How to teach work ethic when neither parent works?

[ramama]

I am starting to feel that DDs don't understand the correlation between work and money. DH is a 100% disabled veteran, so his disability is our main source of income. I am a SAHM and student. I do get paid for going to school (from the VA) and although I try to show that school is my job, the girls don't really get it because they go to school and don't get paid for it LOL.

The girls get allowance which is not currently tied to chores. I generally don't like tying allowance to chores, but think that perhaps in *our* situation, it may be better? Any ideas or thoughts?

[zebra15]

Well there are many ways to teach/show work ethic. You do good work at school and get good grades. Thats work ethic. (being at school on time, not goofing off, etc). Being responsible at home, helping with laundry, dishes, the garden etc...
Helping wash the car,

Anything were you see a positive outcome of what you did is work eithic.

Another is just being on time for appts,

[mommajb]

To me work ethic involves doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done in a cheerful-ish manner, like Disney's Snow White and all that interminable whistling.
Not procrastinating,
not doing just enough to get by all the time - take a look at long term goals,
pride of accomplishment,
respect for those working with you
(be that the person you have an appointment with or a co-worker or a teacher) and more but I need to go get some work done.

[lolar2]

How old are they?

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by ramama

I try to show that school is my job, the girls don't really get it because they go to school and don't get paid for it LOL.

School is their job, even though they do not get paid. You don't need to be paid for work in order to take it seriously, and have a good work ethic. In fact, it is probably the work for which we do not get paid that best demonstrate work ethic (doing a good job for the sake of a good job).

The correlation between work and money is a reality for most, but not strongly related to work ethic imo.

I wouldn't worry about the work=money connection if they are young. Instead, I'd focus on budgeting skills (provide the allowance for them to budget, untied to chores). When they are older, there is more opportunity to learn the work/money connection through experience. For example, my 9 yo wants to know when she will get a cell phone, lol. My answer is, when you have the income to pay a cell phone bill each month, then you can have a cell phone if you choose to use your money in that manner. Also, she has had opportunities to care for the neighbors' cats, for example, and gotten paid for her work.

[ecoteat]

Work ethic is taiking your work seriously whether you are getting paid or not. Students get paid in knowledge and future opportunity, not cash. I think kids can learn that there are intrinisic rewards for a job well done. Cleaning your room leads to being able to find your toys and that they are better cared for. Getting a task done efficiently leads to more time for play. I think if you and dh model doing things around the house in a pleasant, productive way, then they will pick that up. They also benefit from seeing you model respect for other peoples' work.

[beanma]

How old are your kids?

I've known parents who do a regular allowance, but then also pay for extra chores if the child asks for them. It might be something like raking the lawn or weeding the garden or something more unusual.

[saffrongirl]

I'm sure you've discussed your husband being a veteran with them as well -- being in the military was/is his work and even though he is not active now in the military, he obviously worked extremely hard when he was and is still "getting paid" for the work he did.

I assume also that you are going to school to learn so that you can work in a different/better field at some point. You are doing this in order to prepare for the future; to better your future to be able to have greater financial stability or greater knowledge or whatever (insert goal here).

I guess I would explain it like this: "Dad worked very, VERY hard at his job and gave so much that he is still getting paid for it now and I am working very hard now in my classes to be able to achieve _____________. We ask that you work hard in your classes (and/or chores) so that you will also be able to achieve what you'd like to as you grow up."

I think the other posters are spot on when they say that work ethic does not necessarily have anything to do with money. FWIW, I think SAHMs are usually some of the hardest working people out there and unfortunately don't usually get paid (in dollars anyway).

[LynnS6]

you are teaching them a work ethic - you are doing the things around the house that need doing, even when you don't feel like doing them. You're going to school and juggling school and home. You're doing your school work to learn, not to get paid. You're getting money to go to school but it's not like you're getting more money if you're learning more, right?

I think you need to separate out 'work for money' from the idea of a work ethic. A work ethic to me is doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of pay.

So, for example, we're teaching our kids a work ethic by insisting that they write thank you notes for their Christmas gifts. It's hard work for them, especially dd who's a slow writer at 5. But it needs to be done. Not because it'll get them more presents, but because it's the right (ethical) thing to do when someone has given you a present. They get no reward for that, other than my thanks.

[DaughterOfKali]

I tell my son that caring for/teaching him is my job. I try to explain that some jobs pay money but some offer something else (knowing you are helping others, etc.)

I try to teach that all kinds of work are important and that everyone should try to do their best in their job.

When the child is old enough, you teach about money and it's value.

I also teach about contributing something to society/community/family.
(oops, gotta go, ds needs me)