s/o of the "building character at home" thread- a vent

[Dandelionkid]

In an interesting twist the friend that I mentioned in the character thread had her school counselor tell her that no one should ever homeschool- it does a huge disservice to children by not allowing them to work through social problems at a young age. He mentioned adult homeschoolers he knew who fell apart upon entering university because they just couldn't hack it. She wanted to know if I knew any successful adult homeschoolers. Anyway, I read her some of your responses on the other thread and I was so thankful that I had that but that counselor makes me so mad. And a tiny bit worried I have to admit. Mostly I want to fast-forward a few years and show everyone how great my kids are turning out

[momtokea]

That counsellor makes me mad, too. His comments are ridiculous. I would like to know exactly how many homeschoolers he knows that "fell apart" at university. Does he know any public schoolers that "fell apart" at university, or are they all doing great?

And why is your friend even telling you this? why is she discussing homeschooling with some stupid school counsellor and coming back and reporting to you? who needs a friend like that?? Don't worry about it.

In the past week we have visited with some family friends who have kids the same age as ours (11, 10, and 8). Our kids have always loved playing together, but recently the 10 and 11 year old girls have changed. They have become sullen, silent, whiny, snarky and depressed. I can think of 4 girls, all from different families, that have changed at around that age. My 10 and 11yo weird, unsocialized homeschooled dd's continue to be cheerful, talkative, and enthusiastic, just like they've always been.

Tell your friend she can have her public school character building socialization.

[Collinsky]

I'm the eldest of 5 hs grads, and I'm normal. Not mainstream, perhaps, but I manage to blend in with the larger society without any glaring issues.

I did just fine in college - was even a cheerleader and in a sorority, which doesn't count for much in the scheme of things, but those are generally held to be things that are done by people who don't fall apart two weeks into the first semester. Granted, I had some years of public schooling under my belt before I was homeschooled, maybe I got well enough socialized in those years to compensate?? :eyeroll However, my younger brothers and sisters were all public schooled much less than I was - the younger three barely at all, I think they each gave Kindergarten a try and after a week decided it was bunk - and they've all managed to survive adult life. Dating, getting married, pursuing their goals, getting higher education, and having jobs - the whole shebang. None of them fell apart, and UNLESS THEY TOLD YOU you wouldn't know they'd been homeschooled. To be honest, the one who is the least successful at living the life he'd like is the one who was forced to "deal with" those artificially induced social issues at a premature age, and he would have been a million times better off if he'd never set one foot inside a public school. If our mother hadn't pulled him out when she did (he was the first one she homeschooled) I think it would have been disastrous for him. He is still scarred by those early years, though.

And the number of kids graduating public school who are unprepared to cope with life, who don't have the basic academic OR social skills that they need to be successful, is pretty high. I'm sure there is a percentage of homeschooled students who grow up to be awkward, insular, and incapable of living a full adult life with the skills they've got. I bet the percentage of public schooled students who graduate in exactly the same boat is the same or much, much higher. I can't stand it when people meet one or two homeschooled kids/teens who stick out like sore thumbs, and decide that that is obviously the norm for homeschoolers... without realizing that that painfully shy or "oddball" kid was standing in a group of twenty other homeschoolers who were perfectly normal in behavior, interaction, and ability to function in the world. So many people who are in favor of public schooling love to pretend that anecdotal evidence makes their opinion a fact... but it doesn't. It reveals more about their personal biases than it does about the success rate of homeschool students.

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by Dandelionkid

In an interesting twist the friend that I mentioned in the character thread had her school counselor tell her that no one should ever homeschool- it does a huge disservice to children by not allowing them to work through social problems at a young age. He mentioned adult homeschoolers he knew who fell apart upon entering university because they just couldn't hack it.

I missed the other thread. Anyway, I always chuckle when I hear about people making gross generalizations with personal experience. I would have simply asked your friend if this school counselor also knew schooled children who bailed out of college for one reason or another. Correlation doesn't imply causation.