using a wooden spoon to hit a one year child old is abuse

[blessedwithboys]

ugh, i just needed to say that to a room full of people who wouldnt look at me like i had 2 heads

thanks for listening

[onyxravnos]

oh my goodness.....

"Hitting a adult is assault, hitting a child is 'discipline'"

how could anayone think that was okay? if they hit me with a wooden spoon I would call the police and have them thrown in jail. Poor baby.

[_betsy_]

Beating a dog with a wooden spoon would get you thrown in jail, but a child (heck, a BABY!)??? Well, that's just discipline!

Yuck.

[Dukey25]

Where I live it is also illegal.
I hope someday all children will have that protection.

[butterfly_mommy]

It is illegal now were I live too. However I remeber when I was a child my cousin would be threatened with the wooden spoon by her parents and I know they used it on her My DH also got hit with a wooden spoon when he was a child.

[Hedgehog Mtn]

When I was a kid my mom spanked my brother with a wooden spoon until it broke. She still to this day defends her actions and blames my brother for whatever he did wrong as the *cause*. Needless to say she doesn't babysit.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

Originally Posted by Hedgehog Mtn

When I was a kid my mom spanked my brother with a wooden spoon until it broke. She still to this day defends her actions and blames my brother for whatever he did wrong as the *cause*. Needless to say she doesn't babysit.

Does your Brother remember or hold a grudge? do they have a good relationship now.

My mother used to hit us kids, I never forgave her, never will.

[Hedgehog Mtn]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

Does your Brother remember or hold a grudge? do they have a good relationship now.

My mother used to hit us kids, I never forgave her, never will.

He remembers, it's a family "joke" as in "hey do you remember the time mom broke a wooden spoon over D's butt?" While everyone (else) laughs.
Ironically he was her favorite of us 5 LOL. He went on to be the sole heir to all of her property excluding the rest of us.

I on the other hand consider that grounds for 100% supervision when with my children - but I'm considered weird and overly dramatic for feeling that way. Oh Well.

[haurelia]

Hitting a 1 year old with *anything* is abusive.

[AllyRae]

Who on earth would hit a 1 year old?

Although I guess I"m not surprised. I was a nanny for a family when DS was a toddler, and I quit right after I watched the mom smack her 3 year old across the face and hit her school aged child with a wooden spoon.

[blessedwithboys]

Originally Posted by haurelia

Hitting a 1 year old with *anything* is abusive.

of course! i cant even imagine hitting a 1yo with my hand. i was abused as a child. i dont mean spanked by an otherwise loving parent, i mean brutally beaten. even so, if i knew someone was using an object to hit an older child, it wouldnt turn my stomach quite the same way as a 14 mo baby.

[peaceful_mama]

OMG that is a BABY! I just told DD today she shouldn't fight with the baby because he is a BABY he doesn't know HOW to do anything WRONG.....(it was the best phrasing I could come up with at the time, she was upset by something he did probably involving taking a toy she wanted)

[4JMJ]

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

I just told DD today she shouldn't fight with the baby because he is a BABY he doesn't know HOW to do anything WRONG

I love how you phrased that, I'm going to try to remember that one! Great way to help the older kids to understand baby!

[blessedwithboys]

thats what i said too...one yr olds are babies and they dont "misbehave", they just are and do and learn and explore and make noise and messes, and if you didnt want to deal with it you maybe shouldnt have had kids at all or just adopted a 10yo.

personally, i dont object to "punishment" as a concept. i try to talk and explain and consider extenuating circumstances when my kids make choices other than what i wished they had chosen. if a logical consequence seems needed, i administer it. but i only "punish" after all else has failed. they knew better, they did (or didnt) do whatever it was anyway, and so they get a consequence.

how in the world does an INFANT "know better"?! most dont even talk! and sadly, that was the exact reason my friend said she did it..."of course my kids didnt talk at that age, or even understand what i was saying, so how else was i going to get my point across?"

on a bright note, however...after being subjected to witnessing the abuse, i talked it over with my kiddos. i asked my 7yo if his step mom ever smacked his 13mo lil bro, and he said "NO! he's just a baby!" and then my teenage ds said he would never let his (far, FAR in the future!) wife spank their infants, that he thought it was wrong and sick and reminded me how he was sensitive to babies and how he used to cry when his bro was a newborn and cried. man, i love my kids!

[Spirit Dancer]

My parents spanked us with wooden spoons as a main discipline technique. I never held a grudge about it and have a great relationship with them now. They did the best they know how and I would not say they were abusive. However, I will never do this with my own children.
Just food for thought but around 12-15 months I do start teaching/ training my children and I do start expecting them to listen at this age eg come with called. It takes a lot of patience and time but it does work. IMO, babies this age are smarter then many would think and no, I never hit them.

[BetsyNY]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

Just food for thought but around 12-15 months I do start teaching/ training my children and I do start expecting them to listen at this age eg come with called. It takes a lot of patience and time but it does work. IMO, babies this age are smarter then many would think and no, I never hit them.

You train your children to come when they're called? How do you do this in a way that could be construed as "gentle?"

[Freud]

Hitting with objects is illegal in my state as well. Hitting with hands is illegal if it leaves a mark. Hitting a baby with anything is sickening.

[Sk8ermaiden]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

My parents spanked us with wooden spoons as a main discipline technique. I never held a grudge about it and have a great relationship with them now. They did the best they know how and I would not say they were abusive.

Here too - My mother spanked me with wooden spoons, hairbrushes, whatever was close. We have a fantastic relationship, although I do not plan to repeat her disciplinary techniques.

Even she would object to spanking a one year old in any form - let alone with an object.

[Lilygoose]

Originally Posted by BetsyNY

You train your children to come when they're called? How do you do this in a way that could be construed as "gentle?"

My daughter (now 15 months) comes when I call to her and follows many simple instructions (and started doing so around 11 months). And she learned in a very gentle manner. I just ask, yes ask, her to come here please. Most of the time she does. If she doesn't i go to her and hold her hand, smile and say mommy would like you to come over here please for such and such reason, and we walk to where i wanted her to go and do whatever it is that I was asking her to do- brush her teeth, pick up a toy, play a game,color, etc. Used the same steps to encourage her to follow some directions- get your coat, pick up these toys,etc. I have never yelled at her or had to force her. if she resists when I hold her hand i just try to see why. Sometimes I engage for a bit in what she is doing and then request again. other times I talk to her and add some excitement or silliness and this usually engages her with me. BTW there is no forcing my DD. She is very strong willed when she sets her foot down and the cost of trying to win a power struggle with her would be very high for her and me both, so we just don't do it. Luckily she is also a happy enthusiastic girl, so there is usually a way for us to meet in the middle.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden

Here too - My mother spanked me with wooden spoons, hairbrushes, whatever was close. We have a fantastic relationship, although I do not plan to repeat her disciplinary techniques.

Even she would object to spanking a one year old in any form - let alone with an object.

My parents chased us with wooden spoons, a yard stick, or a paint stirrer with the intent of spanking us--interestingly they never "caught" us. My brother and I would run laughing up the stairs to our room.

But a ONE YEAR OLD?!