New job possibility ... am I doing the right thing?

[MariesMama]

I have a chance at a full time job that would REALLY boost my resume and of course includes benefits and insurance. I just don't know if it's a good move for me ... mamas please help!

Background: I waitress right now. $3.00 base pay, plus tips. I bring home anywhere from $300 - $800 a week, and pay $40 a day for a sitter in my home. I'm guaranteed three days a week and can work up to five, but with money tight for everyone it's been hard to get extra days. I work afternoons or evenings. I'm getting burned out as I have a BA and would really like to move out of the area eventually (hometown).

The new job is at the same employer. I would be making just under $16 an hour, salary, 45 hours a week. With this experience, I could get a job almost anywhere in the country later. I would continue to have a sitter in my home, as the new job has similar hours to my current one - there are no 24 hour daycares in my area, and I like to think that I'm probably saving in the long run since DD isn't picking up every bug that goes around and causing me to stay home with her.

Would this be the right thing to do? Blaaaaah why is this so difficult.

(It would also help my self esteem to have a "real" job instead of one where I wear a silly uniform and do mindless work. Just saying.)

[Rosehip]

What is your hesitation? It seems like a move up, career-wise. The money would average out to probably be a bit better, similar hours, you're already familiar with the employer...what's the downside?

[Tilia]

I would do it as long as they don't keep pushing you for more hours with the same salary.

[MariesMama]

I guess I feel like I should feel bad about not being able to spend as much time with DD.

I'll technically be able to get an increase in child support too, if my ex puts up a stink and wants it recalculated. I'm not claiming any daycare expenses on our current arrangement and he'd actually end up paying almost double what he does now. So it's a win/win situation.

[EricaDoula]

Sounds like a great opportunity!

[doubledutch]

i would probably do that, if there are no other drawbacks. it sounds like you already work 40+ hours when the shifts are available, anyway, so you already know you & dd can handle it.

[meemee]

yup this is a hard place to be. your needs vs your dd's needs.

but instead of dc you would be doing sitter at home. that helps.

would you keep the same sitter. what about ps? would u be sending your dd to ps? would the sitter be willing to take her if you dont? would the sitter be willing to take her to any class you might sign your dd up to.

how is your work? how family friendly are they? is 45 hours realistic or would they expect you to work more? how about the weekends? because once you go on salary - they dont have to pay you overtime.

i know you are caught but get ur priorities. what does your dd need? are her needs more important than yours? these are valid questions. i was done at 2. i had to go back to work and i wanted to too. i was v. done with being a SAHM. i couldnt get anything short of a full time position. my dd had a really really hard time. and that changed me. it helped me focus on my priorities. yup life hasnt changed much - still poor, still struggling - but much happier that i am able to give dd time. there is a satisfaction in my life now knowing that i chose it, not thats what i was handed down. there is a sense of freedom in that. to me that is most important to me. however its not at my cost. i now go to school full time and i juggle my time in such a way that i can pick up dd from school rather than have her in an after school program. we lead a v. simple life which both dd and i chose to do.

if you are not sure, this job might help make up your mind for you.

if you decide to decline (that is if you were offered) would that affect your employment right now?

i think the key factor in taking the job would be how family friendly they are. what if your child fell ill and you had to miss a few days. maybe a week? would they allow you to bring work home eventually?

[MariesMama]

Meemee - these are the questions I needed to see written out. Thank you.

DD's sitters come to the house and are available more days. Sort of a "Babysitters Club" kind of thing going on - ridiculously organized with background checks and everything. DD LOVES THEM. They read, do crafts, play outside, you name it they do it. I have her on a wait list for preschool but won't be able to get her into it until 2011, when she is 3.

I may get stuck with more hours than the straight 45, but highly doubt it. Business has been slowing down lately and there isn't much need for it. The people currently in the position love it and haven't mentioned any craziness.

Work isn't terribly family friendly, but if your child is sick you can stay home as long as you have a doctor's note. Which does stink, because we generally don't go to the doctor unless things are out of control, IE no going in for a cold/flu. But I can handle that too.

Also, my BF and I will be moving in together this summer, and that will alleviate some of the stress, as he will be home with DD at times.

Thank you sooo much! Now just cross your fingers that I get the job!

[LoveOhm]

I say go for it but make sure to have you take time to transition your dd - it is indeed okay to ask to start in a week or maybe even two. While it was said earlier you would be weighing your needs vs. your daughter's and in my experience that is not truly the full scope.

You can provide a better more stable life or yourself and your daughter when you have a secure income and career path. This is even more important as a single mom. Also you are laying a foundation for several years to come not just right now. Find ways to make it work with a positive outlook and it will work.