Toddler won't climb stairs - Help!

[Lizbiz]

Mamas - Please help me!

My toddler (28 months) is really giving me a run for my money just now. I have a 4 week old as well.

We live on the third floor (no elevator) of our apartment building. My toddler *will not* climb the stairs of his own accord when we come back home from being out. This is a huge problem. I have his baby sister in a Bjorn, a backpack on my back, and I am carrying our stroller in one hand. Which leaves my other free hand to hold his hand while he (hypothetically) climbs the stairs with me. He is perfectly able to do so. He can climb stairs for hours while we are out, but as soon as we hit those 2 flights before we get to our front door - he's unwilling.

A note: He's always wanted to be carried up the stairs - this is not new behavior since his sister was born. But, it has now escalated since she's been born. It is hard for him that his sister gets my arms a lot these days. I do my very best to carve out time for just me and him - bath time, story time, time after naps, time after he gets up - so he's adjusting to this new situation, but it's not the root cause of his unwillingness to climb the stairs.

I have tried distractions (singing songs, making it a game, jumping up, etc.), I have tried reasoning with him (doesn't work), and I usually end up dragging him up the stairs by his arm (which yes, hurts him a bit - but I have no choice - it would not be safe to leave him at the bottom of the stairs, and I often have no one to help me). It's awful! I dread coming home.

Today he fell apart as we were at the last stairwell and I let him stay there on the ground while I got our stuff in the door. He cried when he thought I was just going into the house without him, but when I came back to watch him - he started smiling and making a game of it. This is so not funny, in my opinion. I had his little sister in the Bjorn hungry, he needed a nap, and we were all just tuckered out from having been at a restaurant with adults just prior.

I ended up having to drag him up the stairs by the arm. Again, I know this hurts him. I don't like it, but have no recourse. (And I can't move )

So help! I'm in that phase of adjusting to 2 kiddos, and things are generally going well - but I need for the three of us to be independent and able to go out and about. How can I encourage him to climb the darn stairs????

[Justmee]

Sorry no practical advice but Avraham Tzvi does the same thing and it drives me nuts! I used to leave him down and close the door (I can still see, he doesn't know that), but now he's learned how to open the outside door. He also thinks it's a laugh a minute. The only thing that works sometimes (but I think your ds might be told old for it...) is he's only allowed to hold my keys if he's walking up. He likes to hold the keys, but it still works only about 20% of the time. The rest of the time I just pick him up and plop him down inside our door and tell him I'm not too thrilled w/ the behavior.

[pianojazzgirl]

I like Rach's idea of using some sort of little motivator to get him up. Like the keys, or maybe even a little treat (raisin, dried apricot, bunny cracker?) that he gets at the top of each flight of stairs. Or a sticker when you get in the door? I mean, I know rewards/bribes are not everyone's cup of tea, but sounds like in your situation you just have to use what works. I consider the first few month with a new baby to be "survival" time, and I forgive myself using some parenting tools that I might otherwise not consider ideal.

Good luck mama!

[LynnS6]

I second bribery (aka rewards) here too! I don't think there's any danger of you destroying his intrinsic motivation to climb stairs by providing a reward.

Two other thoughts:
Could you leave the stroller at the bottom of the stairs and take him up, then go back?

Can you come home earlier before he's so tired and hungry? Transitions are much, much harder on toddlers when they're tired.