Originally Posted by PiePie
DD is doing very well, reading up a storm, and using impeccable logic. However, behaviorally there have been more challenges since weaning. Anyone else notice a correlation?? She used to be so resilient whereas now she cries at the drop of a hat and does, I swear, less independent play than 3 mos. ago. Also one of her strengths was having a very high frustration threshold and now she gets upset much more easily. Lots of regressive behavior, claiming she's a baby and can't walk, baby talk, demanding to be spoonfed (although she wasn't spoonfed as a baby!), demanding to have nighttime pull-up put on as a diaper (lying on her back with her legs in the air), etc.
Not sure how much of this is related to new sibling and how much it is typical 3 yo. A lot of the crying is definitely attention-seeking.... She does pretend to hit the baby but also says really sweet things, e.g., "Love is growing inside you." She is obsessed with what she is going to do with the new baby, much of which is not age-appropriate, but this morning she was running down her plan for keeping the baby from crying while I took long showers (a plan DH never made or implemented consistently, so hey, I'll take it! long showers are my thing.)
Today was particularly tough. In fairness today I was stressed and DH was stressed and she was getting less attention and probably sensing our stress. Tomorrow will be better.
I've just had some revelations with Fenton that won't surprise you, but it surprised me how hard it was for me to recognize it in my own child: He gets wild, destructive, clingy and frustrated when he's not getting enough attention from DH and I, or if he's overstimulated ("stacked" stimulating events, etc.). I've known all of this in theory about children, but I'm surprised how difficult my own stubbornness and agenda made it hard for me to reognize. It also sounds like it could be her just adjusting to what her new roles are and will be. It's frustrating to feel like it's regression, but I think it's more like a labryrinth
: You seem like you're right back where you started, but you're evolving and the swinging-by-where-you-used-to-be is part of the journey.
I need some advice: Fenton has started playing with boys who are older, and he's starting to show a lot of interest in guns, and talks about "killing" and things being "killed". I feel like it's a mistake for me to give this too much attention, both because it may be developmentally appropriate to get fascinated with what death is, what power is, etc. but I also don't want to play into desensitizing him to this. I've been realizing how much my reaction to this is my social discomfort with death, like it's a shameful thing that happens to us all Any advice? In a discussion with DH last night, I thought that he isn't on the path to being a serial killer just because he doesn't understand the gravity of death and killing at age 3. So far I just keep saying blandly "Killing something is a pretty serious thing. Do you know what it means?"
Gave up on potty training, and I feel so liberated. Peace restored to our home. Thanks Pie Pie
Also reading this
book and loving it - much of it is cringe-worthy liberal over-correction for authoritarianism, and yet there's still so much of value in it, and even the stuff that seems over teh top feels like it inspires the better parent in me.
Which, speaking of, gotta go. I think my boys are organizing a mutiny :-)