May I vent for a moment please?

[dentmom3]

DS, who is 3 years old, has had a terrible cough and fever since Sunday night. I have been sleeping with him when he gets up in the middle of the night for more water, thus I have not been sleeping all that well as I am worried about him and his coughing and tossing and turning is making it hard for me to sleep. (I give you this info because maybe in my sleep deprived state I am being hypersensitive)

I posted on Facebook about the little guy being sick (103 fever x 3 days), and a friend of mine posted back "bet you are so glad you have the nanny now so you don't have to miss work". I think she was being supportive and that it is striking me wrong but taking that message to me along with her post about how she has a migraine but can't rest for a moment because she is a SAHM on the same night just felt hurtful. I know the hurt feeling is mine, but I just needed to vent for a moment. FWIW, she is a SAHM, but both kids are in school 5 days a week, so if she really needed to lay down with a headache - she could. Also ran into her last night at the school and she was fully made up and hair all blown out etc, not in keeping with the migraine she claimed when she didn't answer my phone call yesterday.

I am sorry to ramble and get off topic on my own thread. I just need a hug...

[CatsCradle]

Hugs Dentmom! (btwn: I grew up with a bunch of dental professionals - my dad included - so I know how tedious work and life can be in a sleep deprived state from that perspective).

Sometimes I get a little miffed that there is a perception out there that WOH moms are somehow getting a "break" when they go to work. I work in a very stressful and mentally exhausting profession and although I like what I do, it is another form of extreme stress aside from parenting. While it is true that I'm not physcially with my child 24/7, the switching of gears to something I find equally difficult and stressful is very difficult for me at this stage in DD's life. It is a constant and tenuous balancing act. It doesn't help that I have to compress into a 45 hour week what most people in my profession do in 70 plus hours. People on both sides of my life (family and work) are demanding my attention and perfection at everything I do. It is a very difficult thing for me right now.

I know that being home all day with children is difficult because I've experienced it at various times and it is mentally and physically exhausting. But the perception that I am getting a "break" by working is misplaced, IMO. There is a whole different level of stressors and I feel like my mind never gets a break. When I go in tired, my performance is crap and my clients and firm suffer as a result.

Sorry to turn my supposedly supportive post into my own vent. As a disclaimer, I must say that I truly enjoy life and love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything, but sometimes I just want my frustrations to be heard and the misconceptions corrected!

Edit: went back and re-read your post and not sure if my response was on topic. Anyway, hugs.

[robin4kids]

O.k I really don't get SAHM's who have ALL their kids in school all day. What do they do with all they free time? When I was working it was harder in many ways. O.K I was a teacher, so when i was at work, I was with kids, but be even if I had been at another job it would have been the same. When i came to get my kids the rest of the evening was torture. They cried and wanted me to be holding them and playing with them. They did not want me to be fixing dinner or doing HW with them. They just wanted to unload all the stuff they were holding in all day. Every morning i left them I cried because i knew they missed me and I would miss them. Then there was all the house work and chores that i had to fit in to my limited time at home.
Why am I going back to school?

[doubledutch]

that would totally piss me off. doesn't she understand that you would like to care for your sick babe if it were reasonable - and that you probably do have to miss work if your nanny gets sick?! coupled with her post about how she "can't rest for a moment" as a sahm with kids who go to school five days a week, that's ridiculous. her weird comments are her problem and really don't reflect on you, but it's still annoying.

i know what you're going through with the sleep. i was so thrilled ds only woke up four or five times last night - sunday & monday nights were tough . . . very little sleep happening. so i feel for you. but sleep-deprived or not, i would definitely be rolling my eyes at her silly comments.

[dentmom3]

Thanks so much!

Turns out that the little guy has pneumonia (which I suspected) and an ear infection! No wonder he hasn't been sleeping!

There is a long history with this friend and I which is too much for this board (or my typing skills!) but I have been getting a lot of this lately and chalking it up to my own hypersensitivity. Lately it has felt very much like jabs more than anything else.

Now, luckily, my last patient has cancelled and I am going to go home and snuggle my sick little buddy.