Originally Posted by Lilyoftheincas13
My midwives come as a team, and they bring their assistant with them as well. They let me know that any/all of them can also act as doula if need be...maybe your midwife/wives will be able to perform the role of "doula"? Worth asking, anyway.
My doula is actually now a MW in training! She's attending births as an assistant to one local HB MW. I think if anyone asked the 2 of them, "Do you think I need to hire a 3rd person to act as a 'doula' or could the 2 of you help with counter pressure, physical & emotional support, etc?" I suspect both this MW & her asst would say, "We'll support you!"
While I'm sure they support doulas & would never tell you "Nah, you don't need one." If you explain it would be a financial burden and ask
if the could
support you in this way, I'm sure they can and they will. And I'm sure they expect that to be part of being your midwifery team ANYWAY, ya know?
As others have said, in a hospital birth, your HCP (MW or Doc) often doesn't even show up until it's time for you to push. The nurses have other patients to tend to & they often don't want to even bother
being "supportive" (So many of them prefer you in bed, quiet & hooked up to monitors so they can't pay attention to the machines.)
But a HB is a totally different scenario.
So I wouldn't stress about not having a doula. I'd just give my MW team a heads-up that I'm going to prefer the support of other females who have BTDT as my primary labor support team.
IMO, no need to tell them that you don't think your DH will be supportive. Just ask them if they could please take that lead as birth coaches.