Think I Want a Divorce

[monkeymomma24]

I post on here under another name, but for personal reasons don't really want this getting around. I'm very certain I want a divorce. But there are a couple of issues, and I've been reading around here that this is the best place to learn what I need to learn.

*Neither of us have any money. I'm not willing to take on more debt. How do I retain a lawyer? I am in Massachusetts. I think because a child is involved, in MA, it has to be a contested divorce, which will likely take longer and cost more.
*Even if I got child support, and there's nothing to say that I would necessarily or that I would even be granted primary custody, I wouldn't be able to continue living in the area I live in and would almost certainly have to move back in with my parents. Problem? They live in another state.
*I am not interested in battling for custody. The man I'm married to is a good father. I don't want to keep him from his child, but I don't want to be separated from my child because I won't be able to afford living here any more, either.
*Child is under two years of age.
*I am not breastfeeding, so that wouldn't be able to be used as a custody argument.

What else do I need to consider? What should I be prepared for? There's no abuse. No affairs. We just don't like each other any more. It's been months since something coming out of our mouths wasn't an argument or accusatory or rife with insult. And I'm sick of it. I'm not interested in counseling. I don't think there's anything to save in our marriage. I just want it to be over with as minimal damage to all involved as possible.

[Theia]

Try your local legal aid clinic. In some states you can download/print (free) or purchase the forms for a few dollars.

I would consult with an attorney or several. Even if it's just over the phone, 10 minutes, if you have your facts/questions together, you can get some useful info to base your next steps on.

Oh, there is also a forum that you could go to, something like freelegaladvice. They might be able to give you some info. But I think ultimately you will need a lawyer to protect your rights.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

[sunfish21]

I know nothing about MA, so this could be totally off base. In WI we don't need a lawyer and can get court-ordered mediation to work on things we aren't agreeing on. I ended up breaking down and borrowing the money from my parents--but this is a different situation and I do want to fight for things.

[robinchap1]

I am divorced in MA. I don't know all the answers. I did use a very good, helpful lawyer. I don't think she does any legal aid work, but I bet she would answer a few questions for you on the phone and be able to steer you to free legal help. Feel free to PM me for her name or just to chat or for support or whatever.

Some states have automatic joint legal custody. MA does not. It is my understanding that MA courts will not order joint custody unless it is agreed on by both parents. FYI breastfeeding past a year wouldn't have helped you in court around here anyway, sadly. I do not think the divorce has to be contested. We filed a joint petition. MA is a no fault state, it doesn't really matter who files or if you file jointly. Except whoever files has to pay the filing fee! Everything is automatically 50/50 no matter what the circumstances, pretty much (except custody). If the 2 of you can work out a custody agreement on your own that you both agree to, a judge will sign it. From what I've seen, if it is contested and you go before a judge most fathers still get every other weekend and 1 night/week for dinner unless there are unusual circumstances.

Have you and your husband talked about this yet? Do you know if he would try to get custody?

Good luck to you. Even when it is the best decision, it is still sad, difficult and stressful. I would be happy to be a local single mommy friend who's been through it. Take care.