My daughter hates loveys...maybe?

[daniturtle]

We are slowly beginning to night-wean our 15-month old - mostly using the various techniques in No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley. One of the ideas she mentions is to let / encourage your child to have a lovey. I tried to encourage this kind of relationship between my daughter and a lovey of her choosing (or even my choosing) when she was younger and she was having none of it! And still to this day she quite forcefully rejects any kind of stuffed animal or blankie with a head type of loveys. She tosses them aside or vigourously and frantically signs "all done" (her version of "No! Take that away! WHY do you think I would ever want that horrible thing?! ).

Should I just chill? Or should I keep trying? She "has" a number of stuffed animals and blankie loveys and soft dolls that people have given us so it's not like she doesn't have a choice. Back in the day I slept with a couple of them in my shirt so they would take on my smell. This worked NOT AT ALL. She loves to sleep all snuggled up against me or her dad. I would love it if she would snuggle up to a lovey instead....sometimes I want my sleeping space (ok, I almost ALWAYS want my sleeping space!)

Any advice for encouraging lovey relationships in a toddler? (you can tell me to just LET IT GO, already, I won't be offended!)

[erratum]

yeah, let it go. they will or won't form a lovey relationship on their own with whatever they choose.
i read the same info and tried to encourage my LO as well but he wanted nothing to do with loveys at all at that age. Then he only wanted non-traditional loveys. He went through a long series of strange loveys: spoons, forks, bobby pins, two hole punches and a calculator that he carried and slept with together all the time, various Mr. Potatohead parts that he called "ice creams" etc etc.

[Krisis]

I'm totally bummed that my DS doesn't like loveys, but he doesn't. I took him to Build-A-Bear, let him make his own, took him to a place with stuffed horses and let him pick his own horse... nope.

He's got several stuffed animals but doesn't really like them, so I just try to hope he'll grow into liking them otherwise that's a looot of money I could have spent on ice cream

[daniturtle]

Then he only wanted non-traditional loveys. He went through a long series of strange loveys: spoons, forks, bobby pins, two hole punches and a calculator that he carried and slept with together all the time, various Mr. Potatohead parts that he called "ice creams" etc etc.

LOL! Thalia is like this too-- she loves spice jars, balls, spoons, blocks, etc that she carries around and will sometimes insist on sleeping with. Funny kids.

I just try to hope he'll grow into liking them otherwise that's a looot of money I could have spent on ice cream

LOL again! I'm going to eat ice cream now every time I want to buy a lovey!!!

[blizzard_babe]

DS, 20 months, just found his first lovey. Stuffed animal? No. Doll? No. Blankie? No. My old, worn gray hoodie? Yup.

[slgt]

DD picked loveys completely on her own, when she was about 18 mos. old. Before that - nothing. There was one little bear that she showed interest in one day, so I made sure it was sort of in sight and around at sleepytimes, but did not make an issue out of it. One night, it suddenly became critical that "roar" (her name for her bear) slept with her. About 3 weeks ago, she ditched bear for dolly, and was desperately attached for several days.

I would say, don't force it - just make sure there are a few appropriate things around/accessible, but don't force the issue. If she doesn't want them in her crib, fine. If she one day finds one and has to have it, great!

[rvamommy]

My DD wouldn't attach to anything but me until about a month ago (she is 18 m/o now). She has a doll that she likes that she bonded with b/c every night before bed & before naps I say it's sleepy time for her and baby and I hold them both while she nurses. When I put her in bed I ask if she wants her baby and when she says yes I tuck it under her arm. Now she ahs started carrying her around the house a bit and wanting her to sit w/ her in her chair at some meals (so cute!!). I even saw her trying to feed her some cracker the other day.

Anyways, I think it was the snuggling while nursing that made the attachment.
Good luck!

[elleystar]

Originally Posted by rvamommy

My DD wouldn't attach to anything but me until about a month ago (she is 18 m/o now). She has a doll that she likes that she bonded with b/c every night before bed & before naps I say it's sleepy time for her and baby and I hold them both while she nurses. When I put her in bed I ask if she wants her baby and when she says yes I tuck it under her arm. Now she ahs started carrying her around the house a bit and wanting her to sit w/ her in her chair at some meals (so cute!!). I even saw her trying to feed her some cracker the other day.

Anyways, I think it was the snuggling while nursing that made the attachment.
Good luck!

My DS is the same. At Christmas (he was 20 mo) we gave him a cuddle doll from Nova and wouldn't you know it, he really took to it. (A big gamble since all he seems to care about is tractors!) He loves to sleep with it, and carry it around some. When DS had a cold, he would take our battery-op nose sucker and suck the doll's nose out, and try to give it tylenol. He also tries to feed it and give it drinks of my coffee, lol. But all my attempts at finding a lovey bombed just like OP's. Any little stuffed animal or soft blankie that I tried to hold between us while nursing was promptly rejected, starting at around 7 mo. He loves having Blue (his doll) between us though, and occasionally will stop nursing to give it a turn.

I wanted to throw another idea out there. I was surfing last night for ideas for gifts to sew for boys. I got one yard of this great construction truck fabric and wanted to know what I could make with it that he would actually like. I thought maybe a little blanket...and look what I found:
http://dandelionmama.wordpress.com/2...ghted-blanket/
Weighted blankets are often used for children with sensory issues or autism to help calm them but lots of kids (and adults!) like them. I think that it would feel a bit like a constant hug or snuggle. My first thought was that this would come in really handy when we transition DS to his own bed! He will still have that sensation of being held close and will hopefully be comforted by that. I'm going to get the materials and give it a go!

[kirstenb]

Originally Posted by erratum

yeah, let it go. they will or won't form a lovey relationship on their own with whatever they choose.
i read the same info and tried to encourage my LO as well but he wanted nothing to do with loveys at all at that age. Then he only wanted non-traditional loveys. He went through a long series of strange loveys: spoons, forks, bobby pins, two hole punches and a calculator that he carried and slept with together all the time, various Mr. Potatohead parts that he called "ice creams" etc etc.

This sounds exactly like DS1. At any given time you can look under his covers and find an assortment of trains, cars, blocks, books, strings, watches, etc... whenever we are missing a toy that is the first place I look. Right now he is sleeping and snuggling with a little toy plastic snowboard.