post #21 of 21
I don't have the stats, and they've already been broken down for you. I can tell you, as someone who did lose my child in a VBA3C attempt, that I totally believe in VBAC over ERCS, in most cases.

I remember the conclusion I reached, after Aaron's death, even though I don't remember all the numbers I waded through to get there. That conclusion was that, compared to RCS, VBACs are:

1) Safer for the mom.
2) Slightly more likely to result in a serious bad outcome (eg. death, brain damage due to hypoxia) for the baby.
3) Much less likely to result in a less-serious bad outcome (breathing issues, NICU stay, etc.) for the baby.

VBAC is safe for most moms and most babies. Neither option is safe for everyone. Someone told me I must not believe VBAC is safe, anymore, because my baby died. Not true. I happened to be one of the women who got stuck on the bad end of the stats. Someone has to be. (Besides...I'm not going to get into my long, ugly "birth" story, but there's every possibility that my son would have lived if I were able to trust any OB/GYN. I'm not.)

FWIW, I didn't rupture. The other two women I know irl who have had stillbirths have never had a cesarean. So...my story may not even be relevant. But, I also know that I'll never forget how terrifying it was when I had dd1 (my second child, and second cesarean) and she would just stop breathing...or how angry I was when the nurse we asked about it replied, "oh - that kind of problem is very common for c-section babies". I never wanted the section in the first place, but I let myself be bullied. As I lay awake at nights, listening for her breathing, and freaking out every time it stopped, I really, really wished I hadn't. Nobody else cares, or even remembers, now - she's 6.5, and healthy as can be...but I'll never forget how terrified I was...terrified that after so many years of ttc, I was going to lose my child to my doctor's idea of "safe".