My Dad wants to take my son fishing! Just a vent

[lovepiggie]

Okay, I know it's silly to be worrying about this so much, because DS is only 4 months old. But my Dad has already talked about taking my son fishing when he is older.

I have a real problem with this, obviously, since I'm a vegan and I don't want my son eating fish, let alone killing a fish by himself! But no one else seems to think this is a problem - not even my vegan husband!

Everyone just says that it's an activity to do with his Grandpa, and I shouldn't worry. And also, I've said before that if DS is older and wants to eat animal products, it's his choice... Everyone is saying he should be able to make the choice! But I think there is a difference, and that he would probably be influenced by wanting to please his Grandpa.

Auugh, I'm losing sleep over something that probably won't even be a real issue for several more years!

[Chamomile Girl]

If its just an activity to do with Grandpa, than Grandpa won't mind doing catch-and-release right? Or fishing without hooks?

[LVale]

I really think this should not even be on your radar yet. Who knows what the future holds. You are going to drive yourself nuts worrying about what might happen with regards to your child.

[lovepiggie]

Originally Posted by LVale

I really think this should not even be on your radar yet. Who knows what the future holds. You are going to drive yourself nuts worrying about what might happen with regards to your child.

Oh, I know, and I try not to worry about it!

[noobmom]

What age are you planning to give your DS the choice about eating animal products? I assume you won't prepare them for him in your house, but when will you give him free rein at other people's homes/restaurants? Would the age be significantly different than when he might go fishing with Grandpa?

Well, is your Dad a good fisherman? What's the chance they would actually catch any fish? In my observation, a lot of "fishing" has to do with the activity more than the end result.

Is there another hobby that your Dad is really into (something like photography or bird watching) that would be more acceptable?

If not, and fishing is your Dad's great love, I would think about what's more important to you: putting off your son's choice until he's a bit more mature or giving your Dad the opportunity to share something he loves his grandson (I'm trying to phrase this without injecting my opinion either way--I hope it worked.)

[KJoslyn78]

I agree - that the fishing has more to do with spending time together then actually catching fish.

My grandfather use to take us fishing, but also took hikes around the local village (a lot of time in a cemetery and the woods between his home and there), and wood working. Of them all though - i have to say the wood working was my favorite - not only did i get to use grandpa's tools (real hammer, and as i got older, his band saw, drills, etc) AND we made something i could play with (play swords, etc), and he taught my brothers to whittle (apparently he didn't think a pocket knife was something a girl should have - LOL).

My FIL does the same now with my kids, fishing, hiking (not wood working, but other handy work as it comes up, usually gardening as he is a avid and accomplished gardener)... and while i dont agree with the fishing personally, i know my girls just love going with him and watching him fish, and learning from him too (they are old, 6 and 11)

I agree with the poster below, maybe find out if your dad has another activity that he loves, or if it is fishing, figuring out at what age would it be appropriate in helping ds to make the choice to fish.

Originally Posted by noobmom

Is there another hobby that your Dad is really into (something like photography or bird watching) that would be more acceptable?

If not, and fishing is your Dad's great love, I would think about what's more important to you: putting off your son's choice until he's a bit more mature or giving your Dad the opportunity to share something he loves his grandson (I'm trying to phrase this without injecting my opinion either way--I hope it worked.)

[lilyka]

i went fishing a time or two. I have never ever eaten the fish I caught. and I loved meat. and fish. but we always just caught and released. if we actually caught anything. it is really hard to catch anything with a preschooler in tow.

[AFWife]

I'll agree with everyone that said that "fishing" and "catching fish" are two very different activities! If you REALLY want to catch fish there's a lot of equipment involved (my dad did a lot of it when I was growing up...the tackle box was HUGE) and you have to be quiet and still (not something children are best at you know?) However, "fishing" means "sitting in a boat or on a dock or lakeside and chatting with a line in the water." You could even request that he not use a hook and just use a weight if your son wants to learn to cast a pole. (Again, that's what my dad did for us) I wouldn't use hooks around a kid anyway!

[vegemamato]

Personally, I couldn't feel good about letting my children go fishing, even if it was catch and release

I would insist that my dad choose another activity, and I would explain my reasons. Maybe you could suggest kayaking or some other water activity..

Whatever you decide to do, try not to let it get you down. I get a lot of opposition from my family on issues like this, but I also know that I need to follow my heart when it comes to my children. This is one of many struggles you'll [probably] have, so try not to let it stress you out too much

[ShadowMoon]

I wouldn't worry too much yet, you never know what the future holds. I do understand your worry though, I would not be ok with my child fishing either. Luckily, no one in my immediate family fishes.

I also agree with everyone else that your dad is probably looking forward to a bonding ritual and if that's the case there are many other activities that can be substituted for fishing. My family loves to just go out on the water and spend time in the boat. Your dad may also eventually see where you're coming from, and there's always the chance your son will ethically disagree with the idea.

I also want to say that catch and release with hooks is just as bad as catching and not releasing. The majority of the fish thrown back end up dying from injury, infection, or weakness anyway. You could always toss some bread in the water, scoop fish up in a net and then put them back.

Anyway, don't worry too much. I'm sure it will work itself out. Peace~

[melissarana]

I completely get your concern. We realized recently that fishing, especially for young children, is all about their perception of the activity. My kiddos were given a copy of Curious George Goes Fishing (argh!). In the book, George uses a broom handle tied with string and a piece of cake for bait, to go fishing. From that, my little ones gathered that George was feeding the fish cake. Fun! Now they’re constantly pretending to “fish” (i.e. feed fish yummy treats) using shoelaces and play-food.

I’m not sure this is helpful or not – but – maybe your Dad would support you putting a more positive spin on the activity, so that your son and he can enjoy the quality time together.