My husband is a SAHD and has been since I returned to work full-time when baby #1 was 8 weeks old. We have two now and are expecting #3. He's a great SAHD with one major flaw - he is a terrible housekeeper. So I find that I'm always trying to compensate, or trying to ignore, and neither works well (both make me feel resentful and I am stressed and tired enough as it is w/o having to do all the housekeeping, bill paying, etc. also).
That said, I wouldn't want to do it any other way, and we just keep working on the issues that exist. My husband has a hobby-type job he does from home (writes articles for a website on a personal interest of his) that makes peanuts (maybe $30/mo?) but keeps him doing something other than just babies/toddlers/preschoolers.
I've found that having the SAHD has resulted in having kids who have a very close relationship with both parents. They spend all day with him, and then when I come home, attach to me like leeches. So we share parenting duties as much as possible and we have always shared housekeeping duties.
As for MammaFaith's rant, I hear ya. My husband and I did lay out responsibilities before I went back to work, and have been struggling with those issues for almost 4 years now. I don't know what to do about it, because he always agrees with me - agrees that he should be doing more, that x, y, or z should or should not be happening, or whatever. Yet there are no meaningful changes. At present we're trying to solve this problem with a major house reorganization that will result in a big playroom in the basement. I think this will help, but it's not going to solve all the problems. No matter what, he is simply going to have to do more.
He has a lot of excuses . . . kids are too time-consuming, or there isn't anywhere to put stuff, so it is necessarily messy - but then why am I able to clean, tidy and organize? Why is it that I can get things in order, while watching kids, and he apparently can't? It's maddening. Sometimes I just want to throw all our "stuff" away but I know he would hate that, so I don't do it.
Fortunately my husband was never interested in meeting other parents of young kids socially, so our total failures at finding a playgroup for dd were not a big deal. Instead, we got a gym membership and the kids both love the gym daycare. I wish I had more mom friends, but all the mothers I know who are even vaguely like us in terms of parenting or lifestyle choices are SAHMs and it's hard to stay connected.
I know I'm griping a lot, but really we are very happy. The housekeeping issues are just a work in progress - more of an issue now b/c I'm pregnant and nesting. I really wouldn't want to do it any other way, and am so happy the kids get to have a SAHP, which was always a priority for us.