NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part 5 - Page 22

[~Shanna~]

Originally Posted by MujerMamaMismo

We just need a great business name. Suggestions welcome!

Encircle. Or Encircle (something). Can't you just picture a kick-a$$ logo?

So excited for you! I'm supposed to be working, so I have to go. I miss you ladies

[~Shanna~]

Originally Posted by Sihaya

As for me, having a bit of a breakdown today. I thought that I would just lose it if we didn't get pg this cycle (our third ttc since my last m/c), but I didn't realize I would also lose it if we did get pg.

Congratulations Sihaya!!!!!!!!!!!

[Maela]

Originally Posted by ~Shanna~

Congratulations Sihaya!!!!!!!!!!!

[Angelorum]

Congratulations Sihaya! Stick baby, stick!

[witchygrrl]

Congrats Sihaya!!!!!

[MujerMamaMismo]

Steph! Yay yay. I really hope I'm in your DDC too - although it would mean I'm having an Aries and I'm not sure how much room there is in our family for another one of me!

I'm doing ok at not sending myself crazy. In fact, I tried to stalk ttc threads and I just couldn't relate, or couldn't be bothered or something? Nonetheless, I am having a million imaginary symptoms I swear I haven't invited!

Encircle is good Shanna - DP (A graphic designer) could do great things with a logo like that but I want the word Mama in the title. At the moment we're leaning towards Mama Matters' - double entendre intended.

Happy Birthday Westley....

and Rhea (when is her b'day - soon, right?)

[MujerMamaMismo]

Where's PiePie? And how is she feeling? Other than having no dishwasher and no wifi (which I gleaned from fb) ?

[witchygrrl]

Rhea's birthday is today. I can't believe she's two. She just gets more amazing by the day!

Love to all.

[Maela]

Originally Posted by witchygrrl

Rhea's birthday is today. I can't believe she's two. She just gets more amazing by the day!

Love to all.

Happy Birthday Rhea!! They're all getting so old!

[PiePie]

Hi everyone. Mujerista, thanks for missing me. My home computer is on the fritz and work was one crisis after another last week. I do have a ton of work to do in the next week and a half. It's kind of scary because I don't know what will give to do it. I can't see myself pulling an all-nighter as in the old days, and this would take multiple all-nighters.

Potty learning is going pretty well with DD and I am about to go up against her teacher hard-core to get her in underpants at sch. When she wears underpants she is 100% but she asks what she is wearing and if it's a pull-up she wants to go in it. I figure that her last day with this teacher is the 24th so really if the teacher reacts terribly, which I think she will, it's not a huge loss, not as if I did it with 3 mos. left (when I was tempted to). Much of the next 3 weeks will be increasing the time in the new classroom (transitioning).

There is a social issue with DD's BFF on which I want your advice but I really should eat now.

Still puking and problems on the other end at 23 weeks. Seriously. This is nuts. Also the baby wants to grow a bump on my left side so that has been hurting for a million years. Not thinking much about the birth at all compared to with DD -- I hope I get a little focused on it come fall. Settled on names with DH, which is HUGE. You may recall that we didn't have names with DD until 37 weeks, and that it made me kinda nuts. Not finding out gender before birth. Boss seems to be planning for my maternity leave and isn't giving me problems about the 6 mos., so that is HUGE. Feel fat (as opposed to pregnant) and gross. Also nutritionally deficient -- mac and cheese is a staple. Strong aversions still, and weak appetite, so I try to force down the only thing that sounds non-gross. But I am alive and showing up for work, both of which are necessary, and I am even taking some care of DD (although DH usually has to pinch hit to give me a chance to lie down).

This weekend I am hosting a small sleepover of moms and toddlers and babies -- should be interesting! Somewhat stressful that everything in my home is falling apart, but I am trying to stop stressing about it and just enjoy being "encircled."

Next weekend is DD's bday party. We are spreading her presents out so that it is not too much all at once (which means a few toys are hits and the rest get ignored). An easel I picked up for free is a huge hit. Also likes her piggy bank (I would not have done this -- I think she is too young -- but DH did) and is saving up for a popsicle and a cow. DH has taked her into downgrading to a stuffed toy cow. Lots of questions re what things cost.

Also extremely interested in weather -- reasons and predictions -- and airplanes, specifically how take-off and landing works, and more generally why some things fly and others float. If you have any good ideas for "unschooling" those, lemme know.

No vacation plans yet for the rest of the summer.... A slight bummer but I am the social coordinator of the family and I just haven't had the time/energy.

SIHAYA, I am excited for you! But yes I remember the flip outs. I had a good feeling about this one, though. I made a deal with myself to stop stressing once I heard a heartbeat. I just didn't want to live with 40 weeks of anxiety.

MMM, Wow, I remember your last TTC journey so well. I am a little surprised you are trying now with the exciting new developments on the career front, but I guess you are shooting for the multi-tasking queen award. Good luck communicating with DP on it -- it's just inherently hard, I think.

[Sihaya]

Thanks, everyone. My panic has subsided a bit over the last week. I had my first OB appt yesterday, which helped a lot. I will be staying with the OB through 16 weeks, then switching back to my home birth midwife at 20 weeks. We scheduled an ultrasound for 8 weeks and I am pretty much just holding my breath until then. If I can make it through the next four weeks without spotting and then see a gorgeous heartbeat on the screen, there will be an enormous exhale and so much pressure relieved.

PiePie - I wish there were more of us closer to each other so we could help you feel more encircled right now

Originally Posted by PiePie

SIHAYA, I am excited for you! But yes I remember the flip outs. I had a good feeling about this one, though. I made a deal with myself to stop stressing once I heard a heartbeat. I just didn't want to live with 40 weeks of anxiety.

Thanks, I have a good feeling this time too and I know I will feel a lot less stressed once I see/hear a heartbeat.

[MujerMamaMismo]

Originally Posted by PiePie

MMM, Wow, I remember your last TTC journey so well. I am a little surprised you are trying now with the exciting new developments on the career front, but I guess you are shooting for the multi-tasking queen award. Good luck communicating with DP on it -- it's just inherently hard, I think.

Yeah - I can see that it seems a bit crazy but there's method in the madness. We are broke. DP is also miserable and stuck working in her family business for crappy, but guaranteed money. She just wants to stay home with the kid[s] too. I have zero desire to get back into the stress filled, shitty paid, world of community and non-profit orgs while I have small children (I appreciate that you're in that world and that some can make it work, but I know that I couldn't) but I need to earn some money. And we'd love if DP could drop the work with the family business, spend more time at home and concentrate solely on her design business which keeps being pushed to the side because of (her) family demands...
And we want another kid soon.
...obviously birth doula-ing won't work with a small nursling but with a supportive mum, a day a week at childcare for Sebby, and hopefully, eventually, a DP who is working solely from home, we may just be able to swing the post natal stuff, which is more contained and pretty decent money. Even 8 hours a week would make a massive difference to our financial situation but in the mid-term it would be preferable for us both to work 50/50 and be with the kids 50/50. It's do-able. We just have to work hard to make it happen.

I'm sorry you're still sick. It's just so unfair. But glad to hear that your 6months mat. leave isn't looking too tricky. Thinking of you x

[TinyFrog]

Hi ladies. I changed my name. I used to be an addict of water. I updated my name in the facebook group too, hopefully that helps if you are a little confused. I was the one that was building the house that took forever (3.5 years actually). Well, we finished the house (mostly ), moved in last year and was then hit hard by *something* bizarre that gave me some severe neurological issues that resulted in being out of work for many months. Finally figured out recently that is was food related and am working through all of that now.


With that behind me, and the house too, we finally decided to TTC and I am now due with baby #1 in April. My due date is the same date as Steph actually.


I am really hoping MMM joins the April DDC too!

[MujerMamaMismo]

Originally Posted by TinyFrog

Hi ladies. I changed my name. I used to be an addict of water. I updated my name in the facebook group too, hopefully that helps if you are a little confused. I was the one that was building the house that took forever (3.5 years actually). Well, we finished the house (mostly ), moved in last year and was then hit hard by *something* bizarre that gave me some severe neurological issues that resulted in being out of work for many months. Finally figured out recently that is was food related and am working through all of that now.

With that behind me, and the house too, we finally decided to TTC and I am now due with baby #1 in April. My due date is the same date as Steph actually.


I am really hoping MMM joins the April DDC too!

Welcome back TinyFrog! What a loyal NMY follower you've been. I'm so happy that your time has finally come. Congratulations.

Sorry to hear about your poor health. That sounds really frightening on several levels. I hope you've found an acceptable way to deal with it. (That isn't about very little permissible food - a few of us have been there to varying degrees and know that it's not fun!)

AFM: I don't think I'll be hanging out in the April DDC. At 11DPO I'm feeling pretty PMS-y and all of my imaginary symptoms have completely left the building! That's ok. I'm not gonna panic yet!

[Maela]

TinyFrog, I remember you! It's really weird because just a couple of days ago I was wondering what happened to "the girl who was building the house." No kidding. Congrats on the pregnancy!

[Maela]

The school year is starting. Not only will dh be teaching but he will also be going back to school himself. For a few years - he's going to be changing careers. We'll be making little money and his parents will be helping us out. It's only the first day back and already our house is a mess. I'm already super stressed out; I guess just from the thought of taking care of everything (cooking/cleaning) + kids. I have a really hard time being okay with a messy house. Ds doesn't want to be held much anymore, but when he's down he's very often getting into trouble.

Any suggestions on becoming calmer, more okay with dirt/messes, etc.? It's always stressful this time of year for Dh, so I feel like I have to be the strong one here. I really want him to feel okay with going back to school as he seems excited and committed to the change in career - nursing!

Sorry this post is so jumbled. I'm trying to do ten things at once.


ETA: Also I still really want to homeschool/unschool, but guess what Dd has been saying lately? M: "Mama, when I get older can I go to school?"
Me: "If you want to, but you could also stay here with us and learn at home."
M: "I don't want to. I want to go to school."
Me: "That's okay. But the thing about school is that you're going to have to learn what the teacher says, when she says. At home, you can learn whatever you want whenever you want."
M: " That's okay. I'll do what the teacher tells me to do."

[PiePie]

MMM, I have a friend who does post-partum doula work (she charges the going rate here, which is $40/hour) and also teaches classes on birthing, breastfeeding, and adjusting to life with a newborn. She also runs a moms' group for which women pay significant $ ($20 each per week) and teaches occasional sleep clinics. She does all of her teaching on weekends so her DH can watch the kids (they have 2). It works for her. She does, however, spend non-trivial amounts of time preparing to teach, and can't do weekends away all the time. Be sure to figure into the budgeting some time off paid work for yourself post-partum.

[PiePie]

Maela, Look at it from her perspective for a minute. She has a dad who's been a teacher for her whole life. Small wonder she should think sch would be a fun place to be.

[Maela]

Originally Posted by PiePie

Maela, Look at it from her perspective for a minute. She has a dad who's been a teacher for her whole life. Small wonder she should think sch would be a fun place to be.

That's true. Thanks Piepie.

If I could be guaranteed that every teacher she had would be like her dad, I would be a little more relaxed about this.

[accountclosed3]

Maela:

At her age, and until she's probably a teen IMO, she's really not in a space to make hard core educational decisions. She can make decisions about what to learn and even how to learn it, but providing resources and which resources is really the parent's job. so, it may be that she decides for school when she is old enough--high school or uni--but until then, you do what you think is best.

As far as the messy house stuff, that is an interesting thing.

first, i would develop a rhythm so that there are multiple aspects to your day/week wherein the chores get done (heavy chores, one per day, once per week), and the tidying gets done (every day) in a way that is comfortable and sustainable to you.

for me, this alone created a devotional process with cleaning, which made it ritualized, focused, and easier to let it go when it "wasn't time to clean." it allowed there to be times of mess, because i knew that it would be clean before bed, or when i got up first thing in the morning, and so on.

i have found that the mess in between the tidying is easier to handle because it is purposeful mess--the process of playing, living, and learning. since i want to play, live, and learn, then the mess is a part of that process and i'm actually happy to co-create it with the kiddo and ryan.

and, i do most of the cleaning here anyway. ryan was supposed to come on line more, but he doesn't do much mroe than pull the clothes out of the dryer and toss them in a pile on the bed (so i fold and put it away), wash what dishes he needs as he needs them (if i haven't washed them already), and cook/prep about half the meals. I have really, just given up on the idea that we would be partners in housekeeping. I have found no way to motivate him, encourage him, or engage him in it in over 12 years, though he will do something when i ask him to directly (eg, he puts the pile on the bed, and because i'm doing dishes, i ask "will you fold and put the laundry away please? it takes five minutes, then you can read your book." and he will do it. otherwise, i have just accepted that i like the house this way, he doesn't care, and so i need to make it happen.