Question about Gift for Preemie?

[Mamja]

My friend just gave birth at 30 weeks. Her baby is doing well, weighed 2 lbs 11 oz. I want to send a gift, but I'm not sure what would be most useful. At first I thought about some preemie clothes, since I'm sure she wasn't expecting to give birth early. But I have no idea how long he'll be in the hospital, and don't babies wear hospital gowns/clothes then? If the baby's discharged when he's over 5 lbs, wouldn't newborn clothes be fine?

Of course, the only reason I thought of preemie clothes is because she has a son already, so I'm sure she has plenty of newborn and up clothes. Is there another gift that might be more helpful? I'm kind of specifically asking about items that an unexpected preemie might need. I know things like meals and household help are appreciated, but I'll think about those things once I know everyone's home from the hospital.

[Jennifer Z]

A 5lber will still be overwhelmed by newborn sized clothes. I had a 4lb8oz girl (although technically a preemie, not really by today's NICU standards, just early) Here is a picture of her at about a month old, laying on some of her newborn size clothes: http://www.takingscenicroute.com/wp-.../b18752308.jpg

She might not need clothes so much for the micro sizes, but some that are for 4-6lbs might be good. I know that having a few outfits that fit her really helped me mentally.

[EmilyG]

i always think the best gifts for mommies stuck in the hospital with premies for long hours each day are things to pass the time. Magazines, books, snacks, things she can do while she sits with her baby. Picture albums, because she'll want to take lots of photos as her little one grows so quick, things like that.

[moaningminny]

Originally Posted by EmilyG

i always think the best gifts for mommies stuck in the hospital with premies for long hours each day are things to pass the time. Magazines, books, snacks, things she can do while she sits with her baby. Picture albums, because she'll want to take lots of photos as her little one grows so quick, things like that.

I agree with this.

The NICU will have clothes that they will use on the babies. We were told that we could certainly bring our own, but it wasn't recommended because sometimes the nurses couldn't tell what was owned by the parents and what was part of the unit's clothes...they would then get thrown in the wash with the others and sometimes get lost. We never brought our own clothes in for our 31 weeker.

DD was discharged when she was 4 pounds 8 ounces, and we only had a few preemie outfits for her. The rest were newborns, and although she did take a while to grow into them we didn't feel the need to get a ton of preemie clothes.

I honestly wouldn't bother with clothes - I'd go with something like the above idea, because your friend's days right now are very, very long. The preemie itself doesn't "need" anything right now, but the parents would definitely benefit from something. I also wanted to point out that meals are VERY helpful right now. Hospital food is expensive. The best gift a friend of ours gave us when we had our DD was a freezerful full of things that she had cooked. She made a lasagna, chili, shepherd's pie and cut them all up into individual meals and put them in microwaveable containers. THat way, we could grab one and take them with us to the hospital and would have a nice meal for dinner. Gift cards for restaurants around the hospital were great too.

It's great you're being such a thoughtful friend!

[Bokonon]

I agree with the gift cards and food suggestions! Another helpful gift is a gas card, for all the trips to and from the hospital.

If you live close enough, offer to watch her older child sometime, or offer to do her grocery shopping, clean her house, do her laundry - her baby will probably be in the hospital for at least a month (my 32-weeker was in NICU for 6 weeks), so anything to make her life easier for her to spend time at the hospital (and after the baby gets home!) is a great gift.

She is lucky to have such a thoughtful friend!

[Amys1st]

OTH, I would check. The parents washed all the blankets and sleepers etc at our nicu. IT was actually a joy because I would sniff the clothes all the way home. We received a lot of preemie clothes. Most of the makers make a preemie size which is 2.5-5 lbs. Then its newborn size. Babies r us has a huge stock as well as nordstrom (my mom found stuff all the way to preemie size).

I remember another couple not sure about it so while at babies r us, I bought their little guy a few outfits. Their family was out of town and they were young. We kind of took them under our wing because we were "older" and experienced w kids. Whatever. They were about 22/25 and we were 34 at the time. They really liked getting a gift at their isolette so it was worth it. We keep up on facebook now.

[ljc]

I love the suggestions for babysitting, meals, gas cards, etc. However, my daughter was 6 pounds, 6 ounces at birth (she is a twin born just shy of 38 weeks). She came home closer to 6 pounds and was swimming in newborn clothing. A close family friend purchased her just a few items in preemie size and I loved them on her Especially since she was also my first girl.

[mama2soren]

I would have loved gift certificates for nearby restaurants. We spent so much time in the hospital, which had absolutely terrible food. It got expensive buying snacks and meals, and it wasn't always feasible for us to pack a dinner from home to take along.

Does she have plenty of help with her older child? Could you ask to take him on some special outings? I bet a mom would feel really relieved knowing her older child was getting some special attention, when so much of her time and attention is likely geared towards the new baby.

Don't overlook the idea of household help, even though baby isn't home yet! With every minute of free time spent at the hospital, the house can become a complete mess. Mine did! It would have been a wonderful gift to have someone come by and help me at home. Having a well-kept, restful home to come home to, maybe with a simple dinner ready to throw in the oven after a stressful day at the hospital would have meant a lot to me.

If she doesn't have a stretchy wrap, like a Moby Wrap, that would be a lovely gift. When my 31 weeker was closer to coming-home age (he stayed in the NICU for 6 weeks) I enjoyed using my Moby and my Maya wrap at the hospital with him. I was super paranoid about his O2 sats, since he had difficulty keeping them up at times, and as ridiculous as it likely looked, it was a relief to have him snuggled in the wrap/sling with his O2 sat monitor on. I was reassured that he was staying safe in the wraps, and was less likely to worry when I wore him after he came home. I continued to use the Moby for about many hours a day when he was home. After all that time separated from him, it was the best feeling to have him snuggled next to me most of the day.

To me, I would have preferred any of the above gifts over clothes. If you want to buy some clothes (I know how fun it is to shop for a tiny one!), I found that Baby Gap newborn sized clothes were a good fit after about 4 pounds. They seemed like an "in-between" size between preemie clothes and regular newborn sizes. I favored those over the preemie sizes, as they lasted longer. DS gained about a half pound a week, so your friends little one might be close to 4 pounds soon.

[Ackray]

This isn't a useful gift, but someone gave us a plaster footprint kit. I love to look at how tiny my preemie's feet were 6 years ago. They were the size of her big toe now.

[arizonawillow]

We got a bunch of preemie clothes and she was able to wear them while still in the hospital. I'm sure it varies depending on the hospital. We did lose a blanket of ours to the hospital laundry though --it even had her name on it.

The thing that still touches me the most is that our neighbors on our street gave us 14 meals. 2 solid weeks of dinners. It is still so sweet to me that they did that for us.

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by Jennifer Z

A 5lber will still be overwhelmed by newborn sized clothes. I had a 4lb8oz girl (although technically a preemie, not really by today's NICU standards, just early) Here is a picture of her at about a month old, laying on some of her newborn size clothes: http://www.takingscenicroute.com/wp-.../b18752308.jpg

She might not need clothes so much for the micro sizes, but some that are for 4-6lbs might be good. I know that having a few outfits that fit her really helped me mentally.

My full-term 6 lb 15 oz baby boy didn't fit into newborn clothes and I had to buy him a preemie size sleeper to wear.

[babygirlie]

Also had a preemie and she swam in preemie clothes let alone newborn. Preemie clothes are awesome. I think she got up to 5# before she was released and still fit into preemie for a bit.

added.. they have no problem dressing baby in your own clothes but ask you label them and good chances they might get lost.

[SilverFish]

i just got out of a stretch in the NICU. my little 5lb 10oz 'er is literally swimming in newborn clothes but is too big for a lot of preemie stuff. she wasn't wearing anything while in the isolette, but once she moved to the bassinets, she was able to be dressed in her own clothes. it really made her feel more like "ours" to have her in clothes we brought... however, the sizing really can be difficult, so maybe just a gift certificate to a baby shop would be better.

other than that, gift cards for food, magazines, snacks, slippers, an extra comfy cushion (those hospital chairs were murder on my poor raw stiched up behind), all those things would have been really wonderful for the long torturous days and nights spent sitting around.

[justKate]

I just want to fifth or whatever the goodies for mom and dad, like magazines. I also think preemie clothes are fine. We dressed Aubs in her own clothes after the first week or so that she was in the NICU, and it helped things feel more normal.

Is the baby in an isolette, wamer, or a crib? Some NICUs will let you decorate a little, with your own blanket over an isolette, or magnets/signs on a warmer. Maybe you could make a little nameplate for him. Is the mama going to nurse? Maybe a basket of nursing accessories? A nursing cover for kangaroo care/nursing at the NICU? A fancy water bottle she can take to and from the hospital? Just brainstorming...

[sbrinton]

Lots of good ideas here! I might just check with your friend to see what would be helpful. Clothes might be a little overwhelming this week, but would be really exciting when the baby is able to wear them. I so enjoyed finally being able to dress our 31 weeker! It was an important milestone that helped things feel more normal.

Another milestone in the NICU is the first bath. Small size baby soap, lotion, massage oil or a soft towel would be nice for that. The hospital towels are very scratchy! Once our little ones were just feeding/growing, we found that they both enjoyed having their feet rubbed with a little lotion. Preemies feet get really poked and prodded in the NICU. Bloodwork, monitors, etc...but I've come to believe that it's important to compensate for everything painful thing with plenty of gentle, healing touch.