Moving out of province with a 4yo. Advice?

[eirual]

DH got accepted to university out on the East coast (according to mapquest it's a 19hr drive) and we'll be moving sometime over the summer.

We moved a couple of times when DS was a baby (once for me to go to teacher's college, then when finished we bought the house we're in). He's aware of those past moves and has made it pretty clear he didn't want to move from here ever. Understandable feeling.

I wasn't going to stress him out sooner than need be, but with so much buzz going on around here, he now knows. We had a talk about it last night and it was originally a heart-felt "I don't wanna move!" but realizing he'd be going to school and we'd still bring our stuff and we'll all stay together he came around and actually was excited about it.

My real question though, is: how do you deal with the feelings that arrise during Go Time? When we get there he's going to miss his cousins and his grandparents sooo much! I think it will be difficult for us to sort what comes and what stays too(we've already been lightening our load for organizational and financial purposes and he hates to see something sold and go- I think letting things go will be hard on him, but I may be able to comfort him with the idea that all the special stuff is staying and that we don't need x,y, or z or that we can get another when we're there).

Would it be wrong to pack his room without him so I CAN get rid of somethings without a big to do?

I'm open to any other tips and tricks too! Not sure how the logistics of the move are going to work just yet (move ourselves? pull a couple trailers? moving company? dh drive while ds and I fly?).

[Autumn Breeze]

Thankfully at 'go time' ds was 2. It was an adventure, and he'd have his own BLUE room (I painted it the day before we moved)

As for packing his room, you know the really important items. I know I couldn't get rid of some of my daughters things, and I know what she wouldn't missed. Yes, I would probably pack her room on my own.

I would be tempted to pack the 8 yr olds room too, but he's much better about not being a pack rat.

[ollyoxenfree]

Congratulations to your DH!

I think it's important to acknowledge and respect the sadness that children feel when they leave a familiar place and the people they love. At the same time, I think it's important to focus on the positives. The East Coast of Canada is gorgeous and has lots of positives. You can probably get some books, or find some movies set near the area you are moving to, so he can become familiar with it. If there are some attractions that will appeal (whale watching?), maybe plan ahead so that he has something to look forward to.

Skype, e-mail, Facebook etc. make it much easier to stay in contact with friends. If you don't have it set up yet, perhaps try Skype with grandparents etc. now, before you go, so he's used to it.

I might try to separate your early decluttering and getting rid of things from the move. Yes, he knows now that you are going to move, but since you have a few months, you don't have to link cleaning out his closet and toybox immediately to the move. Perhaps you can tell him that you want to find things to donate to Haiti, or in the spring, for Earth Day (both good reasons for it anyway).

When you are packing for the move, give him a box, ask him to label it himself (he can draw pictures) and let him choose what he wants to put in it. Then you can go ahead and pack up his room yourself with a clear conscience.

Good luck and best wishes with the move and the new life!