I Want to Pull Them Right Now . . .

[Purple Cat]

I have twins in a public preschool. The year has been wretched. The teachers are wonderful and kind, but the administrator and administrative personnel have been surreal. They have repeatedly and flagrantly violated federal laws. For instance, trying to exclude DD because of her food allergies, insisting I waive all liability and indemnify them before they would permit DD to attend school. I am personally attacked at every juncture by the administrator, being told I am NOT to put anything in writing and if I do, I will be very uncomfortable and very unhappy there. (I'm not one to cave to such bullying. I send letters documenting all their illegal conduct. I view the written documentation as giving them the chance to rectify it or documenting that they had notice and knowledge of their illegal actions and refused to correct it for legal and regulatory actions.)

Anyway, I did not want to cower and leave until I had a 504 Plan, which gives my DD legal protection as a disabled person. I have it now. (And yes. Legal action is in the works.)

My children are not being challenged. They teach a letter a day. My DD has known all her letters since she turned 2. I really don't like that at all.

The problem is my DD loves her teacher and has a best friend in the class that she talks about all the time. (I've never met this girl's mom. I'd love to have the girl over (with her mom if they wished), and have thought about sending a note.) My son is unhappy with school. He's not challenged. He serves more as the role model for other kids.

I just find myself not wanting to get out of bed and wanting to sleep.

I'm not sending them to school next year; they have August b-days and K is full day here. My plan is to homeschool at least 1/2 time or more, with them taking music or fun classes at school.

I think I teach them far more than they learn at school. Based on the K report card, DD already has tackled most of their agenda. We go to museums. We read a lot.

I just want to keep them home. I guess DD loving her teacher and having her best friend there is the nugget I don't know what to do with.

[kathymuggle]

What does your partner think?

Do you think your DD is safe in school with her allergies (are they handling things safely?)

[jeteaa]

My girls are taking a art class 2x/week. They have bonded with the teacher and we think of her as a family friend. With this class, my dc can be with this teacher for many years to come. IF they were in school, they would get a year and only a year with each teacher (good or bad). So IMO hsing allows our dc to make stronger bonds w/ other kids and adults than school does.

[Purple Cat]

I'm a single mom by choice, so I get the one and only vote. We have a very good allergy plan at school, and numerous changes were made that strengthened her protection. They weren't happily made or willingly made. But I did end up with very good food allergy protections in place.

[LauraLoo]

PurpleCat - I've been following your plight for awhile. I'm glad to know that you have a 504 in place!

But it really seems that there are other issues here. Even if the school hadn't given you all sorts of grief over your dd's allergies, there's still the educational component. 504 or no 504, their educational needs aren't being met.

Your dd will have other opportunities to meet other children and develop new friendships and your ds will get an opportunity to make friends and enjoy learning. You want to homeschool. Seems pretty cut and dry to me.

You can always try to make contact with your dd's friend's mother and arrange a playdate. That might be enough to pacify your dd while making the transition, and potentially you could keep up with the friendship while homeschooling. I'd definitely send a note to the mom.

GL! I'm rooting for you!

[Savoir Faire]

I say pull em out. It sucks to leave behind friends...I understand. We had to do it last year when we moved out of state and my kids lost their preschool friends.

But...life is too short to be miserable.

(I need to take my own advice...I'm considering removing my son from preschool too...except I just don't like to "let people down" --like they'd really even care we left-- so Keep trying to stick it out.)

GO WITH YOUR GUT!

[ReadingMama]

Yeah, I second going with your gut! We did the public preschool thing and stuck it out through kindergarten. It was a mistake. The stress, the anxiety--it was unnecessary. Even if your kids are doing ok, your school-related stress could affect them after a while. If you're getting this much resistance about food allergies, imagine how it would be if one of your kids develops a learning difference or behavioral problem! Preschool is completely optional! Your kids will be fine without it. Really! Good luck in making your decision.

[SoulCakes]

Can you get the phone number of the girl's mother, so she and your daughter can keep in touch? There's no reason for a friendship to end just because your DD no longer goes to her school.

[kittie313]

As a mom to a kid with multiple food allergies, pull them. If the school won't work with you, then the kids shouldn't be there. But I would definitely make the effort to try and keep your dd's friendship going if possible. My oldest dd's best friend is a girl she met the first night of our hs group meetings last school year, even though they now live about 2 1/2 hours away. They talk on the phone and e-mail as best they can (yes at 6yo they do that stuff lol its so cute) and her mom and I try to get together once a month or so to allow the girls a chance to play for a while. A good friendship is hard to find sometimes, so you should try to keep it going if possible.

[WorldsBestMom]

I think you should pull your kid out from that school and try to find a better school that not only caters to your child mental development but also their health and well being. Health and well being comes first. You can try home schooling them if you can or find a better preschool. Allergies are to be taken seriously and clearly the school administration does not realize that.

[Purple Cat]

Thank you for the validation and encouragement. I wrote a note to the mother of my DD's friend to let her know I'd love to get the girl's together outside class and inviting her over. I had a long talk with my DD last night about how we would go to all these places (homeschool gyms, etc.) where she could meet lots of kids and play a long time with them, instead of playing for 20 minutes and then having to line up and go sit down for calendar time, etc. She seemed pretty enthused. We talked about making her beloved teacher a special valentine and bead necklace, etc.

Thank you. I felt so much relief I actually made a lot of progress on organizing the toy room!

[ChristaN]

Good luck with this. I know from personal experience that it is always bittersweet to leave a school even if it is the right choice. There are almost always some good things even if the overall picture isn't good and it hurts to say goodbye to those things and people whom you love.

It does sound like you are moving in the right direction for your family, though. I wish you much joy and peace in your new direction.

[kittywitty]

I say pull them. If it were me. My oldest attended kindy and HATED it. The schools weren't as bad as you described and her teachers were great...but it just wasn't working. I don't regret it a bit.

[phathui5]

It doesn't sound like you have any reason to keep them in school. Why are they going?

[ReadingMama]

Great job, PurpleCat! Way to be pro-active! Your sense of relief is a clue that you're headed in the right direction!

[Purple Cat]

The person floating as she walks and glowing with happiness and relief is me. I pulled them. I haven't felt this good since last June when my schools and food allergy nightmare began.

[MamaDona]

Good for you and for them! What a great feeling!

[LauraLoo]

Congratulations!

[ReadingMama]

Woo hoo! Welcome to your new life of freedom!!!!

[Purple Cat]

Readingmama, your smiley left me laughing out loud! Too grand.

We went to a kid's sport class and then spent a few hours at the homeschool open gym at the rec center. There were over 20 kids, many close in age. My kids had a blast!!!

I'm so glad we made the move.

Thank you.