Need help to create good energy for this baby!

[whozeyermamma]

I'm sure some of you wonderful earth mammas will have some ideas on this one: So this PG has been VERY different than with DD! With her I loved being PG, was in a great mood most of the time, high libido (!) happy and radiant.

This time - my emotions are WAY out of control. Especially at night I wind up getting very anxious, angry, worried, frustrated, etc.

I'll get anxious about the baby then my mind will run through all the hundreds of things that can go wrong. All of a sudden I'll be seized with the thought that DD could get hit by a truck. Then, the next day, I'll focus on DH's health. Or he and I will get into a fight about something that might be legitimate, but I blow it up and can't let it go. Then I wind up stewing about things we have fought about for 10 years, or things that happened years ago.

Whew.

Basically, I feel that I'm having a hard time with all this negative energy, negative emotions and I fear that all those bad hormones are going to be bad for this baby. I don't want to do that to him or her!!

I'm contemplating some therapy - like a way to head off post partum depression (which I did have with DD.) but at the same time I want to find some good materials on creating good energy and good thoughts/ feelings for this wonderful little babe.

Anyone have any ideas on chants, mantras, books or music, web sites .. that can help me? I'm not a religious person per se so I'm not looking for prayers, but I do believe in the powers of meditation and good healing energy.

THANKS in advance!

[monarch27]

Exercise really helps me feel more positive! It's like getting a shot of happy and it helps me feel good all the time if I'm consistent. Plus I've decided exercising when your pregnant is actually fun because you don't have to push yourself, you get to take it easy during your workout.

I highly recommend this way to de-stress.

Heidi in Utah

[at_the_hip]

Homeopathy can help a lot as well. There is lot of info online, but finding a good homeopath would be ideal of course. Sepia is great for the 'overworked, overtired mama'...when you just feel like hiding or running away from the ones you love...and you feel quite irritated with them. There are other remedies often needed in pg too though, such as Pulsatilla for example, that tends to have more teariness and a feeling of not being taken care of.

kind regards,

[at_the_hip]

Oh and I totally forgot to mention that, for those times over overwhelming panic, Rescue Remedy can really help a LOT. HFS carry the drops...and you can just put 4 drops into a water bottle and drink it as often as you feel you need to when you feel fear and panic. It really does help.

[sharr610]

Not much help to offer, but did want to sympathize and say ME TOO!!! I could have written your post. I found myself last night lying(awake) in bed trying to send positive love to this babe inside me. I just feel that its getting nothing but anger and anxiousness and sadness. The nausea is starting to let up for me and I hope that evens things out more, but so far, this has been a hard pregnancy!

. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Thanks for starting this thread, these are great suggestions!

[earthmommy2]

I have been exactly where you are this whole pregnancy!! I am feeling tired, sick, emotional, all of it...and find it hard to not have some dread just waiting for the "other shoe to drop." I usually am so happy during my pregnancies.

I have tried very hard to find things that help me keep my mind busy, and actually without baby related things. I do stuff for friends, help neighbors anything to not keep my mind drifting back to my fear, and only look forward to joy.

[RedOakMomma]

I think therapy is a great idea. You may have a little semi-PTSD having to do with the depression you experienced with your last child, yk? Your body and mind might be fearing it, and creating anxiety about a host of other things you can't control.

Have you tried taking moments away to reflect on something beautiful? A scene, a photo, a sound? Some Asian cultures believe that it's good for a baby if the mother takes in a lot of beautiful sights and scenery....I agree, if only because it's a way to fill yourself up with joy.

Take care, mama.

[CorasMama]

Originally Posted by RedOakMomma

I think therapy is a great idea. You may have a little semi-PTSD having to do with the depression you experienced with your last child, yk? Your body and mind might be fearing it, and creating anxiety about a host of other things you can't control.

Take care, mama.

this.

[whozeyermamma]

Thank you everyone - wonderful suggestions, all! I am going to start walking (I was doing it daily before the major exhaustion hit.) Where can I find rescue remedy? Whole Foods?

I also like the idea of the scenery. It's so gray and cold and miserable out. I'm sure that does not help! I might spend some time looking at old photos of our vacations.

At night I've been doing some deep breathing and just thinking things like "Hi little wonderful baby! I can't wait to meet you." I feel a little silly but I think it helps too.

Earthmommy; that's what I've been doing too - keeping REALLY busy. Work has been nuts so that's been easy. Shar - can you find an outlet for yourself?

I think it has also been empowering to just realize that this is a different pregnancy and it doesn't mean that I'm a failure, or that something is wrong with this baby or that I'll "wreck" this baby - that it's OK to feel what I'm feeling.

Thank you!!!!

[whozeyermamma]

..... oh and I should have added - that's a really good point about the ptsd - I think I kind of diminish the post partum depression thing and I need to be more cognizant of it this time.

I have a history of depression in the family, plus my own history of ptsd from a college sexual assault and eating disorder. Yeah; I'm a mess! I was in therapy before (in college, group and individual) and I think that will help me now ...

I think we try to minimize these feelings because there is so much pressure to be the happy radiant pregnant earth goddess. And if thats how you feel, it's wonderful and fantastic. But I guess it doens't always work out that way - and that's OK too.

[alivia]

I know this thread was from a few days back but I couldn't read without offering a suggestion: *magnesium*

Is it possible you are not getting enough magnesium? Even what is in your prenatals might not be enough. If I don't specifically keep up on my magnesium, I have terrible feelings of dread, and anxiety about awful things happening, just as you described. It often happens at night. Are you also craving chocolate like mad? That's a big symptom of magnesium deficiency.

In seasonal areas of the U.S., during the winter - without our usual Vitamin D intake from the sun - it's even easier to become magnesium deficient since your body needs one to properly process the other. Also you mentioned a family history of depression which could mean that your needs for magnesium might be higher than others' due to genetics. I know mine are. In fact, if I take a "balanced" ratio of magnesium and calcium like the standard advice is these days, I quickly feel emotionally awful.

Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there. I think naturopaths suggest Magnesium Chelate if you're looking to supplement. I hope you find your positive spot again regardless of the cause!

[CorasMama]

Oh, man. I know that I feel so much better on all physical fronts when I take a boatload of cal/mag in addition to (but not at the same time as!) my prenatals. I didn't know about the emotional aspects, because when I feel crappy physically, I of course am feeling crappy emotionally about it, but that would make sense.

whozeyermamma: how are you feeling about things right now? I'm still thinking of you.

[whozeyermamma]

Thanks, Corasmommy and alivia! - I think the positive vibes help!

I checked my vitamins - and guess what - no magneseium! Huh!? I'll definitely look into it. I'll probably get it separate from calcium since I eat a lot of dairy ... but that's good advice!

Feeling a little bit better these days - trying to consider what the universe is trying to teach me - what I need to learn from this experience, too.

to you guys!

[zeebaby]

I know this discussion is a couple of weeks old but I found it & wanted to share some thoughts...I feel relieved that it's not just me that's experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. Expecting my first child, which I'm thrilled about but overwhelmed at the same time. Also, my husband is unemployed & my job has been very stressful lately. Every time I get upset I worry I'm hurting the baby. I've tried Rescue Remedy & it's okay. Prenatal yoga helps. I'm just hoping that I feel better and snap out of this roller coaster of emotions.

[GoBecGo]

OP have you considered that androgens in your system from carrying a male baby might be causing a lot of your anxiety?

I am having a VERY different pregnancy to the one i had with DD, but i don't know the sex of the baby and i have a new partner, so that will be a factor for me. BUT a lot of the things i had with her (fuzziness, inability to think well, seemingly endless patience with annoying problems and people) i do not have at ALL this time. I am feeling much sharper, intellectually, and much less patient! I also have a much higher libido this time (i know some women find it's higher with girl pregnancies and some with boys, i guess i will know if it's that which is making the difference for me, rather than the different father, when i am holding my kid and know if it's male or female.

I didn't have an easy time early on. I had 2 losses right before this pregnancy stuck and i feel ashamed typing this but when i was 10 weeks this time i remember saying to DH that if i lost this one i would be gutted "primarily because i might have to go through all this again!" It was hard with the nausea and the exhaustion, WAY worse than with DD.

I accept this baby might actually be a girl, but i do think it's a boy, dream it's a boy often, and will be shocked (but not disappointed) if it's a girl.

I just thought i'd mention this because you seem to be beating yourself up a lot, and though i fully endorse all the suggestions (therapy, exercise etc.) i think if i were you i'd be looking at them as a way to get through a pregnancy with clashing hormones, and not to fix you or anything about you. I am finding it gets easier as time goes on. I really hope it does for you too.

[Crispie]

DDCC when I saw this post to say I have had the exact same problem. There is wonderful advice here, but I wanted to add one more thing if I may...

I am doing hypnobabies this time around and of all the CD's I listen to, there is a "positive affirmations" one that is for daily use. It gives great messages when my brain can't seem to make my own. (ie: I love my pregnant body, I am happy, normal and healthy, My baby is happy and healthy, Pregnancy is normal for me and my baby, etc.) It's about 30 minutes long and is awesome!

My MW tells me there are many pregnancy and birthing affirmation CD's out there, but I haven't looked because mine came with the hypnobabies program and it does it for me. If I didn't have this one, I would have ordered one. You can order just the one I mentioned from hypnobabies.com or try amazon/google and type in "pregnancy affirmations" to see what pops up.

[whozeyermamma]

"i think if i were you i'd be looking at them as a way to get through a pregnancy with clashing hormones, and not to fix you or anything about you. I am finding it gets easier as time goes on. I really hope it does for you too."


YES. This is exactly it. This is just what I've learned in the past few weeks! And it has gotten a LOT better - I mean I still feel more emotional, but it makes sense now and it feels better.

I also just got hypnobabies! Looking forward to starting it!

I think the last thing I'm trying to do is to ask: What can I learn from this? What is the universe trying to teach me? What good can I make from it? And, inevitably, I find a gem hidden in whatever is going on at the moment _ "good" or "bad."

to everyone!

[Cuddlebaby]

I think you have received a lot of great advice. I just wanted to add a HUGE kudos for you even recognizing the 'negative' energy. and the need to replace it. completely. BUT, kind of like treating a fever w/ out knowing the cause, you should maybe try to find the cause. previous trauma? previous depression? magnesium deficient? B complex may help too. Too bad it's not as easy as a blood test if it's more psychological. read Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom by Christian Northrup for that area. As a UC'er (and UP) I rarely say this but if mom is having anxiety there is a reason. maybe some more tests?

hugs while you travel on this journey.

Rebecca