Waking in a screaming rage.....what is going on???

[NaturallyPeachey]

Okay - 20 month old DS has been waking every hour in a screaming rage tonight. He threw a huge fit before going to bed earlier and kept calling out for his Gigi (grandma who lives in FL) or an apple but he didn't want an apple, I just assumed he was overtired because he didn't nap today. DH got him calmed down and he went to sleep in his crib. Since then DS has been waking up in the same rage/fit almost every hour on the hour. The first time he was screaming about water, then about Gigi again and now it's all over the board. What is going on here?!??!?! Any ideas? He's been sick with a cold virus for about a week, I'm due with #2 any day so it's been stressful the last few weeks around here. I'm 99.9% sure he's not getting his 2 year molars. No fevers, I've tried putting pressure on things I think might be broken (like little fingers) and he doesn't seem to be in any pain on the outside. Right now he's asleep with DH in our bed.......I feel so helpless right now.

[megr]

Hang in there! We're going through a similar stage with my 3yo son and it's really frustrating. The only thing I can figure is that any little change (in our case, being overtired, doing some traveling, maybe extra stress in the house due to job issues) really affects him. The first few times it happened I think we made it worse by trying to pick him up and hold him and talk to him because that just made him FURIOUS. Eventually we can distract him with something else (a book, a video, anything!) and he calms down. We also do the "oh, be quiet and listen..." and then make up something that interests him (we were doing listen for Santa Claus at Christmas time) and that gives him a breather, which often helps him calm down.

In your case, it sounds like he might be overtired and I wonder if there is some stress he's feeling because of the arrival of #2? I don't have a lot more wisdom to offer, but I think it's normal and, like everything, it will pass! Hang in there!

[kdtmom2be]

We went through this stage at about the same age as your DS. It's normal, probably more traumatic for us than them, and they outgrow it in short order (like a matter of weeks).

I think we used distraction for the most part. I recall that it didn't seem to matter what we did it made her mad. Makes you feel like you just can't do anything right, I know, and that's hard! If he's verbal enough, you might have some luck asking what he would like you to do (e.g. cuddle, hold his hand, leave, sit by his bed, etc). We had some luck with that once in a while. Hang in there, it'll be over before you know it, and your new arrival will be a great distraction from it

[NaturallyPeachey]

Thanks. When he was in the middle of these fits nothing would distract him until I laid down with him and turned on a video for him. He's still sleeping with DH. DS has sure picked a swell time to start this! I've never seen him so enraged before it freaked me out. He's usually so mild tempered even when he's upset you could easily calm him down but tonight was impressive that's for sure!

[Dreamy]

DS is 21 months, and whenever he wakes up like that it's been because of a) an ear infection or b) strep throat. I usually give Advil to help him sleep and take him to the doctor the next day - it's always been because he's in pain

[simplycrunchy]

So glad to hear this happens to others. DD wakes once or twice a night doing this. It's awful to feel so helpless. I don't have any advice, just wanted to say we're dealing with that too.

[elmh23]

For us, that's an ear infection. He might not be able to verbalize that though. Good luck!

[NaturallyPeachey]

Thanks. We've been at the peds. office twice in the past week and his ears were checked on Monday and they were clear. I don't know if ear infections would flare up that quickly. We'll see how he does tonight. If it's another night like last night we'll head back to the ped. tomorrow. Thanks!

[erratum]

we are dealing with the same sort of thing here, too. It comes and goes. Our DS will wake up in a screaming rage, asking for what seems like reasonable requests (ie: i need water, fix my blankets, wipe my eyes, etc etc), one right after another. And if you do these things, it doesn't get any better. He still keeps screaming and asking for more stuff.
The best thing for us I've found is just wait it out. it's tough, because it's three in the morning and we share a bed. It's hard to tell your "three 'o clock in the morning" self to be rational and not get mad. But I've found that the screaming goes on for the same amount of time whether I get all worked up about it or not. Mine as well save myself an ulcer.
I just tell him "we have everything we need right here and when you're ready we can hug and snuggle and go back to sleep." and it works pretty well.


I was talking to a friend about this parenting class she took which had a theory about this sort of behavior. They suggest that children this age are neurologically hardwired to have tantrums (an emotional release) and they will sort of set up these no-win situations (such as asking for strange things that they know they won't receive) in order to have this emotional release that their brains need. And the best thing you can do is not necessarily "fix" their problems, but to be there and present with them through these big emotions. I don't know if I totally by it (the setting up the situation part), but definitely worth consideration.