*o..* MEMBER SPOTLIGHT 1/18 & 1/19 - Tatooed_Hand *..o*

[evinmom]

HOW IT WORKS:
We will ask you questions, you will answer them, or if you just have any words of wisdom or basically anything you want to share, post it here- it is YOUR thread! we will have a good time!

(participants: basically no question is off limits, so ask away- but if she doesn't feel comfortable answering, she doesn't have to!)

These first few basic questions so we can all remember who you are!
Name:
Age:
Location:
DDC Baby's Name:
Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies):

And a few more so we can get to know you better!
What number pregnancy was this for you?:
Occupation:
Hobbies/Interests:
Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself:

[Tattooed Hand]

Name: Mana

Age: 34

Location: Cambridge, MA (though this is not where I am from, just where we've somewhat reluctantly ended up for the last 6 years due to school)

DDC Baby's Name: Rassa June

Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies): Just my DH. We've been together for 9.5 years (10 years this summer!) and married for 6.5. Who knew that drunken escapades in NYC in our early 20s would lead here!

What number pregnancy was this for you?: #2 (I had one abortion summer of 2001)

Occupation: I'm finishing (the long finish interrupted by pregnancy and baby) my dissertation, teaching university classes. I hope to be a teacher and scholar ever after.

Hobbies/Interests: I love bike riding, Bikram yoga, not living the car bound lifestyle, reading (so much that though I basically do it for a living, I also do it to unwind, but then I read different stuff from "work"), traveling, writing, learning, community and hanging out with my true friends (it's getting more dififcult to make those) and family. I used to love rock and roll (and especially live music), drugs and counterculture, defying authority, radical politics - I still love those things but they tend to have less of a place in my life. Maybe not the last two.

Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself: Hm. I'm both outgoing and private. I'm part Iranian, part Burmese. I speak 4 languages. And I have 3 tattoos.

[nina_yyc]

I've been dying to ask this. What is the tattoo of on your hand? What are your other tattoos?

[Tattooed Hand]

Ironically, none of my tattoos are on my hand. A favorite character in a book I read years ago has a tattoo on her hand and my online self is named after her.

I have a tattoo of the middle eastern symbol for androgyny (also the Prince symbol) just below my belly button (totally painful to get, but seems to have survived my pregnancy intact). I also have a tattoo on each shoulder. One is a black sun, the symbol of regeneration (one of the symbols of the sun sign Scorpio) in astrological iconography. The other is a 12 leaf lotus, an ancient Persian symbol of fidelity. The first 2 I got when I was 17 and 19, then last one I got a couple of years ago with the first of my research fellowship money. hehe.

[beep]

Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand

Ironically, none of my tattoos are on my hand. A favorite character in a book I read years ago has a tattoo on her hand and my online self is named after her.

What was the book? What are your favorite things to read when not working? What kinds of things do you read when you are working?

Also, I was interested by ithappened's question to me about my experience: how (if at all) do you think having had an abortion affected your experience of this pregnancy?

[Awaken]

what is your dissertation on and what type of classes do you teach?

[fazer6]

\what languages do you speak, do you want to learn any more?

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by beep

What was the book? What are your favorite things to read when not working? What kinds of things do you read when you are working?

Also, I was interested by ithappened's question to me about my experience: how (if at all) do you think having had an abortion affected your experience of this pregnancy?

the book was called The Darkness that Comes Before and it's a historical fantasy novel set during the Crusades. The author is a friend of a friend (who wrote the book as procrastination from writing his dissertation - I had a baby instead!) and while I had some problems with the book, I enjoyed her character.

I really like fantasy novels, historical fiction and when possible, historical fantasy. I like the history part and I think the fantasy part allows for liberties where the story telling and interpretation can get really interesting and creative. I really like Guy Gavriel Kay's stuff, for instance.

I read a pretty wide variety of stuff for school. My scholarship and teaching are interdisciplinary, drawing on literature, history, anthropology and politics. So I keep up with gender studies, Middle East, South Asian and British imperial studies. Engseng Ho's book The Graves of Tarim on the culture of Indian Ocean migration is a fav. I also like to keep abreast of thematic topics in other fields like friendship. Alan Bray's book, The Friend, (on the history of friendship in Europe and England in particular) is one of my favorite books.

Well the abortion was a horrible experience - I had been dating DH for about 9 months and things were serious, but we hadn't even talked about the next step. We were both in grad school, both dirt poor, I was still smoking and drinking up a storm, etc. We were also both haunted by the sector of our parents, both of whom had had babies really young with people they hadn't known that long and we had both watched their relationships deteriorate once the kids were grown. Both our parents, particularly our mothers were and still are somewhat filled with resentment that they never had an adult life that wasn't about being a (traditional) wife and a mother. But it was the first time that what to do about a pregnancy was a not a no brainer. Anyway, these were the circumstances. I felt incredibly sad about it (I was even pretty depressed for months after) and vowed never to be in such a position again. I also had an infection afterward, wasn't that interested in sex for almost a year after and my body went in a hormonal flux (like I lost weight, gained weight, broke out in acne, lost hair, etc).

This pregnancy was such a joyous experience. We'd had years together to grow really close and work out a bunch of stuff, in essence grow up together. We'd done the things we wanted career/school wise, lived in different places, traveled together, separately, pay off our massive debts, and even save some money. I am much healthier, more informed and mature. I had a great pregnancy and my dream birth. All the things that went wrong with my body hormonally from the abortion that never got better went away! I always wonder what it would be like to have an 8 year old and feel sad about what happened, but ultimately, I think the best thing happened for everyone. I almost feel like the tremendous committment I made to have a healthy pregnancy (all the research, reading, eating and cooking well, exercise and care I took) redeemed me.

I know abortion is a touchy subject - I am just sharing my experience, not passing judgment on anyone who might chose to do differently and I hope my own choices don't offend anyone.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by Awaken

what is your dissertation on and what type of classes do you teach?

My work is broadly cultural history, the history of ideas, of what it was like to be in the world in a certain time and place. I am totally fascinated with that. Too often our own notions that are specific to our time and place are projected elsewhere and that becomes the lens through which we can understand others or imagine alternatives.

My dissertation is on ideas of self and community, home and origin in the Persian speaking world (Iran, Central and South Asia) in the 18th century, the crucial century before the rise of nationalism and its dominance over understandings the above ideas. Nationalism and other parochial notions of community are responsible for many tragedies and injustices in the world and I wanted to look at what it might have been like to live in a time when a person's sense of being in the world was differently constituted. Persian was sort of the Latin of that region and if you were educated, you knew Persian. So I look at how this cultural sharing - ethics, literature and literary references, comportment, poetry, and forms of social interaction like friendship - functioned to augment and transcend differences of religion, gender and place of origin to create alternate forms of community and foster social harmony.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by fazer6

\what languages do you speak, do you want to learn any more?

I speak English (obviously), French, Hindi/Urdu, Persian. I'd to learn Arabic and Ottoman Turkish, as well as Sanskrit.

[carmel23]

Do you anticipate that parenthood will change/ and or reinforce you values, and if so, in what ways?

and I am curious abichout your use of the word 'parochial...' My associations with the word are quite the opposite of nationalistic... it is just you local parish, the people you live with in your community.

[doclegs]

When you're done with your degree, what part of the country do you want to end up in? Do you want to be in a teaching or research college environment?

How long have you been doing yoga? What is the difference between Bikram yoga and other types of yoga?

[evinmom]

Where have you traveled to and what place is your favorite?

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by carmel23

Do you anticipate that parenthood will change/ and or reinforce you values, and if so, in what ways?

and I am curious abichout your use of the word 'parochial...' My associations with the word are quite the opposite of nationalistic... it is just you local parish, the people you live with in your community.

That's a good question, I don't know. My values and ideas of how to live are always growing and changing, as I am always trying to learn and evolve. I do feel pretty strongly about not ramming gender roles down my kid's (or kids' as I want more) throat. I do think that I am now more willing to put my career on hold and take this time to be with Rassa and any other children we may have when they are small. Then the plan is for DH to stay home with the kids after the first couple of years when I get THE job. I also want to try to do what my parents did with me - not being too forceful about things like religion so that I could chose for myself or making alot of things illicit (and thus desireable) instead of talking through their potential implications (like drugs or sex).

Parochial certainly means to do with a parish and from that (or vice versa) comes the broader meaning of the word as a closed or narrow community. It can also connote as provincial, in opposition to the implication of something as cosmopolitan.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by doclegs

When you're done with your degree, what part of the country do you want to end up in? Do you want to be in a teaching or research college environment?

How long have you been doing yoga? What is the difference between Bikram yoga and other types of yoga?

DH and I are increasingly wanting to go back to the West coast to be near one or both of our families. I'm from southern California and he's from the northwest. He hates LA and I disliked Seattle, but we could both happily live in Portland, OR (where we both lived separately before we met).

I have been doing Bikram yoga on and off since 2002, but in 2005 I quit smoking and started doing it regularly 3-4 times a week and it's made a really positive difference in my life, both physically and mentally. I feel that the mental discipline and the physical practice were really a huge part of my fast and easy birth.

I don't have a lot of experience with other types of yoga - I've only gone to a few prenatal yoga classes and twice to other types of yoga before pregnancy. I wasn't into any of them because I feel like it's mentally intrusive (some tell you what to feel and think about). I like that in Bikram it's the same 26 postures and so after a while you know what you are doing and in the course of being in every posture in that moment and concentrating really hard on what the different parts of your body are doing, you find this mental peace. It's an 90 minute moving open eye meditation and a real nice counter balance to academic work. It's also in a 105 degree room and I love to be hot and I love the sweating, which feels like I am getting a cleansing from the inside out. The heat also allows for me to go deeply into postures without worrying about hurting myself.

I practiced straight through pregnancy 3 times a week up through 37 weeks and just got back in the hot room this week for the first time in 2 months. It felt SO good.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by evinmom

Where have you traveled to and what place is your favorite?

Well I was born in Iran (Tehran) and though my family moved here when I was 4 (during the 1979 Revolution), I've been back several times for long visits and I love it there. I know you'd never know it based on the media coverage but the society and culture are very warm and filled with interesting people and I feel as much at home there as I do here.

I've also spent time in France, the UK, Egypt, India and Burma (Myanmar). I love Myanmar the most because the people are the kindest and most easy going people I have ever been around. most people are pretty poor, but it's the safest place you could ever imagine. You can walk down the street with your hands literally full of money, and no one would take anything from you. I've actually seen this. It's also the most gender egalitarian place I've ever been, including the US.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand

That's a good question, I don't know. My values and ideas of how to live are always growing and changing, as I am always trying to learn and evolve. I do feel pretty strongly about not ramming gender roles down my kid's (or kids' as I want more) throat. I do think that I am now more willing to put my career on hold and take this time to be with Rassa and any other children we may have when they are small. Then the plan is for DH to stay home with the kids after the first couple of years when I get THE job. I also want to try to do what my parents did with me - not being too forceful about things like religion so that I could chose for myself or making alot of things illicit (and thus desireable) instead of talking through their potential implications (like drugs or sex).

Parochial certainly means to do with a parish and from that (or vice versa) comes the broader meaning of the word as a closed or narrow community. It can also connote as provincial, in opposition to the implication of something as cosmopolitan.

Duh, my 'nursing brain' was like, "what does this have to do with a parish?" but of course, I understand now. Thank you for the explanation of parochial...

I had another question, but my DH's gender-role bending Chicken Tikka Masala is calling

[DCMama01]

Which language(s) will you speak in your home to Rassa? Is DH bilingual/multilingual?

[Tattooed Hand]

I speak to a mix of Persian and English to her, which is what I grew up speaking at home. mostly Persian though, english when it's something too complex that I want DH to understand. French and Hindi occasionally pop out, but those are languages I learned later in life and I speak them with particular friends and family.

DH and I lived with my parents when we were down and out a few years ago and he took a class after that briefly. It wasn't a very good class though. So he understands limited, basic Persian and plans to learn more because I definitely want her to learn it. It helps that my mom and extended family in general in Southern Cali are very involved with the kids in my family and they all speak Persian full time since there is a huge community there.

[cloudbutterfly]

What are you looking forward to teaching Rassa, showing her about the world?