2nd on the way - Need reassurance

[Headmeister]

Mods - I'm posting here because I wanted a broad spectrum of people in various stages of parenthood to respond. If it needs to be moved, please do so.

My situation, as briefly as possible:

DH and I had a little money in the bank when we had our DD in Sept of 08 and I was able to take a full 12wks maternity because of it (was on state unemployment for 8 weeks, 1wk vacation & 3wks unpaid) At the end of my maternity leave we placed her in daycare to the tune of $900. We were pretty much completely extended financially at that point and I wasn't sure where the money was going to come from, but after redoing our budget, it was almost magically there. Since then we have used our tax return to pre-pay for daycare to take the monthly financial burden off of us.

For personal reasons, we decided to get pregnant again now (I'm 39) regardless of the money issue and I'm now due in July. This child will also need to go to daycare to the tune of an additional $900, costing us nearly $2k a month. We are both employed F/T and don't really have the opportunity to add any additional income. We don't have any family within an hour from our home either to possibly ask to watch our children while we worked extra hours at P/T jobs, and we can't work from home. We also can't afford to have one of us stay home to alleviate the cost of daycare (which isn't the highest I've seen in my area - it's actually close to the lowest rates and they're the best care we've found - they're amazing and we love them).

My question: Have any of you ever found yourself in a position of being in financial straights and pregnant? Did things work out? I think I need reassurance that things will work out this time around the same way they did the first time, but I just can't stop worrying about it...

BTW - I'm sorry if you are a person who feels as if people who can't afford to have children shouldn't have them. If that were the case, this world would be very sparsely populated. We are not destitute, we're actually pretty ok - but we are just finding ourselves in a pickle when it comes to finding an additional $1,000 a month.

Thank you for listening...

[octobermom]

When I got pregant with my first back in 2002 I was in college and my DH was a professor earning around $40,000 so it never occured to us we'd have financial issues.. Then when I was 7 months along the school slashed the budget and DH was out of a job. We didn't have a lot in savings as we was fairly new to the job he had and me at 7 months along wasn't going to be finding work right them.. He found a tempory teaching position at a decent salary but to get it we had to move (so I dropped out of college) and it was tempory so it jsut bought us a few months..
That whole ordeal started a 7 year income struggle for us we did it all over those years except daycare beacause financially we just couldn't it was never an option (not that I was totally against the idea). There were times where DH worked 3 seperate jobs and I worked evenings basically playing pass the kid to each other as we raced off for the next shirt. Times where we had to give up everything and rely on Goverment assistance to get through a season and times where things magically just worked....
There was no glamour in the financial aspect but our marriage was strong and we found lots of ways to stay happy and appreciate what we did have. We also opened our selfs to to having more kids even during tough times though it never happened... Then last Winter DH moved from an adjunct faculity member with no benifits and around $16,000 a year to a full time $50,000 with benifits and another $8,000 a year in overtime loads.. and we are expecting #2 in March.

Deanna

[jillmamma]

Have you considered other options for daycare that maybe would be less expensive? Like in-home vs. a center or a nanny (since you have 2 that need care)? I know around here, in-home care is much cheaper for infants than centers. Or, since you will have 2 that need childcare, would your income qualify for any assistance? I hope things work out for you, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

[babsbob]

Well, things always work out if you stay positive.

DH and I both had really great good-paying jobs when we got pregnant with #2 and then we both got laid off within a month of each other when I was 6-7 months pregnant! Well they closed my office - but luckily my company let me work from home until after I gave birth and my maternity leave was over. I didn't know they were going to do that when they gave me the bad news so I was really grateful. DH found a much better job and I just decided to stay home instead of trying to find some job where most of my paycheck would go to daycare. It really has been a struggle sometimes but I know I could always go find a weekend job if things got really desperate. You just have to decide how much money you really need every month - cut back where you can. Explore all your options and go from there. Also - the daycare should give you a sibling discount of at least 10% if that helps.

[snoopy5386]

do either one of you have jobs in a field where one of you could switch to opposite shift work? IE Mom works 7-3 and Dad works 4-11? One parent is always with the kids and no need for daycare?

[snoopy5386]

you can also use a flexible spending account to pay for daycare with pre-tax dollars. That could save you quite a bit (20-30%)
http://moneyning.com/money-tips/depe...g-account-fsa/

[Kuba'sMama]

Hi!
Money's always been tight here. We found ourselves pregnant while I was finishing college and dh was just due to start. We lived off 10 000 dollars (CAD) per year for 3 years! After dh finished school he got a better paying job, but as a cabinetmaker/woodworker it's still tight. But we rent, so we don't have debt... basically just paycheck to paycheck and a lot of doing without and making what we need. Living simply is more than a hobby for us, it's a necessity! Oddly, we never feel deprived
Things do have a way of working out. One way I always make myself feel better when I'm down about the things we don't have is to think about what we DO have and how lucky we are to have good homemade food, clean clothes, friends, family, free healthcare, safe neighbourhood, etc. Good luck!