Originally Posted by somanythings
ITA I left a church for almost 6 months with NO notice/call/letter anything, then returned and had several people say, "I really missed you/wondered where you were/etc." and I was like
you could have called or something.
Maybe people meant to send a note or call, then read a thread like this and saw all of the negative comments
And, really, the awkwardness about discussing these things face-to-face or over the phone doesn't necessarily clear up after the age of 5. Especially if people are dealing with hurt feelings. Sometimes mid-conversation you suddenly realize that you're asking the person the equivalent of "so, are y'all still getting a divorce or are you thinking about giving it another go?" It sort of depends on the personalities involved and the reason for not showing up at church, which sometimes people honestly don't know about until they ask you (I tend to be clueless about the gossip at church, totally clueless, stick-my-foot-in-my-mouth clueless, so believe me, it can happen).
This has been an interesting thread to read because I was about to email a friend to say "we've missed you" because 1) the "we" refers to dh and me, since we'd both commented on it, and 2) the best time for me to make communications like this (phone someone, send a note, etc.) is between 7 and 8am, because after that the kids are up and we'll be in full swing until around 10pm; and I can't tell you how annoyed I'd be if someone called ME at 7am to tell me that they missed me. The few times this friend and I have tried to call each other to discuss something it's been a 3 sentence conversation as one of us is dashing out the door. So you people who hate notes and the "we've
missed you" are forewarned that if you show up at our church and then disappear you may find yourself getting a note from me that uses those exact words.
So I'm thinking that there can't be a "rule" on this one -- it really depends on the situation.