still pregnant. technically due today! had huge scare that my waters had broken but apparently i misdiagnosed myself. phew.
lots of trouble sleeping. beyond exhausted emotionally but just can't sleep.
moderately dreading 3 yo bday party tomorrow where i will get to hear every mother's story of how she started her own labor. not that i am happy to be pregnant, this has not been fun for me, but ugh. feeeling a little antisocial, i guess.
huge drama around childcare for dd during the birth, which i guess was good to discover on a trial run to the hosp. basically the moms who said they would take dd meant for dd to get switched over to someone else if the whole thing took more than 12 hours; the biomom confesses she has blocked her whole labor out; no freaking kidding!! switching over would involve our dragging a convertible carseat on pub transit, so that second family could use it. i think they want to switch because they are concerned that dd will mess up their kid's sleep, which is somewhat reasonable to expect, given that they define a missed nap or 30 mins late on bedtime as catastrophic, i do think having a friend over would be likely to derail to that degree, and they are willing to suffer one derailment but no more. carseat schlepping is not appealing.... so rethinking that whole plan. good thing i had 3 different families lined up, huh? and a fourth if the baby waits till monday to make an appearance. fortunately i have a very flexible child.
behavioral issue with dd: demanding to be carried all the time. she is 3 and perfectly capable (physically), we think, of walking. it gets on dh's last nerve, because it strikes him as unhealthy/weak and he will just say no; he claims she fights it more strongly if i am there (which may be true). i tend to start a power struggle, realize i am in a power struggle, back off and carry her for a very small distance, and then put her down, which mostly seems to work -- not sure if it is about attaching, or some sort of neurological reset (read about in a GD thread), or a version of playing baby/regression. whose 3 yos walk or otherwise self-propel (scooter, balance bike) exclusively? and how much walking is in your average day? we are car-free and near subway but not right on it (not like step outside and there you are, as one would be with, say, an attached garage), in a hilly part of town. specifically, we are 2 blocks from the subway.
Today was better than it has been in a few days, so maybe it'll start improving. 
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