UC basics- cutting the cord? (and long rant!)

[Snapdragon]

what is a good book or resource for me and dh to learn UC basics such as cutting the cord?

argh. Just feeling frustrated with my midwives right now. If all were to go well as my first birth gets closer I feel inclined to just have me and dh there. Ideally I would like to have me, dh , and 2 women that I knew and loved and felt close to there. I am just feeling frustrated with my midwives right now. I am grateful that there are decent homebirth midwives n my area. But as the birth gets closer I am finding myself coming back to my original urge of an UC. Just- I am not crazy about the mw's. they are fine but I feel a bit closed with them, and sort of grumpy with them. (they had scheduled a home visit today and dh took time off work to be here and we planned our day for it then they cancelled this morning) And frustrated with how much I paid them (insurance doesn't cover it). But I thinkI was or am too afraid of the unknown to have an UC for my first- plus dh and I haven't prepped for that. But just in case when I go into labor if I decide I just want to have it stay private with me and dh and it feels good, I want us to know the basics of things like cutting the cord.

What other basics are there to know if we do end up going UC?
I have a birth tub coming and a birth kit.

Anyone else ever felt this way? I mean for a first birth. It is like- I inherently trust myself and my baby and my dh and my home so much that I feel I can do it on our own. But then there is the doubting part of me plus everyone else (family and stuff) who cares for me wanting us to be safe enough by having experiemced people there. Because maybe giving birth isn't how I think it is- as it will be my first.

What do you all think about this? Just looking for support from anyone who has ever really wanted to do a UC and felt they could- especially for a first timer, but thought the mw's should be there for in case.
Do you think it is better to have them there even though I feel this certain way of that having them there would feel invasive? Yet not having them there is the fear of the unknown.

[djinneyah]

i just ran across an excellent blog post about emergency childbirth...you can find it here:

http://www.theunnecesarean.com/blog/...hildbirth.html

as for the other issue....i was all hospital with my first, but UC'ed my second, and preparing to UC my third. a head full of swirling 'what-ifs', IME, is not uncommon as the birth gets closer, regardless of your birth plans. the trick is deciphering if it's your head that's concerned or your heart. if your heart is at peace and it's just your head coming up with worries, look at the worries as an opportunity to educate yourself. what is the concern? how do you handle it on your own? etc....

in the end, you'll just have to wait and see how you feel during labor WRT whether or not you call the midwives. i would just take a step back from that particular concern at this point and focus on what you can do to prepare yourself and your partner for possibly being on your own instead.

[claddaghmom]

We bought clamps from inhishands.com but really we didn't need them. I still have a set in a drawer somewhere. A bit of floss would work.

You don't 'need' much at all, but then again, you also don't have stick with the bare minimums. Splurge on what you think you want. Of course, be prepared to not use it...I spent money on an adorable little shirt that said "I was born at home" and we couldn't even get DD's body into it, she was so huge. lol better luck next time! Although DH has been scaring me, saying he thinks we're having twins and I should order two shirts this time. Gah!

[Mother Cake]

Downloadable PDF of the book Emergency Childbirth. Haven't read it, but have heard good things about it. Only problem is, it was scanned in sideways, so you kind of have to print it to read it.

[Tulafina]

n/m

[zoebird]

you know how to work a pair of scissors, right? that's generally how cords are cut.

there's nothing special to know, and you don't really need a clamp if you wait until it stops pulsing the blood through it--honestly. i UCed with my first, but we decided to do so 5 yrs before conceiving, so, perhaps not a good comparison?

just read as much as you can and then decide what is right for you.

[Snapdragon]

Originally Posted by zoebird

you know how to work a pair of scissors, right? that's generally how cords are cut.

there's nothing special to know, and you don't really need a clamp if you wait until it stops pulsing the blood through it--honestly. i UCed with my first, but we decided to do so 5 yrs before conceiving, so, perhaps not a good comparison?

just read as much as you can and then decide what is right for you.

But you need to tie it off with something at the baby's body, right? And does the way you cut it affect the belly button?

I am thinking, after reading responses and links (thanks for all of it) that it may be best to prepare for it if I do decide to do it- just go over the basics. I think we would already have everything here except for a clean pair of something to cut the cord and something to tie it.
Then when I go into labor, see if I want the mw's to be called. And also another thing I could do is labor as long as I want without them and have them come at the end. the question would be if and what and when to tell them but I can play it by ear.

DH is on board with whatever I want to do and very supportive.
On an energetic level, I feel really private- even more than usual, since being pregnant. And super bonded with my dh, and like I just want to be home with him, our gestating baby, and our dogs. So I feel like I may continue to feel that while giving birth- or even more so. I guess I am repeating myself here I realize, but I could see how possibly the midwives' presence might make me feel more closed. Like- when dh and I are alone together we really flow and our whole sexual loving energy is present. I could see just wanting to open to our baby with only him (and our dogs who are part of my intimate family!) there. And to walk around the house naked and be free in that way that I only feel when home alone with my husband, y'know?

The other question I have is about the position to hold the baby in when they first are born. It said something about that in the link djinneyah gave me. That there is a good position to hold the baby in to drain fluid. I didn't quite understand how they meant it.

[zoebird]

nope.

we did not tie off anything at the baby's belly or anywhere on the cord. we cut the cord about 7-9 hrs after his birth (we considered lotus, but decided instead to cut it delayed), and he has a normal "innie" belly button.

[zoebird]

right, draining the fluid.

baby was born, i held him like one holds a new born baby. i just held him.

then, i would say about 5-6 hrs after his birth (maybe 3-4) he started to cough and sputter. i woke from sleep and rolled him onto his side (he'd been on his back by my side), and all of the fluid came out and he went back to sleep. we all went back to sleep.

that was it. really. nothing special. labor, give birth, eventually cut thr cord, follow your instincts.

it's a good idea to read up on the basics of everything (and of course, whatever concerns you might have), but just not worry over it too much. know that you'll know what to do and when--even calling the midwives if you want to.

[djinneyah]

yeah, positioning the baby a certain way isn't always necessary...sometimes it helps if they're having trouble getting the yuck up and out, but honestly? women left to their own devices will bring the baby up to their chest and cradle the baby. it's just nature. if baby sounds grunty/full of mucus you can turn them over onto their stomach, elevate their butt above their head, and pat their back.

best bit of advice? read through the emergency manuals so you know the basics, then do what comes naturally. you'll do fine!

[Snapdragon]

Thanks everyone So we will have the midwives if we need them and not call them if we don't want to. I think I would at least like them to come over and check out the baby after the birth- or I may find I want them there. I feel pretty at peace with it now just knowing I can choose as the time comes.

[Snapdragon]

Hi,
I am still looking for a reference to a great book to have on hand in order to cover the basics of things we might want to know to prepare for a UC.

I am also still feeling like I want to learn more about cutting the cord. Does anyone have a good clear description of it for me- how to do it step by step?

I just want to feel secure and address my concerns now so that if I want to do the UC I will feel prepped for it.
Thanks!

[zoebird]

"emergency childbirth." i think it's in our sticky.

[boheime]

We've had UCs with all of our children (including our first). I wouldn't have it any other way.

[mauinokaoi]

I had my first baby UC with just my husband 6 weeks ago.

I felt that having a midwife there would not make it any safer. Although I transfered to hospital after for stitching I would not change my choice. I could not have let go with someone else there.

Kiss and hug your husband; you are lucky to have one that is supportive and won't let his fear get in the way of your birth.

The only thing you need to cut a cord is a boiled pair of scissors. We tied ours with dental floss but others have just cut it at a white spot. Where when or how does not effect the belly button. I read that a study done showed it to heal faster if not cleaned and left to the air. My sons started to pus and smell after a few days so I started cleaning it with alcohol and the stump fell off in a week. Cut it close enough so you don't have a big stick that will scratch you both.

I read tons of UC birth stories on here to prep and it helped a lot. My husbands only birth prep was "I may puke, poop, scream or tell you to leave which you should."" All of these happened.

Good luck. And with all things mothering just trust your instincts.

[moonfirefaery]

Originally Posted by Katie34

what is a good book or resource for me and dh to learn UC basics such as cutting the cord?

You don't need a book for that. Get a sterile pair of scissors, tie the cord with string or clamp it in two places, then snip it like yarn you're using to crochet a blanket for granny.

[Cuddlebaby]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoIiVszj1EU

[basje]

but how far?

Nobody has mentioned how much of the cord to leave? I was thinking like 6 inches? But this is a total guess...

[mwherbs]

there is no set distance you have to leave the cord- but look at it a before you cut- if it is extra wide or bubbled out don't cut it there- cut further toward the placenta -
2-3 finger withdths above the belly is fairly customary
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I would also recommend that you say something to your midwives about how your feelings, that you aren't close, and also you desire to pretty much do it alone with dh- now I am not saying talk about not calling them, I am saying state your preference for them to be in the margins, that way if you do end up calling them they know what you want.

[Snapdragon]

yeah- now I keep going back and forth, but not in a stressed way- more just glad I have the option. My mw's are coming for a home visit tomorrow so maybe I will mention somehting.
I think we decided to have the birthing tub upstairs and that is in our bedroom right next to the bathroom. That way also if we do have the midwives there they can be downstairs if I want them but also have privacy.
As the actual birth gets closer sometimes I feel totally confident and other times scared! I know that is normal. But all the last 2 wks I was thinking I didn't want the mw's there and today I am thinking I do, so we'll see.