Sleep Deprived Mamas Support Thread - Page 2

[Beauchamp]

I was coming on MDC to post a thread called "It's Not Co-sleeping if Mama Isn't Sleeping!", but since I am so exhausted I'll just put the thought down here.

I'm with the PP who talked about insomnia problems. DD wakes so frequently that I am afraid to put my head down and get comfortable. Last night at 3 a.m. I was sitting up in bed with my head in my hands wanting to cry, wanting to sleep, but totally unable to do so.

And by the way, co-sleeping for me is like being in the middle seat on an airplane--- NOT FUN! I have DH on my right, who does try to stay as far over as he can, and DD on my left, who sleeps with both arms straight out from her side, i.e. she takes up almost HALF of a king size bed, and woe to me if I even touch her hands because it wakes her up. ***sigh***

[lotus.blossom]

I hear you Beauchamp!! with my ds1 I used to curl up in a ball at the end of my own bed. Thats not cosleeping, that was toddler tyranny. I am fighting for my right to space this time around. Plus we have a new mattress that doesn't dump us all to the middle of the bed. So it helps. Sort of. I tell you I love it when I go to bed earlier than DH and I have all of his side to stretch out on.

[BubbisMama]

I SO needed to see this today! DS is 20 months old and has STTN maybe a few times. Last night he was awake 8 times in 10.5 hours. I am sick. I am at the end of my rope with this. DH wants to put him in his crib...I told him I haven't worked this hard for this long just to let him CIO...DH seems to think that's a "quick" solution.
When your child doesn't sleep, it can be so isolating. Especially the older they get. No on understands. They offer you terrible advice. I'm so frustrated. I'm exhausted. DS will only go to sleep with us so DH and I rarely get any time alone. I tried for 7 weeks back in the fall to get him to bed earlier (by himself), still in our bed, but it was taking me 1-1.5 hours to get him to sleep so it really wasn't worth the energy.
Nap time is a toss up between sleeping with him or cleaning. I don't know any other mamas that never get any time for themselves, it doesn't seem like much to ask for
It seems like this would/could be easier if he slept on a more predictable schedule. Right now it's random random random and always has been. Saturday night he slept for 13 hours-interrupted of course - and then Sunday night he slept for 8 interrupted hours. Naps are anywhere for 1.5-3 hours at a different time every day. It seems like more sleep could be had overall if he slept for a longer time at night.
Thanks for listening

[fruitlove]

I have no advice but can assure you all that I am in the same boat.

With no family in town, it is just me and my husband. Our DD is 19 months next week and still wakes several times for milk. The best night we've had was when she slept from 11pm through 6 am without waking. My husband is now starting to sleep on the couch by himself because he gets a much better sleep that way.

I am constantly struggling with having DD on a routine. Get up at 7am, nap after lunch and bed at 8pm. Whenever we don't stick to it the nights seem to get worse.

As my LLL leader says: 'This too shall pass...'

[teagan01]

Can I join too?
I have 9 mos old twin girls and the one DD wakes every 45 minutes from 7p-2a, then at 4a and 6a. Her sister only wakes 2-3 times which is fine. DH does a great job but I wish we had family near by to help, we never get a break. Family is on the east coast and we are on the west. I keep telling myself they are only little once and that helps a lot. I can't sleep during the day because DD only naps for a short time. I am greatful for the support of these forums! I can't complain too much, they are pretty easy during the day

[MommyMaggie]

Only 8 week old...

We've been doing this for only 8 weeks and I haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep at time since birth.

My pediatrician said that at this age he should be sleeping 6 hours at time. Yeah. Right. You tell him that. He is breastfed from a bottle (multiple cases of Mastitis are preventing true breastfeeding now) and takes a good 6 ounces at night. But he still wakes up, not because he is hungry, but because he wants his pacifier or he wants his diaper change, or now I-am-super-beyond-soothing-hungry-even-though-I-wouldn't-take-the-bottle-ten-minutes-ago. And when I finally do get him to sleep, I have to pump. Then I can't go to sleep so I read a book.

I REFUSE to CIO with my DS. I REFUSE to use that Ezzo crap.

So... tired....

[alisoninparis]

Wow. I logged onto this forum to post about my sleep deprivation and having read this thread, I'm not feeling so bad after all. DS is 8 months old and has never STTN. He is an all night nurser but we had him almost transitioned to his crib (next to our bed), or at least for a chunk in the middle of the night. Then he caught a cold 2 weeks ago and basically went back to square one. The past couple nights he's been using my boob as a pacifier and whining every time I try to disengage (my back bothers me when I stay in the same position too long). At 5 a.m. I broke down in sobs and DH told me to go sleep on the couch because I was desperate for sleep. I finally fell asleep around 5:30, only to be awakened at 6 a.m. by DD who has been waking up insanely early the past week. I am a zombie, but then again DS does nap during the day (and DD does to school) so things apparently aren't as bad for us as they are for other mamas here. Hugs.

[Maluhia]

Originally Posted by MommyMaggie

We've been doing this for only 8 weeks and I haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep at time since birth.

My pediatrician said that at this age he should be sleeping 6 hours at time. Yeah. Right.

I'm sorry but the advice that an 8 week old should be asleep for six hours straight just sounds insane, I'm so sorry you got such off-base advice from your ped.

[jldumm]

I don't want any sleeping through the night but a consistent 4 to 5 hours at a time each night would be awesome. We just recently decided to move ds out of our bed and into the crib because he was waking every 3o min to 1.5 hours. It worked for his sister, but so far he still is waking every 1.5 to 2 hours to nurse. It is a lot more peaceful than having daddy do any of the night wakings, but we might have to go to that if he doesn't change his ways. i can't do it any more.

[eks]

hope, light at the end of the tunnel and sleep!

hope for non-sleepers...
I just wanted to share a success story! My 2 year old DD has struggled with falling asleep since week one. We have adhered to the "no cry" philosophy which in our case actually results in "no cry without parent holding" since plenty of crying has happened. We do not co-sleep since she was a couple months old, just because it means parents don't sleep well not b/c we have any philosophical problem with it. It usually took us 1-2 hours to get her to sleep at night, with her falling asleep at times at 10pm. We did use the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" which helped a bit with sleeping through the night but not much with falling asleep.
So, first my advice is that things do change and they usually do get better. I know that's hard when you're getting 3-5 hrs of sleep a night and you need better NOW.
Secondly, I find what has changed the most is just some magical development stages. About six months ago she just started sleeping through the night (with some exceptions) and we recently implemented a strategy that works beautifully now, but I'm sure six months ago she would not have accepted. We still do an awake routine of about 45 min of Dad time, reading, quiet music, etc. this is now followed by about 5 minutes of nursing, 5 min of massage, a kiss good-night, give her a special cloth book to read to her dolls and put on quiet music, leave the door open a crack while we are earshot away in the living room. It is fabulous! When she's especially needy she can call for us or come into the living room, which she did the first week or so but rarely does now. It's just such a wonderful change from the hour long battle we used to have staying with her.

So, I hope this helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel

[eks]

I like that..."it's not co-sleeping if Mama is not sleeping". That's how we feel. Theoretically we like co-sleeping and actually often sleep just Mama and DD in a double mattress on the floor, but in bed w/ heavy sleeping DH means no sleep for Mama. Having the extra double futon on the floor in DD's room has been very nice for some naps or especially rough nights.

[alisoninparis]

I posted a couple of days ago after hitting rock bottom, but DH and I found a new routine which is *really* helping. Basically 8 mo DS was waking up and being restless all night long. Every time he woke he needed my boob in his mouth to get back to sleep, and every time I disengaged he started whining again. DH suggested we put DS on his side of the bed, i.e. not next to me. The plan was that I would aim to nurse DS 1-2 times during the night MAX. After only 2 nights, things are drastically improved! DS sleeps from 7 p.m. until about 1-2 a.m., when DH and I switch places and I nurse him to sleep. Once he's asleep, DH and I switch places again. DS woke up once at around 4 or 5 and cried a little bit, but DH snuggled him back to sleep with my boobs far enough away for him to forget about the temptation. Next time DS woke up, around 6 or 7, we did another switch-and-nurse. I'm feeling really optimistic that with this technique we will get DS sleeping through the night, or at least waking maybe once, soon enough. Once we achieve that, we'll move him into his crib next to our bed in the hopes that things won't regress.

[4JMJ]

Sleep....the word sounds familiar, but I can't recall exactly what it is, IT'S BEEN SO LONG!! Well I'm probably being a little dramatic (our youngest is only 4 mos. and the true lack of sleep probably began around July last year). But it feels like YEARS since I have had more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep! And I think I've got a long way to go because DS is totally lovin' the nigttime boob! And if it's not him waking up to eat, it's his 6 yo brother who seems to find his way into our bed every. stinkin. night! Oh well, I think everyone around me is getting used to me functioning in a semi-conscious/aware state! Still, I dream of the day when sleep and I will be reunited!

[Emmery'sMom]

I belong here too. My DD has never been a great sleeper, and any gains we did make in the early months went right out with window when the 4 month GS hit....I'm still traumatized by that GS Things have gotten only marginally better since then, and she's a year old now.
She only naps on me while I nurse and rock her, and wakes within 20 minutes if I try laying her down.
She usually wakes a minimum of 8 times to nurse from the time she goes to bed to the time she wakes in the morning (6 times while I'm in bed with her too). On a bad night she's awake 20+ times, tossing and turning for hours on end, laying next to me playing, headbutting me, smacking me or heeling me in the face at 4 in the morning, trying to roll off the bed.....
I have zero help at night. DH has been on the couch since we brought DD home. Her crib is side-carred so there is plenty of room for him, but- yeah.... I won't even go any further on that
Luckily I don't get any of the unsolicited advice from family/friends. I guess maybe that's one benefit of being an older first time mom at 33, or maybe they just know my personality by now and know what things they better not dare say to me
I was curious if anyone here has read Helping Baby Sleep: The Science and Practice of Gentle Nighttime Parenting, by Anni Gethin PhD and Beth Macgregor? I read a brief snippit about it in the recent issue of Mothering Mag, and there is a good amount of the book available for preview on Amazon....the preview has me intrigued. I'm considering the purchase, but I need better suggestions than what I found in the NCSS...suggestions that apply more for an older high-needs baby that doesn't settle for less than what she wants

[KorbanJ08]

Yes, yes, yes, co-sleeping is great for everyone but the parents who share the bed with the kid. He kicks, he head butts me, he busted my lip open once, sleeps side ways, kicks me in my already sore lower back and than he strokes my DH's arms which tickles and drives him nuts. I wanted to get out of the bed and sleep on the floor.
No matter how much we try, every time we put him in the crib he wakes up. Last night he was dead asleep, but we were not, cause he was sleeping sideways again, so I tried to pick him up and put him in his crib which is only 2 feet away from us. The instant he hit his crib mattress he woke up crying, I picked him up put him in our bed again and BOOM, he was fast asleep again. GRRR...
I get the same comments too:
"just let him CIO",
"he is manipulating you"
"he will never sleep in his own"

Who, cares! I just want a descent nights sleep.
Thanks for letting me vent:yawning

Mom to a perfect 18 month old

[RosemaryS-F]

This was me last night: "Stop crying! Papa is trying to sleep, Caren is trying to sleep, Clara is trying to sleep, mama is trying to sleep and you need to sleep too." We had house guests. Lovely. Also, "Mama is not going to stay in your bed with you, mama wants to sleep in her bed with papa, and you need to sleep here and not wake up." I NEVER imagined myself saying such harsh things to my kid, but when I'm sleep deprived, I'm not myself. DS has a special talent for waking up just as I am drifting off to sleep.

[mrsteapot]

A trick that has worked in the past is to keep a heating pad on low in the crib where the baby will lay, you take it out right before you lay them down so that they don't feel a temp difference and wake up. Now if someone can help me with how to get her to STAY asleep.....

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by mrsteapot

A trick that has worked in the past is to keep a heating pad on low in the crib where the baby will lay, you take it out right before you lay them down so that they don't feel a temp difference and wake up. Now if someone can help me with how to get her to STAY asleep.....

This heating pad does work to help me get her onto those cold cotton sheets. This morning I tried one of those microwaveable heat packs, the aromatherapy rice sock sort of thing that has lavender, cinnamon, lemongrass, etc, inside. It was easier for me to lay that down and kick it aside when I laid her in the crib, since DH was not here and he is the one in charge of monitoring/moving the heating pad when he's here. Plus the rice "sock" can't really get too hot, I don't think. I just left in in the crib near her head, so maybe she will feel a little ambient heat from it, and still get the nice scent.

[Jend1002]

Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.

[Emmery'sMom]

Originally Posted by Jend1002

Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.

Anyone who says that, and is halfway serious about it, has never been well-and-truly sleep deprived for any length of time