Birthday Party Question

[velochic]

Dd will be 8 soon. The weekends before and of her birthday have already been usurped by other friends' birthday parties (Jan. 30 and Feb. 6). These are all the same friends, so basically all the same kids will be at all the parties. The only exception is that one of the kids is inviting all the kids from class and we'd be inviting just a small group of girls that are close friends. Still, a subset of the same kids.

The next date we'd like would be Feb. 13th. First of all, I'm not sure if parents will want to bring their kids to a party on the date that they will likely be celebrating Valentine's Day. We live a LONG way from school and most of these parents will have to drive 1 hour to get to us. My other concern is that this will be the 3rd weekend in a row that all of the same girls will be getting together for birthday parties.

Because of this same issue, dd has not had a b-day party for 3 years, and she really wants one this year. I think she's due for one.

We can't combine parties with the others. Our parties are very low-key when we have them and the other two families go all out (to the tune of many hundreds of dollars to rent the most exclusive of party venues in the city).

With these things in mind, would you schedule it for this date or wait a little while and have it a little later... say the weekend of the 20th, a full two weeks after dd's birthday.

[GuildJenn]

Well I don't know if you want just a simple answer or brainstorming.

So simple answer: I think I'd go for the 20th.

Complex answer: I'd look at (depending on funds and energy):

- a cheaper party venue closer to everyone for the other day in one of the weekends that are 'taken' (so that you are imposing a second party, but it's not quite as much of a hassle)

- an exclusive dinner + DVD party for her 3-4 closest friends at my house for Feb 13th, billed as "party for my daughter, FREE VALENTINE'S EVE BABYSITTING FOR YOU." from 6-9:30 pm

[velochic]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

- an exclusive dinner + DVD party for her 3-4 closest friends at my house for Feb 13th, billed as "party for my daughter, FREE VALENTINE'S EVE BABYSITTING FOR YOU." from 6-9:30 pm

This is what her party would be anyway. She is inviting only 5 girls, so it's a small, more intimate party, anyway.

I think part of the issue is that we do live so far from the school... in the opposite direction from the rest of the kids. If the parents had a short 20 minute trip to drop off their kids, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by velochic

This is what her party would be anyway. She is inviting only 5 girls, so it's a small, more intimate party, anyway.

I think part of the issue is that we do live so far from the school... in the opposite direction from the rest of the kids. If the parents had a short 20 minute trip to drop off their kids, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue.

If it's only 5 kids, could you call their parents and ask about the two different dates? It seems like it would maximize your daughter's happiness.

[Linda on the move]

Go for the 20th. The date of the party isn't important. Having the party she wants to with the kids she wants to is VERY important!

[Hoopin' Mama]

Do parents find the time to celebrate Valentine's Day??

I think if it is a small party with a few friends, the other weekend get togethers being won't matter too much. The kids will still be happy to get together. If it's such a long drive, is a sleepover possible? I don't know what age those start.

[mtiger]

I'd do the 13th and make it a sleepover. See if the other parents can't carpool, so a couple bring them out and a couple of others bring them back on Sunday.

If you're going to put it off longer, I'd wait until the weather's nice and have it at a park closer to everyone.

[velochic]

Well.... we can't do a sleepover. It might be a little complicated but essentially, dd still co-sleeps, so she wouldn't sleep in the living room with her friends and in dh's culture they don't do that, so it's not even an option on the table. Plus, we don't want to set up anything where dd would feel obligated to spend the night elsewhere

Sleepover - not a possibility. Period.

I think we're going to shoot for the 20th. Hopefully dd won't feel that it's been forgotten.

Thanks, all!

[lilyka]

my kids would love to have a birthday party with a friends a couple weeks after their birthday. they get cake and presents from me. cake and presaents from their dad. then the next week cake and presents with friends. heck yeah!!

Also could you offer to provide transportation. I don't really do anything for valentines with my kids. if I So offering to pick up kids and bring them home would likely make your party very attractive to parents.

[Tofu the Geek]

Does your DD go to school? and are these school friends? and would you have a way to transport all the girls? If so, I'd plan it for any Friday after school, and drive the girls yourself to your place for dinner, party, etc. Then the parents only have to drive once to get them rather than two 1 hour trips.

[Irishmommy]

I'd suggest next year you send out invites for the day you want early, so that you get 'dibs' on the date.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by Tofu the Geek

Does your DD go to school? and are these school friends? and would you have a way to transport all the girls? If so, I'd plan it for any Friday after school, and drive the girls yourself to your place for dinner, party, etc. Then the parents only have to drive once to get them rather than two 1 hour trips.

I thought of that, but not all of the girls from the class are invited. How would it look for a small group of girls all hanging together excited about a party and some of them being excluded? I didn't think that was very nice.

Plus dh and I would both have to drive to get them all in two vehicles, and I doubt we could coordinate it.

I do agree with Irish Mommy that we need to get "dibs" on the date next year. In fact, dd and I were working on her invitations when the "Evite" came in for her friend... and grabbing "our" date.

[ameliabedelia]

I'm having my daughter's 8th birthday party on Feb. 13th. It's her actual birthday and the first year (since she starting having "friend parties" that her actual birthday is on a weekend and it's possible. She really wants it on that date. I never really considered the fact that it is the day before Valentine's Day.

Of course, her friends mostly live close and no one else has a birthday around that time, so that issues of all the parties in a row and the long driving distance isn't a factor for us.

Given what you wrote...I would do either an early party (starting by 11:00 or so) on the 13th (or course then you would need to serve lunch) OR do the 20th OR I do like the idea of hte afterschool party IF YOU will be able to transport the girls (and you know their parents will be okay with that).

[CarrieMF]

There's nothing wrong with having the party the same day as another party, just at a different time. you could also have it Sunday too.

[cedoreilly]

I would quickly poll the parents of the girls involved. With my twins, we did a morning party 10am-12 noon because I did not want my DS3 crabby for the party. I think just about every kid there had another party that afternoon (most were family parties not friend parties). The 13th could work out too. Drop, go to dinner or lunch nearby and then come back and get the kid. I know there was one mom of a girl who lived a little out from us and she dropped the girl and then was excited to go shopping at the mall near our house while the party was taking place!

[eepster]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

There's nothing wrong with having the party the same day as another party, just at a different time. you could also have it Sunday too.

I would find trying to do two parties a huge pain in one day. I don't think most parents want to try to do two parties in one day, especially since the OP states that she is located in the opposite direction from where most of the girls live. I'd also be kind of annoyed if another parent scheduled a party at the last minute on the same day they knew I'd scheduled DS's awhile ago.

Also many parties go past there scheduled times one way or another. For instance I'm having DS's next b-day party at a local museum and part of what makes it a pretty good deal is that the attendant can stay and enjoy the day at the museum after the official party with cake and such is over. I suppose some of the attendees will have other places to go after the end of the party, but I think most will want to stay.

[noobmom]

Personally, I'd have the party on Feb 13, after checking with the parents of the other kids to make sure at least most of them were available. But that may just be because I don't think much of Valentine's Day. Seriously though, if you had the party early enough in the day, I don't see that it would have a huge impact in any evening activities anyway.

[octobermom]

I'd go for the 13th personally... Actually if it was a drop off pick up type party (which I'd kinda assume at that age) I'd actually enjoy it it give DH and I an hour or two to have a rare "mini date"

Deanna

[Momily]

We often have DS's party a couple of months after his birthday. I can't host a party at my house, and often times by the time I think "Oooh, his birthday's coming better set something up" the venues he likes are booked, so we end up celebrating his two months late. No one, including DS seems phased by this in the slightest.

Given that, I hardly think that having a party 2 weeks after the birthday is a big deal. As long as she knows by her birthday that something's been set up I don't see why she'd feel slighted.

Having said that, I also don't think Valentine's day is a big deal, but if you feel it might be, that makes me wonder if others might too, so I vote for the 20th.

[zebra15]

I guess having a DS there isnt much 'drama' about these things. Pick the date you want and those that can come will.