Visitors at Hospital

[pumpkin]

What do you want from visitors? Should they bring something? Best time to come?

I didn't want visitors with DD and no one lived locally so that was easy. We also did an early release even with the csec so including the surgery only there 48 hours.

My sis wants visitors. She is having a csec. Staying at least 3 days. My DD is not allowed in so DH will be waiting with her in the lobby so we can't stay too long.

[Plummeting]

I think you should just ask your sister what she wants, since everyone wants different things, yk? For instance, I didn't want anyone coming in the room until after I'd had time to shower and hold DD myself for a while. I was very angry when DH's mother came in about 10 or 15 minutes after she was born, while I was still lying there half naked with blood on me. I wanted to be holding her for that first little while. Instead, she was. Some people don't mind that, though. Everyone's different. One of my sisters wants people in the room before she's even expelled the placenta, when possible. She wants the baby out and visitors in the door.

[BetsyS]

I love having visitors in the hospital!

It's so nice--everyone expects you to look awful, no makeup, no shower. No one expects you to get them a drink or a snack. There is no pile of laundry to move off the couch before they sit down. They don't accidently sit in your nursing throne (at least mine don't--they know to get off the bed ). Visitors tend to only stay 15-20 minutes, ooh and aah over the baby, then leave.

For me, it's really a great way to have a lot of people come and see the baby.

[pumpkin]

I guess what I am wondering is there anything that you wanted that you wouldn't ask for? Did you secretly wish visitors would show up with a pizza or a stack of magazines?

[Mrs-Mama]

I liked having short visits from certain people, but other people (mom, BFF) could have easily stayed all day, just for company

I loved when people showed up with little snacks. MIL's choc chip cookies hit the spot for the 10pm munchies. I didn't like people bringing a bunch of stuff, though. Flowers, magazines, books, presents all have to be packed up and brought home. We had lots of that type stuff after DS was born and it was so much effort for DH to get the car packed up and then so much clutter when we got home and neither one of us had the energy to put anything away.

[crunchy_mommy]

I agree that asking your sister what she wants/expects (short visits only at a certain time? long visits and stacks of magazines?)

I hated having visitors & hope that next time we can get away with asking for NO visitors.

The one thing that I really appreciated, though, was my aunt bought me a bracelet with baby carriage charm on it. It's awesome to have that little memento of my son's birth (and DH would never have thought to do something like that)... I did the same thing for my SIL & got her a "family tree" necklace for her son's birth.

[AnnieNimIty]

I liked visitors when they came to help make life easier. Maybe that sounds selfish... but I wasn't in the mood to entertain or have them cuddle my new baby. I needed dishes washed, food made, and clothes folded. Not to mention when it was my FIRST baby, and everything is soooo new I just needed some time to learn. I loved people who would feed us.

[CanBoo]

Originally Posted by BetsyS

I love having visitors in the hospital!

It's so nice--everyone expects you to look awful, no makeup, no shower. No one expects you to get them a drink or a snack. There is no pile of laundry to move off the couch before they sit down. They don't accidently sit in your nursing throne (at least mine don't--they know to get off the bed ). Visitors tend to only stay 15-20 minutes, ooh and aah over the baby, then leave.

For me, it's really a great way to have a lot of people come and see the baby.

That's me too!!!

But as other PP said, stuff to pack home is a pain.

She's using sposies or cloth?
I know that amongst the balance of the family members, it is normal (and expected...) to bring a pack of sposies...

Maybe phone on the way to see if she'd like you to pick up something? Tea? Decent take-out? Really anything beats hospital food for me. After birthing, all I want is pizza and sushi!

[jecombs]

I really don't like having a lot of visitors at the hospital, but when they did come it was great if they brought food! Hospital food stinks and you are starving all the time if you are nursing and the hospital only brings you food at their scheduled meal times.
ITA about not bringing anything that I will have tote home. If you want to send flowers, send them to the house, not the hospital (unless it's maybe one of the edible arrangments, yum!).

[pagodafish]

I must agree that getting flowers or other "stuff" was nice but kind of a pain to deal with. Even when people called to see what I wanted I couldn't think of anything, or I said I was fine ( I was really out of it on pain meds). My people brought me little treats anyway; cookies, homemade bread etc. and it was FANTASTIC. Hospital food does suck and I was annoyed to eat on their schedule. Having my own little stash helped me feel like I had some control

[khaoskat]

Amazingly enough, there are some hospitals with good food and an open eating schedule. where i delivered my last 3 at, had a menu you could choose from for each meal. Breakfast was between 7-10, and you just called down, made your order and it was delivered within about 30 mins. Lunch was like 11-2, and dinner was like 5-8.

[MegBoz]

I loved having all the visitors that I did. DS slept a lot those first 48 hours anyway, it was nice to have company. Most of my visitors stayed a while & that was fine with me.

Yes, hospital food is dreadful - not only does it not taste very good, it's dreadfully lacking in proper nutrition!!! I was definitely deprived of veggies, protein & fiber!!! (I found this a bit apalling, but my Mom, a nurse, said they probably have to feed the "Standard American Diet" = SAD because most patients wouldn't eat anything else.
Anyway, so yes, any nutritious munchies would be great! I did get an edible fruit arrangement sent to my house by my co-workers and LOVED that!

[Comtessa]

When I was in the hospital I didn't really want visitors - I just wanted OUT as quickly as possible. If somebody had brought a sign for the door that said "DO NOT WAKE US UP unless the hospital is on fire" I would have been thrilled.

I agree that food is a great thing to bring. I had terrible heartburn third trimester and had to give up most of my favorite foods. As soon as the baby was born, I was on the phone to the food service people demanding everything on their menu ESPECIALLY all my favorites!!! (Real Coffee! Oh heaven!) Maybe check with SIL about her favorite foods and bring them. The sort of thing you really can't get even in the hospitals with "good" food. Pizza or sushi is a great suggestion! Or a six-pack of Snapple, or M&M's. You get the picture.

It might also be nice to bring something she could use while she's in the hospital - like really nice-smelling travel-size shampoo/lotion/lip balm. Or fuzzy slippers. Comfort stuff nobody else thinks about. I was freezing the whole time - the PP rooms were so cold you could practically see your breath. A warm sweater wouldn't have gone amiss at ALL.

[Romana]

Originally Posted by pumpkin

What do you want from visitors? Should they bring something? Best time to come?

Come when invited (i.e. call first to see if it's a good time), don't stay more than 10-15 minutes tops unless asked to stay longer, and don't touch the baby unless invited to do so.

The nicest thing anyone brought me was some real food (a nice sandwich).

Also when you call about coming over, ask if there's anything you can bring. She might need something.

[newmommy7-08]

If she has a favorite snack you know of, be it combos or juicy red apples, bring some as a treat. Our hospital actually has fabulous food, so bringing in takeout wasn't an issue unless we got starving after 10pm. But, if you know the hospital food is terrible where she'll be then offer to bring in some takeout for her.

Also, if you do take a baby present in (outfit, stuffed animal, whatever...) and you live close to her, offer to take it home and drop it off the day after they get home. I would have loved it if my visitors that lived close to us had offered to take some of the presents and flowers we got home w/ them. Especially since they all visited us again at home just a few days later.