gift for the midwives?

[bclare]

In reading all of the "things I wish I knew" threads a few people wished they had a gift ready ahead of time for their midwife. I have two wonderful midwives, and while I have the time and energy before baby comes I would love to think of a nice gift for them to present them with at one of the check-ups after the birth. But I can't think of anything! I don't want anything which would seem to trivial, and at the same time they aren't really friends who I know well enough to know what they would need. Anyone have any ideas? Thank you!

[Galatea]

I didn't know that I was supposed to give a gift and didn't have one. But honestly, I don't really get the gift thing; I just gave her $1200. Not trying to sound callous - I just don't get it.

[Jelinifer]

I know our midwives have tons of framed pictures displayed around the birth center of babies that they've caught.... they also seem to have alot of mom/baby related Willow Tree angel figures around the offices too.

[UmmAbduRahman]

Our first two were born at a birth center and for those we spontaneously gave the birth attendant (but not the midwife) a $50 check. We brought sweets to the 10 day appointment for the midwives.

I'd love to hear some more special ideas!

[Tulafina]

I purchased a necklace for each of the mw's. The pendant was in the shape of a pregnant woman's tummy/breasts and it was made out of hammered silver.

I also made my main mw a lapghan (small afgan made for sitting on the couch while reading/watching tv)which she loved ) I like to make homemade gifts and I love crocheting so it was simple for me to make it. We have our mw services funded by the government but even so I still think it's a nice gesture to give a little something if you can. This time around I'm unsure what I'm going to make them.....I'll be lurking this thread for any new ideas

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by Galatea

I didn't know that I was supposed to give a gift and didn't have one. But honestly, I don't really get the gift thing; I just gave her $1200. Not trying to sound callous - I just don't get it.

You sound like my dh! He thinks I should send a pic of the baby on her first birthday.

[momtoS]

$1200? Do you have to pay your midwife? If not, that is a really generous amount.

I gave some midwife notepads, a couple of bottles of wine, and....I forget.

[orangatan]

With our first child we ended up having 4 midwives involved in our care and we gave each of them a pretty potted plant and a card with pictures from the birth.
With our second child we got our primary midwife a card again with birth pictures and a gift certificate to a herbal store/ restaurant in her neighbourhood that she shops at. For our second midwife we got her the same gift certificate but for a smaller amount and again a card. We had a student midwife involved in our care as well and we gave her a locally made journal with a labyrinth on the cover and a pic of her and DS on the first page. The idea being she could use the journal to keep pics of the little ones she has been a midwife to.
Some gifts I have heard of midwives getting are
- fresh baked anything
-cakes
-home made knitted stuff, slippers, ect
- Gift cards to starbucks, other coffee joints
-fresh flowers
-pics of them with baby, birth pics, baby pics framed
ETA- I'm from Canada and our health plans cover midwives/homebirth fully so maybe gifts are more common in my area.

[HisBeautifulWife]

Originally Posted by Galatea

But honestly, I don't really get the gift thing; I just gave her $1200. Not trying to sound callous - I just don't get it.

That's what I was thinking, the paycheck should be enough. But I guess some people like to do extra little things.

[claddaghmom]

I gave our MW a candle set. I think a framed photo or photo gift would be more appropriate and I will keep that in mind next time. I have a $10 shutterfly code that expires 2 months after the baby is born...

[JennTheMomma]

I'm going to give out MW and her assistant a mug that is a pregnant woman, she collects things like that. Also a MW bumper sticker and some apple wine that is made locally.

[Sweetiemommy]

I think that the quality and personal care of a good midwife deserves some sort of personal recognition, despite monetary compensation. A well written thank you note and photograph at the least. I think that any type of homemade gift is very thoughtful, things like teas, plants or baked goods are very inexpensive, but kind. I have donated used children's books to the office waiting room, or a nice book about childbirth for the "office library." I know that my midwife likes homemade jewelry (which can be done very inexpensively if you go to a craft store like Michael's or JoAnn's). I also try to think about things that the midwife likes or things that we have discussed in conversation or during appointments. Most midwives are fairly crunchy, so I think anything natural or locally grown or made is appreciated. Another idea would be to donate in her name to one of the charities that donate midwife training or supplies to midwives in developing nations. In fact, your midwife might even have a favorite charity or know someone who does missionary work that they would like you to support. If there is an office staff, they can be helpful in getting this kind of information. One idea that I had recently was an "emergency snack basket" for a midwife who ends up at a birth without any food! I was thinking of putting together some healthy snacks and treats to keep them going! Hope this helps!

[Youngfrankenstein]

I don't think you're wrong, sweetiemommie, I just think that my mw house if full of trinkets and things she's almost been forced to collect over the years. Knowing her personality, I don't think it's essential to give a gift of more than a thank you note and a photo.

I'm not trying to sound rude or insensitive. I just think she has enough stuff that I'd rather skip the gift. Honestly, other than her being allergic to shellfish, I don't know to much about her personality outside of the midwife side of her.

[Sweetiemommy]

I agree, it shouldn't be a forced gift or unnecessary trinket, but I do think that a thank you not is customary and appropriate. Of course, I am also the kind of person who gives small gifts or homemade goods to various people at Christmas (my chiropractor, the dry cleaner, the waitress who takes good care of us at our favorite cafe, etc). I think those kinds of things maintain a sense of community in an often isolating world, kwim? I don't think it needs to be expensive or material, just the thought that counts.

[bclare]

Oooh, I really like the idea of some king of gourmet "snack pack"-- my MW's both are on teh go constantly and talk about eating in their car a lot. I may look for a nice basket or bag and fill it up with goodies for them. Something which won't clutter their house and is still personal. Thanks!

[gentlestrengths]

Originally Posted by Galatea

I didn't know that I was supposed to give a gift and didn't have one. But honestly, I don't really get the gift thing; I just gave her $1200. Not trying to sound callous - I just don't get it.

Did you ever figure out how many hours she spent with you - from the first time you met her until your postpartum pap? Did you call her in the night ever? Did you speak with her between appointments because of concerns at times? Remember she was on-call for you for weeks. Then divide that $1200 by how many hours she spent with you. How much were you paying her per hour? I imagine not a lot - at $1200 (I don't know if this was recent, but that is a very low fee), unless you came into her practice late in the game.

I'm not trying to offend you but trying to open your eyes to how much time she put in to you. You don't *HAVE* to buy her a gift - no - but just realize, $1200 is NOT a lot of money for the amount of work she did. You would have paid a doctor a lot more. And they don't give near as good care.

A tip or a gift is most certainly appropriate for a midwife who's care is beyond that of other professional birth attendants. I've always given my midwife (and assistant) a gift (something around $100) because I think what they do is important. I want them to feel cherished, and I want them to feel like how they've served me is truly valuable to me - more than just their fee.

[LisaSedai]

I read this somewhere- you can gift a homebirth midwife with a homebirth kit that she could use for a future client that might not have alot of money.

I agree with the poster that said MW don't get paid enough for all they do- think of all the money a typical Dr would get for all the prenatal appointments (where they spend 10 minutes with you) and what he gets for showing up at the end of labor to catch the baby. MW are on call all the time- how do they even have a life?

[Sweetiemommy]

I know that they miss out on a lot in their personal lives. Like Christmas or their kid's birthdays, anniversaries. When the mom calls, they just have to go. I think that would be really hard. I'm the kind of person who just likes to sit and read or relax with my husband sometimes. If I just suddenly got phone calls that I had to go be somewhere away from my family for 12 or more hours, it would be very hard for all of us. I'm so thankful for what they do, I guess that's why I feel like giving something personal is nice, it seems like they give so much of themselves, I just want them to know how much I appreciate it.

[Peace+Hope]

stuff that can be used, and maybe even used up so as not to add to the "stuff"

ideas i've had so far:

- food for them each visit (they come to our house at lunchtime, so i always have fruit or sandwiches or soup or something)

- giving them the birth pool, to be used for other clients

- knitting something luxurious but small, like a short lace scarf or fingerless gloves

- web work by my husband

- thank you notes and pictures

[cc_mama]

My mom is a professional quilter so I will be giving my midwives each a minature quilt (2'x2'). I think it works because it's 'handmade' but small enough to put up in their exam room or at their own homes.