book. The big hits were purse that she could put her other toys in and this squishy ball with soft spikey things. I'm sure you'll find some interesting stuff Every time things were getting rough I'd pull out a new toy. I wrapped some to make it more interesting.

Books. I took along old favorites and a bought a few new ones.

Food. Veggie booty was a lifesaver on the way over. She only gets it on planes so it's a special treat. I'd always go shopping and find something new (usually without sugar) right before each plane trip.

Every time you're at an airport let her run as much as possible -- though I know this is a pain when you're alone and don't have anyone to watch the luggage. This really tired my daughter out.

Breastfeeding!!! If you're still nursing use it to your full advantage! My daughter almost never falls asleep nursing, but she almost always will in the plane. She runs around in the terminal, waves hello as people get on the plane, and then conks out nursing within the first half hour. That gives me a couple hours of peace Whatever sleep cues you can bring along, bring along!

Take more than you think you need. My daughter's toys were in a cloth grocery bag. It was filled. Same with diapers. My friend has an awful story of being stranded at JFK airport with no diapers. <shudder>

Good luck! It might be a horrible 24 hours, but it's finite. You'll have a month to recover before you do it again One last thing, I don't know what your situation is, but if I were you I'd wait to TTC. I'm 6 weeks pregnant right now and can't imagine doing what I did this summer feeling the way I do now -- and my trip was shorter than yours and I had another adult to help me. That's just my 2 cents, though. You know yourself way better than a random stranger on a message board.

Good luck!!

[Liberty5_3000]

It may not be that bad. We did 24+ hours with a 23 month old and I read everyone's suggestions and packed all the stickers, new toys and books, gummy candies, etc. and we really didn't need any of it. He would fall asleep on each take off and slept most of the trip. We let him have lots of freedom to explore during layovers. It was such a relief that it went so much better than I expected. So not everyone has a terrible time!

[Picard]

Brave Mamma! I am still not even thinking of taking my 21 month old on a 10 hr flight - 2 hr layover - 2 hr flight - 4 hr drive to take him to see his grandparents, but I seem to have turned into a travel wimp since giving birth. If you are taking the long way to Central Africa, I would see if you can have an overnight lay-over somewhere. Or even two nights. It breaks up the travel and will be totally beneficial. I don't think that it costs more.

[Jezzy]

We just got back from Thailand last week. We were traveling for about 20 hours with our 2 year old. The flight to Bangkok was 13 hours and another 1 hour to our island. We also fly once a year to back home in Michigan We travel 18 hours door to door.

I have a VERY active LO too. What helps us is bfing a lot. Lots of books, stickers are another good one. She loves stickers Snacks. We also had a Mama Child seat. (bulkhead) Where our little one could get on the floor and have a little room. This was a blessing.

It is strange at home she runs from one corner to another but in the plane she is VERY content sitting on my lap and being *confined*

There are also hollistic remedies that are supposed to calm a child in such a situation. My SIL who is a Dr gave us something just in case. (totally harmless!!!) We didn't need it though. Let me know if you want to know what it was. I will dig them out and let you know.

Another thing that I always keep in mind when traveling with the kids. ( I have been flying back and forth to Europe (where I live) and to America (where my family lives) for 18 years now. Mostly alone with the kids. When it gets stressy and it can. (once my ds now 17 puked all over the guy sitting next to us who refused to let us have the isle seat so we could get out quickly if needed) This too will pass. It may seem like a long time but what is 24 hours?

You can do it!

[Marylizah]

I would vote:

--A portable DVD player and plenty of DVDs-- Sesame street, Maisie the Mouse, those types of shows

-- Lots of snacks. Lots and lots and lots of snacks.

-- A few books, new "toys" (even the disposable tupperware with random objects inside can be toys.

If you can't take carry-on (are these really the new rules?? Double check!) then don't take those flights. NOT. WORTH. IT. I can't fathom entertaining and feeding a child for 24 hrs with no carry on.

The airport will probably be the easy part-- plenty of space for walking, running, things to see and people to meet.

I've done some international flights with DS, but nothing quite as long and complicated as what you are planning. Overall, is your child pretty easy-going? If not, I probably wouldn't do it alone AND while pg.

Good luck!!

[redvlagrl]

We did a 30 hr transit time trip when DD was 7 mths and then back at 8mths. TBH, it was hellish.

Survival tips:
Don't plan on either of you sleeping. That way *any* sleep is a bonus
Take a carrier of some sort. My wrap and DH's beco saved the day
Rescue Remedy had no effect whatsoever
There was a point in each trip where DD had a *total* meltdown. It was very stressful Just be prepared mentally for this
I'm hoping you'll have your own seats.
EAting is hard. They will give you both meals at the same time so you'll be juggling meals ont he floor etc.
Ask for a bulkhead seat.
Take the offered alcohol.

Good luck. It's a hard time, but remember - it's only one day.