Originally Posted by cking
ok, i'm clueless on the new system with editing quoted posts...sorry!
from the first paragraph - yes, I think it's also influenced if she's tired or hungry (usually both!). We've been struggling with Friday playgroup - which is held from 10-noon, and includes snacks - usually fruit. Most people linger for a while longer, so she's often exhausted and very hungry by the time we leave, and for a while would fall asleep on the way home. I was taking measures to fix this - bringing along a lunch, etc. but as it happens we haven't even been to playgroup in about 4 weeks, for various reasons. I am really missing the time with other adults! Also this is a problem for her preschool - she had been staying from 9-11, but since most of the two year olds were turning three, they started to have them stay until 12. I thought she needed the extra time, but the transition was really tough, and we've had a very hard time getting home from school when I pick her up at 12. (won't leave the school, won't get in the car, won't get out of the car.....)
Also, yes to the second part about too much control. We're working on trying to find a balance. I've been talking with my sister about this quite a bit, as she went through similar things with her two daughters (now 17 & 20) - she suggested that J is trying to find our limits. I get that...and we're working on it.
My sister also suggested OT for sensory integration dysfunction - something she went through with her younger dd. We have an evaluation next week - I'm nervous, mostly about J's reaction to the visit. But I do hope that she qualifies for some sort of therapy - I need some help!
Shanna, I feel like that pizza incident totally could have happened here. We have actually had arguments over the smoke alarm and the kitchen exhaust fan (the new, quiet one, which he went to great pains to install, but still hesitates to use because *I'm* so sensitive to noise. I have to remind him that I'm much more sensitive to the sound of the freakin alarm, and even to the smell of burning food. :duh) But yes, it does feel like we're on different teams. It makes me sad - I'm looking forward to the weekend to spend time with him and get a break from solo parenting -- but he's not having fun while he's here and most likely looking forward to returning to work.
Ditto on how confusing the new editing system is.
Have any of you read "Simplicity parenting"? Its an awesome book, one of the few parenting books that I think are worth anything. One of the big things I started to see with our kids is how hard transitions are on all of us: shifting an entire family's inertia to get somewhere, do something different, get in the car, pack the diaper bag, get the sippy cups......Once we're finally in teh car, I"m exhausted. It often feels like trying to navigate a shopping cart that's overflowing. Brandon and I finally, after many parent FAILs, implemented a guideline that we do only 1 outing with the kids per day, and only 1 evenign per week where we stay somewhere so late in the evening that we get home right before bed. This was sort of tough, because almost every day we each work a 4-hour shift at home, and whenever you're the one caretaking in the winter, you want to be the one to take the kids out of the house. But we saw one day where I took the kids to the library and chiropractor, got the kids home for lunch, and then B wanted to turn around at 1 and take them out again, and we were frustrated that the kids were a mess. Anyway, the book does a great job of seeing being on "Adult time" from a kids perspective, that they just can't stack activities the way we want to.
Christina, with your situation: Would it help to have less centralized Mama-dates so you don't have to transition J as often? Like invite moms you like to your house, instead of going out? I saw the beauty of this when we were on one car and everyone came to me. I also saw last week how much different my kids were when the weather wasn't frigid and we could be outside most of the day. And, as I'm constantly reminding myself, parenting is hard, and not because I'm doing it wrong. Not everything is an opportunity for change and improvement, so my advice may be worthless :-)
I don't know if it's of interest here (I feel like we've talked about it) but my business does an eNewsletter once a month and in April the article is about Mama Rage. I'm really proud of the article, it has some great resources to share. If you want to sign up for the newsletter, you can here. Sorry for the ad, but I think of all of you a lot with the work I'm doing, and I'd like to share it. There's nothing to buy :-)
Potty training today again, take 5. And no, I don't mean "potty learning". I'd give him dog biscuits at this point if I thought it would help. At this point, I don't care about his motivations, don't care if he does it to please me, I just want to stop changing his flipping diapers. Other than that, I love this age! He turns 4 today, can you believe it? I know what you're thinking, Why are you potty training on his birthday? He chose it as his deadline, after I told him kindly that I didn't want to change him anymore and that I was confident he was capable of doing it. We bought some exciting big boy underwear (because he's outgrowing the 2t/3t undies he already has. What a cruel joke) and an exciting Batman book that we read when we're on the potty and having a hard time staying long enough to actually get urine in the potty. I'd buy the kid a pony if I thought it would help......Wish me luck.
Lord, I miss you ladies :-)
PiePie, I saw Jane Eyre yesterday! Thanks for the advice