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for soon-to-be big siblings.. - Page 2

post #21 of 23
I thought about getting DD a gift from the new baby, but then I realized I would have to answer all kinds of questions about where the baby got the gift, and do I have more presents inside of my belly...So I decided against that.

I think she will do fine with the transition. I've babysat quite a bit before and she now thinks that all babies (besides her) sleep in pack n' plays and drink bottles. She's come around to the fact that the baby will share her milkies and now she's excited about that. My only concern is night time because DD still loves to snuggle all night long even though she's 3.5. She also still wakes up multiple time a night to nurse...she has never been a sound sleeper, it's just how she is. I am afraid I'll find myself penned down under two kids all night long and I'll never sleep again! I'm trying not to stress over it though, I'm sure we'll all adjust and it will work out.

I have been referring to the baby as "our" baby or to DD as "her" baby. She is really, really excited. We talk about what we'll do when the baby is born and how she'll help me by bringing me diapers and stuff.
post #22 of 23
I think to some degree my 20 month old DS understands, he seems to make the connection when he sees a picture of a baby that there is a baby in my tummy. He's also very affectionate to my tummy and lays his head on it and gives it kisses. I firmly believe that kids have some kind of a sense about these things, no matter how young they are. We haven't made any plans for gifts for him from the baby or anything, but we show him pictures of babies quite often and talk about it a lot. With how young he is, I think he'll have to learn by experience when the baby comes, haha.
post #23 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by ivymae View Post

I think getting a gift "from the baby" would be weird for them, since they are pretty keen kids and know that the baby does not have a store in there, but a "big sister!" gift from DH and I would be a big hit. We also like the idea of calling the baby "meet and greet" a "Big sister party!" so they feel included, and so people remember that they need the attention a lot more than the newborn.
I agree-- I'm also not a big fan of the "gift from the baby," mostly because of the impossibility of it actually happening and also because of the materialism mentioned by Ann.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazer View Post
My DD will be three and I've talked to her about the baby since finding out I was pregnant. She understands that the baby is inside me, but doesn't understand how the baby will get out in the open or when. I'm not getting her anything special because she already has a baby doll that she doesn't play with and has one million other toys from zealous grandparents. But I've let her pick out clothing for the baby and play with her old baby toys. I've shown her the cloth diapers and baby blankets and she insists that she will help paint the nursery. I think the most important thing for her will be to include her and to make her feel important.
My DD will be three, too... she's seen a few birth videos, so she understands (and will say, at the most inappropriate times! ), "My baby brother will come out of your vagina soon? Unless you have to have a c-section? But We hope he comes out of your vagina?"

I mentioned to Dh the other day that, when we take our first family trip down to visit SC, we should try to drive together and that the baby might take a bottle of expressed milk so that we can avoid stopping every hour. I did't even know she was listening, but DD immediately piped up and said, "NO, Mommy! You know that nursing is better for the baby." I'm just waiting for her to bring that up with a random stranger....

So, all that is to say that she seems to understand and be pretty comfortable with the mechanics of the baby being born and happy to "let" me nurse the baby. However, I don't think she'll be at the birth (unless it is too fast for our family to get here)-- even watching me poke my finger for BG testing is mildly upsetting for her (she says, "Mommy, how will your finger be closed again?"), so I don't know if all of the fluids and the baby crying would be too much for her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley View Post
So we do plan on celebrating this - but not in a 'look!, I just had a baby - now I will buy you off with pressies!' kind of way. I get buying pressies for birthdays and I get it for christmas and I get it for 'just because' - but I have never got it 'from the baby' ...to me (and this is just for us and my opinion, I am not fussed what you plan on doing and I do not mean to offend you if this is your plan!) it just feels like 'buying love'. See how much this baby, that is now taking nearly all my time away from you, loves you so much - they bought you a material item! I just don't really like the message that could give tbh. We do plan on celebrating it and I am sure he will get gifts - but they will be from the people who get them for him. It will simply be a family celebration like Birthdays and Christmas because it is a special day!

Its hard to avoid 'big' brother/sister things though. But I am not refering to him as the 'big' brother. For a lot of people (and I can see this coming from other family members the most - and of course random strangers ...all my friends have three children by now so I have heard it all! lol) use the term 'big' brother/sister usually to 'change' the childs attitude/behaviour/responsibilities. The attitude generally, or so I have picked up on is - suddenly you have to be someone different because you are now 'big' brother/sister. My son will still be my son. He is who he is. I take him as he is. He doesn't suddenly need to change just because I decided to have a baby - and I don't ever want him to feel that way either. For me, I feel this will be very important for that early bonding between us all. I don't want him to feel shoved aside or not loved for who he is and not suddenly changing. He will be a brother - thats all! Thats a pretty great thing in and of itself!
ITA agree with bolded portion, as I mentioned above.

Re: big brother/big sister, Idk. DD is a part of our family, and as our family grows, our responsibilities to each other change. She is going to have to do things/ not do things that differently than before the baby is born. Some of that is just my changing perception (she seems like such a "big girl" to me now, and I think that's mostly because I'm realizing how tiny the new baby will be, and how much she has changed over the past three years), but some of it really is just that we'll all have more to do. That's not a bad thing, IMO-- I expect her to fetch diapers or the nursing pillow or whatever, because I think that including her in the day-to-day baby care will help discourage rivalry.

We'll see how that works in real life, though!
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