Transitioning to crib - Help!

[Hayeser]

I have a 5month old and in a few wks I plan to transition her to the crib. I've been cosleeping with her at night and during the day she sleeps in the swing or on my bed by herself (under close supervision with the video monitor). This has been working GREAT for us so far, but I've read that by 6mos kiddos need to be moved to their crib or else it's much harder to make the transition.

Anyway, she's never slept in her crib and now I'm VERY nervous about how this transition is going to go. I've kind of tried the past few nights to put her in her crib when she's sleepy and she cries the instant I leave her. I've tried to go back and resassure her without picking her up, but she just keeps getting more upset that I'm not picking her up. I need some advice on what works for other moms, please!

I also should say that DD loves to eat a lot &/or use my boob as a pacifier (she won't take a real pacifier) throughout the night. She wakes about 4 times a night in our bed simply because she wants to be snuggled and nursed.

I need some help. I really don't want to let her cry it out. any other suggestions? My older child transitioned soooo easily (less than 10 mins of whining in the crib) at 6 mos, but I don't see this happening with my DD.
help!!

[phrogger]

My advice would be don't do it yet. She isn't ready and it sounds like you aren't either. Tonight will be my first night trying to put my 7 month old in his crib at night. I started out with putting him into his co sleeper and he would lay there, wide awake and fall asleep on his own. Then of course wake up a few hours later and move into bed with me. Then I started putting him in his crib for his naps. Again, awake and he would fall asleep on his own. Not a peep, no crying at all. I could just turn on the mobile and he would doze off. If I were still nursing him till he was sound asleep I don't think I would even bother.

That said, my oldest was like you are describing your dd and he moved into his own bed with no problems. He is 13 and doesn't sleep with me, so I wouldn't worry at all if your infant still needs you. There will be a day where she wont. I wouldn't rush into things too quickly.

This of course is from a momma who is just in shock at how quickly our babies grow up and would give anything to slow them down a bit. Don't rush it.

Oh and I am only transitioning him now because I don't want to wake him up. I am noticing I am waking him up just with my normal night time routine to get myself into bed. He seems like he is needing more sleep.

[evening start]

I've just been reading a great book called "Bedtiming" by Marc Lewis and Isabela Granic which talks about infant development and it's influence on sleep and sleep training. They don't advocate any particular sleep training method, but do say that there are better and worse times to change your babies sleep habits. At 5 months your daughter is still in a difficult phase, but from about 5 1/2 to 7 1/2 months they claim there is a good developmental window for working on new sleep habits. I would definitely wait a few weeks to a month and then try the transition again. And if it still doesn't seem like quite the right time for you and your daughter, then you can wait until the next developmental window. The authors claim that this 5 1/2 to 7 1/2 month window is the easiest, but there are other easy times later (they talk about developmental phases up to 5 years old), so it is not as cut and dried as do it by 6 months or it will be too hard. Good luck.

[wombatclay]

You might also look into the No Cry Sleep Solution (by Elizabeth Pantley, excerpts here) and Good Nights (by Dr Gordon, excerpts here). They both discuss sleep options and ways to ensure that everyone is getting the sleep they need. Please don't feel like you "have" to do something right now... every child is different, every family is different, and if something doesn't feel right to you or to your child then it probably isn't the right option at the moment.

I hope you find a good balance!

[MamaPhD]

What we did was we had DD take naps in the crib in her room while she was in a bassinet in our room. So she was getting used to the crib for short periods of time - not the whole night. We did that for about 2-3 weeks. We also played withher in the crib to get her associating the crib with happy feelings.

When we moved her to crib for night time(around 3 months old), we rocked or nursed her to sleep, then put her down. We had a rolled up blankie that we nudged against her back so she was very slightly tilted and felt like something/someone was there next to her - not she is alone in the big crib.

For the next 1-2 months (4-5 months old), most times, she woke up when we put her down on the crib and fussed/cried, etc. We ALWAYS picked her up, sooth, rock, nurse, whatever it took, then put her down again. It's true they have to learn to sooth themselves, but that took us weeks not days. Please don't feel bad soothing your little one - it's OK! You won't ruin them forever, which is what most people will tell you. They are all wrong! Well, at least for my DD, that is.

From about 6 months old, DD didn't always wake up when put down on the crib. Maybe 30% of the time, she would slightly open her eyes, then close them again. Other times, I would pick her up, sooth, then put her down again. Sometimes I had to do this multiple times, other times, only once. By now, we've introduced her to a lovey, she she holds it whenever she sleeps, in addition to the rolled up blankie nudging her side, still. She also woke up once per night aroundn 3-4am until about 10months old. I nursed her back to sleep, less and less from about 5-10 minutes of nursing, down to 1 minutes. I could just get in, nurse, out, back in my bed, in NO TIME! Gradually, night feeding shifted later and later then disappeared.

Fast forward to now, DD is 13 month old, I still nurse her to naps/bed time. But she is pretty fully awake. I put her down in the crib. then she talks/complains for 10-15 min. she also plays music machine in her crib. THen she falls alseep on her own and sleeps through the night!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to resort to CIO, if you can do a gradual gentle transition. Sure it does take a while, but I feel that is the nature of child development. Same as crawling or walking, or teething. Everything takes time to blossom and learning to sleep is the same. You just have to support your baby through it.

[Lilly Milly]

We did the gradual approach like the PP with no CIO. We started with naps in the crib during the day. We'd get her to sleep whatever way worked at first - in wrap, sling, rocking in our arms, etc. and lay her in crib. Sometimes she'd wake up during transition and I'd have to wear her or whatever. Even if it only works for one nap a day at first, you just try to move in the direction of sleeping in the crib and on her own.

Our DD is almost 6 months and she always sleeps in the crib, but we usually have to rock her to sleep in our arms. I'd like to get her so she can fall asleep on her own more (my neck and back are killing me!) but we are okay with it being a very gradual process if that means she won't have to CIO. The amount of rocking time is getting shorter and a routine really helped us with this. She has had a set bedtime (between 7:30 and 8) for a long time and it only takes 5-10 minutes now before we lay her down in crib.

What I'm starting to do for naps now is to lay her down in crib when she's awake but sleepy. If that doesn't work (never does, but I'm hopeful!) then I rock her to sleep. She had a phase at about 4 months where this worked well, but I think the inconsistency between her MIL (who keeps her during workweek) and I underminded the progress a bit.

[Abraisme]

Personally, I think that 6mo is very young to move your baby into a crib. Some children actually need to sleep next to someone until they're 5+ years old. Co-sleeping is supposed to be for the benefit on your child and I think that no child is ready to sleep alone that young. Most adults don't even like to sleep alone, why would a baby? There are books all over the place that say all sorts of things, it doesn't make them true. I can find 5 books right now that say you should never sleep with your baby or hold them too much, you wouldn't want a spoiled baby..

I co-slept with my son and he went easily to his own bed at 2. He never tries to get in bed with us, that's just not his personality. Other kids are going to try to sneak in bed with you until they're 10, whether you put them in a crib or not. My DH has ALWAYS needed to sleep with someone else. That meant when he was young he snuck in bed with one of his brothers every night. Please, cator this to your child, it's all about making your baby comfortable so that she can feel comfortable for the rest of her life.

[Hayeser]

gosh, you guys have been so helpful. thank you. my pediatrician is the one telling me that the transition has to happen at 6mos or else I'm in for it, but it makes TOTAL sense to tune in to what my baby needs. She's very attached to me right now and she's so happy and relaxed when she sees that we're going to bed together to cosleep. I just can't take that away from her right now.

thanks a bunch!!