Husband not on board-HELP

[adorabelle]

So I dream of living off grid in an Earthbag home or a tiny home or anything of the sort. I was telling my husband about this yesterday and he was like, I don't want to live in a tiny house! The house we're in right now is around 1500 square feet, so it's not huge, but there's a lot of unused space.

*sigh*

I desperately want chickens and he is adamantly against that too. Should I try to convince him or just let it go?

[heathenmom]

Can't speak to the house issue, but RE chickens, my hubby was ADAMANTLY against them. He grew up helping take care of, like, 2000 laying hens and wanted NO part of them. He swore up and down that I'd hate them, that he wanted NOTHING to do with them, blah blah blah. Fast forward 2 years ....

We have 4 laying hens and a rooster, and he LOVES them. He built their pen and laying boxes, and helps me take care of them, and brags about them to other people.

My suggestion is, depending on your living situation, build yourself a small chicken tractor (SUPER easy to do ... www.backyardchickens.com) and get a couple of laying hens, with the understanding that he does not need to be involved or bothered AT. ALL. This is your project, and you will handle everything. And just do it. They're not expensive to keep, and the fresh eggs ... mmmmmm.

That was my way of introducing hubby to farm animals. We're now planning for goats, pigs, and a cow or 2.

[adorabelle]

Awesome! Thanks so much for the encouragement! I'm going to check out that info you gave me.

[ScarletBegonias]

it's taken me about 15 years and lots of statistical quotes and pictures and explanations, but dh is on board now with lots of things he was "adamantly" against. also, i am stubborn, determined and headstrong, so backing down for me wasn't an option. he had no "real" reasons to oppose me, so to speak, so my sound reasoning's and well-researched ideas were received well. he has even come around to the point that he thinks it would be awesome to live in a tipi!

we just bought 10 acres in oregon and will be starting our strawbale homestead (orchard, gardens, chickens, pigs, goats and eventually a milk cow) this summer!

don't give up hope! just do your research, perfect the home arts (food preservation, home cooking, garden what you can, frugality, etc), pepper your lives with cool and interesting real-life stories of how and what other people have done and things will naturally come around! try and start with the least radical stories/pics/books and progress from there. hth and have fun!

eta: also, i do *everything* around the house, not that dh isn't capable - he is actually GREAT at EVERYTHING - makes me sick sometimes - it's that he is disabled, so he's all for anything that makes our lives more meaningful, less dependent on others, easier for me and makes me happy. if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - and that's the truth!

[wombatclay]

Maybe take a subtle approach? Perhaps leave a few of the Not So Big House books around just to introduce the idea of living well in less space (they have crazy beautiful pictures). Then maybe a copy of Little House on a Small Planet to introduce alternative building ideas. A subscrition to a magazine like Natural Home would be a gentle first step (this magazine covers alternative buildings, smaller footprints, etc but without a real "homesteading" agenda and it makes the case for ecological living with a more mainstream vibe).

After a few months of this "stealth campaign" perhaps start paring things down or making small changes within your current home. Books like the Urban Homestead or Backyard Homestead or Made From Scratch might be good resources as well as "randomly left on coffee table/by toilet". Just try to make sure the first few changes don't really impact his comfort zone... don't ask him to do something extra, or avoid a favorite whatever, or change a familiar something. Kind of on the "compost the table scraps" end of the spectrum rather than the family cloth end, you know?

After a few changes have gone without comment, you might point out that you're already living comfortably in X amount of space. Or that it would be easier/cheaper to grow your own organics but a little more space might help. Or that chickens or ducks would let you make X favorite dish more often since eggs would be easier to get and you're composting those table scraps anyway so might as well turn them into eggs. Of course, you may also realize that this isn't what you really want and in that case you haven't lost anything. You'll be more comfortable and living a more sustainable life already!

[kimmom]

My husband was raised on a farm but now that we hav eour own he wants to farm vegetables haha! We knows about the amount of care involved with animals and whenever he talks to his parents, they try to convince him animals are to hard of work! BUT 100% the kids and I wanted animals so we got some. At first he hated the idea of the goats, he grew up with dwarf billy goats not a good goat intro! All he could remember was them peeing on his windshield! We have had our girls since November and it is so sweet to see how he has warmed up to t hem and even tells everyone how cool they are! The chickens same thing, he know sees the kids with them and knows what a great decision we have made! And our cow, I told him I would take her on as my project good idea BUT she needs some work before we can milk her come April and I need his help cause he was raised on a cattle farm! So he has agreed to help me tame up my project, thank goodness!!! And he sure loves MooMoo

[ScarletBegonias]

wombatclay's great book suggestions just made me remember something that helped me with my dh: i subscribe to Mother Earth News and BackHome Magazine. when i would find something i knew he would like i would show him or read it to him. even just the mags lying around were easy enough for him to pick up while he was drinking coffee etc.,.

there's also a mag called Sustainable Living (i think?) that you might like to. most of the mags will give you a free trial issue too, just go on their websites or check your local natural food store for homesteading magazines.